my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

RH of NYC….Kelly implodes

On this episode 5 of the ~real~ housewives head off to St. John …or “St. Johns” to Ramona…to celebrate a bachelorette weekend before Ramona’s vow renewal.

Ramona says that Jill didn’t join them on the weekend because it was not about her.  It couldn’t be because she felt uncomfortable spending a weekend with Bethenny. Right?

The countess is visiting a major record producer to record her single.  He is the real deal and we get to hear the long list of real stars that have paid him to record there.  While Bravo tries to spin it to sound as though she is very talented and that is reason he records her, the smart viewers know that he will record anyone who can pay the bill.  The bill will be high.   He wears his sunglasses the entire time, which makes him look like a dork, and feeds her a load of BS about how wonderful she is.   She is not horribly horrible.  That is the nicest thing I can say.

The ladies land in St. John, minus Jill and Luann,  and Bethenny looks like she is in shock. She just buried her father.  I feel bad for her.  Kelly announced that she doesn’t eat processed foods and says she prefers gummie bears.  Not one to let things like that go by Bethenny points out that gummie bears are hardly natural.  Kelly then says that it’s ok because they are “fun candy.”   Be warned, this is just a taste of the crazy that is to come.

They go to the dock because Bravo has arranged for them to stay on a yacht. Ramona grabbed the master suite because we are all supposed to believe that she is hosting this trip.

We start with Ramona showing off her bathing suits.  She does have a great body and I can’t blame her for being excited to show it off.  Everyone gets into a bathing suit and checks out the deck.   LUNCH TIME but Kelly needs to change and her clothes because she can’t eat in a bikini.  Whatever.    Ramona expresses concern for Bethenny and I like her for that moment.

Ramona wants her Pinot Grigio and Bethenny offers to stomp on the grapes from the fridge.  Hungry Kelly freaks out and says “NO, I am eating those.  You are not going to stomp on them”…B carefully explains humor but I doubt it registered.   Whacky Kelly is back in action..

Ramona begins talking about how Jill sent a text to Ramona telling her about B’s dad passing away.  She feels that Jill wanted to be the one to break the news.  They discuss how Jill kind of freaked out at the party because she did not get the call first.

Kelly now starts on her first strange rant of the day.  She says she doesn’t want to talk bad about people because she is a real person and she is normal.

“We are not normal?’….which is the question I would have asked.  She moves along and says that they are all too concerned with everyone elses moves.  For no reason she suddenly turns on Alex for delivering the message to Jill.  (how long are we gonna talk about this?)

B again patiently addresses her and explains that Alex had been putting up with Jill for 2 years and her packaging might have been a little off.

Kelly responds “It’s not that I don’t get it;  it’s that I don’t CARE.”….yeah…she said that.

B says ‘If you don’t care then don’t respond.”

Kelly then says that they are making lemons into lemonade.  Yeah, she said that too.

B once again explains that this analogy probably doesn’t fit her point.

Kelly then tells them that she will not do this everytime she comments on something because they are making it into something…it’s crazy…it’s gross…it’s disgusting.    Then she adds that she has a lot of respect for people she cares about.  I am guessing she cares about no one at the table.

They explain that they are just expressing their feelings.  Kelly’s eyes roll back into her head “Oh FEEELINGS”…a concept that seems to find ridiculous.  She then says that she is “not that girl.  Not the sorority, bitchy girl”  and she makes what she hopes will be a dramatic exit from the table.    The only problem is that she can’t figure out how to open the glass doors to get inside.  She gives another speech about how she will be in her little world with cart wheels and kindness and they can enjoy their banter and vile behavior.

Damn.  Doors won’t open.  She is stuck there until the nice paid help pushes the button with her finger.  Ramona tries to smooth it over and tells her they will see her in a little while…sweetheart…that had to hurt coming out.  Kelly takes the olive branch and smacks them all with it while she calls them demented and sick.    Kelly might want to pick up Luann’s book.

The girls dish on Kelly for a moment and then she returns with some kind of odd apology.  They give her dessert.  They probably just wanted to keep her mouth busy so she would shut up.

Later that evening Alex joined Bethenny on the deck.  B asks how she is enjoying her first trip away from the hubby and kids.  Alex wants to know how she is doing.  They like each other and you can see it.  I like that.  It’s a lost part of this show.  Genuine affection for each other.  Nice.  B talks about her father’s death and Alex listens sincerely.  Then they shift the conversation to Kelly and lunch.  Alex asks “What was that?” and they dissolve into laughter.  Real laughter.  I like it.  Belly laughs.  Bethenny said she might have gone to Columbia the country because there is no F-ing way that broad went to college.  I have to agree.

No-- this wasn't her date, I just like the picture and the "Project Runway" dude.

Back in NY Luann is on a date with her gay friend.  It’s a rather boring scene really.  I don’t care to watch people ordering in a restaurant.  He is trying to be flirty.  Luann makes it clear in her private interview that she doesn’t want to be serious.   He is acting weird.  The guy gives me the willies.    Suddenly he presents her with a gift.  HIS BOOK.   A product plug !?!  Well that NEVER happens on this show!!

He starts to push her for information on what she is doing.  Then he proceeds to try to flirt in a manner that makes me never want sex again….or at least for a long time.  He has a slimy vibe to him.  He starts kissing Luann and she doesn’t seem to be very into it.  I want to call the police and get a background check on the guy.  Never mind.   Run Luann.  RUN.

In St. John the girls are snorkeling.  Sonja tells us she did not want to ruin her good hair day to snorkel.  Her hair looked like….nevermind.

Dinner on the yacht:  SEATING CHART.   Ramona doesn’t want Kelly and Bethenny fighting.   I give her credit for trying.  Alex gives a toast.  It’s nice.  For a moment.

Bethenny, Kelly, and Sonja are talking.  B opens up about her father and the fact that he seems to have never loved her.   Kelly is hyper defensive about EVERYTHING B says.  Even when she discusses the pain of her father not loving her, Kelly defends the man.  Tells B she needs to accept it for what it is and then tells her that it is not ‘uncommon”…I wonder who she hangs out with?

Ramona pops in very drunk.  She has been on the neighboring yacht which is owned by the owner of Hooters.  She wants everyone to come visit that yacht with her.  Suddenly Sonja yells out to Kelly “When you have sex, do you ever think about women?”….I caught that.  I think she might have been hitting on her.  She then chastises her for not having one night stands.  I am going to guess Sonja missed the news of the aids epidemic?

Sonja is now in her personal interview commenting on how when she is around the conversation always turns to sex.  They think she is Dr. Ruth.  Ummm…Nooo….Sonja dear, YOU bring it up.

Bethenny agrees she has had a one night stand.   That is enough to start puritanical Kelly onto a speech about how she doesn’t do such things.  She is from the Mid-west.  Sonja doesn’t believe Kelly.  She laments that no one wants to die without a one-night stand.  Wow.    Is that really an important aspect to life?

Sonja is feeling like she needs compliments.  Bethenny plays along and gives her compliments and a hug.  I think I like the non-drinking B.

Suddenly Kelly starts on a new rant.  Why do people need titles: “Victim.  Survivor.?  Why can’t they enjoy the life that that they are living now?”

Sonja says “You’re not judgmental?”…which was an excellent reply.   Kelly assures her that she is not.  Sonja says that Kelly gets upset when people feel emotions.

Kelly then says…and I have to quote this “To be honest with you this whole feelings’s like 1979.”   She goes on to say that life is too short for pesky things like feelings and emotions.

Sonja is quickly learning to play along and I am starting to like her.  She says what she likes about Bethenny is that she is a survivor and doesn’t play the victim.  Kelly then says she is wrong and that Bethenny plays the victim a lot.   She then launches into a full blown attack on Bethenny.

“Bethenny tries to make people feel bad so that she can feel better about herself”

Bethenny begins to question her and Kelly brings up their argument from last season.  Bethenny tells her to let it go.  She accuses B of putting her and her kids in the press and when B denies it she says  “No one cares about you Bethenny.  No one cares.”

Kelly follows with a list of what she thinks about Bethanny: vindictive, malicious, cunning and deceitful.  Oh, and it’s creepy.  OUCH.  I am guessing that Kelly never read any articles on how to comfort grieving people?  Just a guess.   She also doesn’t seem to realize that when you enter your kids onto a reality TV show YOU are the one that put them in the press.

Oh, but she is not done.  She is now on her feet to say ‘You are not a chef but a COOK and it’s creepy.”   I wonder what is creepy about being a cook?  B corrects her and says that she went to culinary school.  Then Kelly tells her that no one asks her because nobody cares.    Kelly’s social skills are off the charts.   Bethanny actually kept her cool here and I give her a lot of credit for that.

Kelly tells us that she would like to look at Bethanny’s resume’  so she can see what she has actually done.  I wonder if Kelly has a resume?

Bethanny tells her that she speaks and she doesn’t know what she is talking about and then says “you are the most unintelligent person she has ever had the pleasure to be around. The worst vocabulary….” she is cut off by Kelly announcing that this is the world according to Bethenny.

She is glad she is not a ho-bag like Bethenny.  That made Bethanny laugh and I was glad to see that.

Bethanny decided to go over to the Hooters boat.  Good call.

Ramona is over there kissing on the owner of Hooters.  She started talking about her hubby and how much she loves him.  That is nice.   Bethanny is on the scene and tries to express what just happened.  I don’t know how she could explain it because even after watching it twice it is hard to understand.

Sonja comes to tell the group that Kelly is like a dog with a bone and has no basis for her argument.   Kelly announces that Bethenny has issues.  Ramona loudly announces that she is not going to let this go on.  She is in Kelly’s face and tells her to STOP.

Ramona, Alex, and Bethenny all go out dancing.   Sonja and Kelly go back to the boat.  I got a strong impression that Sonja was hitting on Kelly.  I got that vibe several times.  I could be wrong.  I don’t care either way, just a noticed it.

Next week we will see how this trip possibly could get worse.  It looks like it does.


From Life&Style,  Oct. 7, 2009

As Life & Style first reported, Sonja Morgan is joining The Real Housewives of New York City. The 45-year-old socialite and movie producer, who’s married to John Morgan, the great-grandson of J.P. Morgan, should provide plenty of drama: She recently lost a major legal battle with Hannibal Pictures over a movie in which John Travolta had been tapped to star. “She just lost a breach of contract case with a judgment against her for $7,066,294,” says an insider. “I am appealing,” Sonja tells Life & Style. “I hope the truth will be told.”


May 14, 2010 Posted by | Housewives, Reality TV | , | Comments Off on RH of NYC….Kelly implodes

Lewis Black has some words for Glenn Beck

May 14, 2010 Posted by | Greed, Humor?, Politics, Reality TV | , , | Comments Off on Lewis Black has some words for Glenn Beck

“RHWNJ” Season 2, Episode 2 “My Daughter’s A STAR!”

Danielle is selling her 21 room home but her ex gets most the money. She complains about him not paying her. It’s a 2 million dollar home listed for less than 1.3. awwww. Dina feels very bad for Danielle. Danielle cries to the Realtor.

Jacqueline and Caroline waiting for Teresa at lunch. The three ladies obviously enjoy each others company. giggling and just having fun. Then Teresa asks if J heard from Danielle and Jacqueline admits to speaking to her. Caroline and Teresa are pissed but J says she doesn’t have a problem. “Peaceful acquaintances” Caroline says that Danielle’s children are lacking light behind the eyes. That is cruel. J is right, that is “crossing the line” but Jac just shakes her head and tells us how she stands up for herself, even though she doesn’t stand up to her sister-in-laws (which I’m glad she doesn’t because she’s wrong about this) . Teresa brings up court documents and the kidnapping, cocaine, and loaded guns. Jacqueline says it was many many years ago. Caroline said “kidnapping” is different than shoplifting or being loose. “you hang around garbage you start to stink.”

Caroline says, “She will never win against us. Never.” What are they talking about? Win what?

Young adults throwing ham. This has something to do with the tweets I saw earlier. Ham Game. “Nothing good about the ham game, nothing fun about the ham game . . .” So, the kids are throwing ham and Caroline gets mad. Sort of. She doesn’t like the ham game.

Albie and Lauren discuss Vito and how “thinking of him holding your hand makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.” ha,

Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley comes home and brings her laundry. More about Ashley needing to grow up. Ashley explains that yes, she can get into clubs even though she’s only 18. J asks questions. Ashley evades and walks away. All mom wants to know is ARE YOU BEING SAFE and they start bickering.  Brat says, “if I wanted to come here and argue with you, I’d just live here.’ Mom says, “Okay, goodbye, and take your laundry with you.”

One of Danielle’s girls just got a modeling offer. All right, what is better than THAT. She’s 13 years old. Send her to Europe! woo hoo. She will become a supermodel because she’s amazing. Danielle said that the pros are ccomparing her to Christy Brinkley . . . . yeah, right . . .

Jillian doesn look thrilled when mommy says, “you’re next. You’ll both be superstars”

Jaqueline and Dina in a baby store shopping for Teresa’s baby. Jacqueline told Dina that Ashley moved out because she didn’t like the rules. Dina asked if she’s ever just given her a “good old fashion Italian beating.” Yeah, she said that.

“I created this monster.” Yeah, Jacqueline said that. I’m having too many shocking moments tonight.

Teresa is bringing Gia to audition as a model in Fashion Week. Gia starts listing all her talents and I was looking for the cue card. She starts getting her “catwalk on” and Teresa loves it. Gia giggles. Gia does a walk and a cut to Danielle saying “Gia doesn’t have it.” Teresa says, “my baby is a star. What’s not to like? She’s beautiful.” Agent says, “I will be in touch . . .”

Danielle and Christine on the way to Christine’s photo shoot. Let’s pimp this kid out! It may be a housewife show but . . . well . . .$$$$ and whose the photographer? Bensimon! Kelly’s (RHWNY) ex husband. Christine reads lines with the affact of a 2nd grader. Yes, she’s pretty. She likes when people stare at her and tell her she’s pretty. Danielle is an over-obnoxious stage mom taking pictures of the photoshoot. Christine reads her lines that say mom is “annoying and needs to stop.” A robot might have more emotion.

Photographer wants to take Danielle’s picture too and Christine’s face looked PISSED. hmmm,

Mother daughter shoot. Danielle thinks she’s a model, again. Whatever.  Note to Christine: I’m sorry your mommy put you on TV and is pushing you into modeling. RUN .

Vito comes to pick up Lauren and face Albie. More tension.  Vito says, “ya wanna go talk about it ” and the men go in the kitchen. Again, it’s weird that my bro is fucking my sister . . . . ok. He didn’t say that but he’s worried about “if they break up ” that he’d lose a friend. Albie says It’ll take me awhile to adjust but he doesn’t want to SEE anything.”

“Be a gentleman . . .” backslap, buddies, have fun. Kum ba ya.

Danielle. at the modeling agency. Double kiss from a man for the little girl. Ohh, Danielle so impressed by NAMES and famous people. FIrst photo shoot, Cover. My daughter. More lines for Christine. IT’S A FUCKING TV SHOW. The DAILY is viewed by EVERYBODY (never heard of it)) and having a 5 page spread!! YEah, bravo is investing in this little girl! I’m sick to my stomach. It’s one thing when the the adults on these shows crash and burn. This girl is 13. I believe this is Danielle’s dream, not Christine’s but Christine loves the attention. Agent says she’s a great mom. “Will you have trouble going to Milan?” Nooo’ BOOK IT DANO”

Doesn’t she have another daughter? Don’t they have school? doesn’t she have a job . . .oh, sorry . . . .

Seriously, this might be my last recap. I can’t watch the kids. They are making this show about Christine and Gia. Are they housewives? Did they sign a contract? Are they getting paid for their performance on this show? yeah, sound like a freaking broken record. I’m sick of selfish parents pushing their kids in front of the camera so THEY get attention. Last week the girl was her mom’s handler/therapist and this week she’s the next supermodel of the world. I wonder how her classmates will treat her now that she’s officially the most beautiful 13-year-old that has ever existed on this earth.

Jacqueline’s house with Teresa and Caroline. More girl talk, giggling, nothing I really want to write about since I haven’t been pregnant in 12 years and I won’t ever be pregnant again. Ohhh, psycho table flip clip . . . that never gets old.

Danielle wants to have a party in her daughter’s honor and wants to invi . . . “NOT CAROLINE!”  . . . . but, of course she wants to extend an invitation to Dina and Jacqueline. The girls again give their mother advice and say that maybe they  shouldn’t . Danielle didn’t get this.

Danielle calls Dina to invite her to luncheon for Christine. Why is Danielle inviting ladies that aren’t friends? Then she calls Jacqueline and J says she’s happy and she supports BUT . . . it’s awkward right now. She blames it on her husband and I think that’s fine. Why would they want to hang with her. Danielle was disappointed in Jack’s response. I guess she thinks that she’s more imporant than J’s marriage and sister in law. Danielle is a selfish bitch.

Teresa gets a call saying that Gia will be in the show next week. She explains to Joe that it’s fashion week as he uses a slap chop. Hope he’s not chopping his nuts. Teresa tells Gia and the little girl SCREAMS and dances on her bed. Strut your 8 year old stuff! mommy laughs with pride. I vomit.

Danielle. How much do we need of her psycho face this week? She’s planning the luncheon for her daughter Christine because she’s on the over of a fashion magazine . . . unless you missed it the first for thousand times she mentioned it.

Kim “D” is the friend not a friend friend. She invited  everybody she could and acted as if all these woman were her best freineds. Some of them she met at the grocery store. “It’s my daughter, I gave birth to her,” and she shows everybody the magazine.

Christine said, “my mom’s luncheon, wasn’t really for me . . .”

I think a certain type of woman goes on these shows and it’s harmful to everybody around them. I’m hating reality TV.

More Danielle, talking about ME. She announces that Jacqueline and Dina were invited and there are two empty seats. She announces this to the luncheon guests “I Wish them love, wrap them in beautiful light . . .” they never said they would attend. They said no. The ladies trying to talk and Danielle mentions that Kim “D” belonged to Caroline. “She decides to call one of them out saying “you’re her friend” the woman says Caroline is NOT not my friend. Our sons are friends” All the ladies clap and say they are her friends . . . yippieeeee. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. I wonder if Kim “D” is working undercover . . .

In coming attractions Gia is crying and you hear her dad say, in a horrible tone, “Crybaby.” I won’t be watching this show anymore. Sorry. My anger over the kids will make me a hater and I really don’t need to get so angry watching TV. TV was once something I enjoyed.


May 11, 2010 Posted by | Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reality TV, RHNJ | | Comments Off on “RHWNJ” Season 2, Episode 2 “My Daughter’s A STAR!”

Congrats to Bethenny Frankel: IT’S A GIRL!

The Real Housewives of New York City star and her husband Jason Hoppy welcomed a baby girl Saturday, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.

“Bethenny and Jason are proud to welcome their new baby girl, Bryn Hoppy, born at 8 a.m. . . . in New York City,” the rep says. “She is a 4 lb. 12 oz., healthy baby. Bryn, mom, dad and [their dog] Cookie are all very happy.”,,20367836,00.html

yeah, it’s photoshopped.


May 8, 2010 Posted by | Couples, Housewives, Reality TV | | Comments Off on Congrats to Bethenny Frankel: IT’S A GIRL!

Real Housewives of NYC

This show is out of control. What happened this season? I feel kind of dirty for watching. Normal social boundaries do not apply here. We grew up being taught that gossip was bad, saying mean things is wrong, and you should not talk about people behind their backs. Right? Violating those simple rules is all this show is about anymore.

Much of this episode focused on Alex’s decision to carry a message to Jill and deliver it in front of several people. Everyone has an opinion and feels that they are entitled to share it. Alex isn’t allowed to share her thoughts though; when she tries she is either cut off or talked over. She listens intently with her scarecrow face furrowed into strange expressions. She is very polite and even kind while she is being crucified. Watching it happen was painful and yet I somehow came away with a lot of respect for Alex. I would have lost my cool quickly and suggested several things they should do; most of them starting with F.

One of the more ironic moments was when the Countess asked Alex if she thought she was God while she was chastising her for getting involved. Alex resisted the easy shot and did not point out that the Countess was doing the exact same thing.

Finally, after being yelled at by enough people, including BOBBY, Alex tried to talk to Jill. Guess what? Jill won’t let her. Jill would rather nurse her wounds and continue her season as a professional victim.

Which brings me to Jill. What is wrong with her? She was crying about Bethenny and at one point says that when Bethenny was ready to talk to her she couldn’t talk because she DIDN’T HAVE HER NOTES!?! WHAT?? Is that an insane thing to say? She couldn’t make up with her friend because she needed notes? And she needed the right camera angle too- right?

It’s ok though. Now Jill has two nemesis to deal with so she can be properly victimized for the rest of the season. Expect more crying and comforting next week. Poor poor Jill. I wish her mother would come to town and tell her to put her big girl panties on and grow up.

Ramona surprised me this week. When Bethenny reached out to her during one of the hardest days of b’s life, Ramona was amazing. She has the right words, the proper empathy, and her tears were real. As crazy and strange as she has been this season, that moment redeemed her in my mind. I wish we could see more of Ramona in this mode.

Bethenny , I have nothing but kindness to wish to her this week. I have a message for her: Pregnant, losing a father after years of estrangement, no solid support network in your life….Girl, you are doing great. You have made something of your life. You are STRONG. I don’t think YOU believe that and I think you are your own worst critic. You keep those walls up and your use biting humor to protect yourself. I get that. I hope and pray that the new baby and husband in your life will help you learn to lower your guard a little. Appropriately, of course.

Kelly is coming across much better this season. I could not stand the nut job last year. This time she is not in your face and seems more comfortable with taking a quieter role. It suits her much better.

Last thing: The new lady. I don’t get it. I can’t even remember her name. In my opinion she is not very attractive and not very interesting. She is attempting to create a character out of herself and it’s a little pathetic. Most of what she says and does seems as though she is trying to show something off or prove that she is some amazing socialite. She’s trying too hard. Yawn.


May 7, 2010 Posted by | Housewives, Reality TV | | Comments Off on Real Housewives of NYC

RHNJ: Season 2, Episode 1

Danielle goes to a priest to tell him how awful the other ladies are and requests he teach her how to pray for them. It was an excuse for her to say “they looked up my past and called me names in front of my daughter.” Um, Danielle, YOU brought the book to the dinner (last season’s finale). You also could have sent your daughters out of the room, as the other ladies did, but you chose to let your very mature daughters watch you make a complete ass of yourself.

From the seasons future clips, it seems this season will be all about everybody against Danielle. I guess I should feel sorry for her for allowing Bravo to portray her as such an ignorant psychopath, but she’s over 21, signed the papers and is obviously capable of making her own decisions.

Teresa and her family members are making their yearly batch of Italian tomato sauce. It was a very nice scene except for one part. Somehow, they were discussing Jewish men and one of the young daughters said, “I don’t want to marry a Jewish man . .. they make their kids wear . . .” “OH, don’t say that . . .” ha ha, laugh it off, isn’t the kid cute.

Ok, Bravo. What was the point of that scene? So Jewish people like me will wonder what this little girl hears in her household to make her think negatively about Jewish people or why the editors decided to keep that obvious controversial line in the show. Also, knowing how much I trust reality TV I have to wonder if that line was scripted for the little girl or if this young child already has a prejudice for a certain group of people that are “different.” I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear about this subject.

What I liked about the sauce making is the few things I learned.

  1. You put a potato in the pot and when the potato is cooked, the sauce is done.
  2. The make it a family event with all the generations participating and the younger children learning. I found this to be very sweet and made me crave a little Italian in my life (or a big Italian, but I digress)
  3. They make enough sauce for a year. I think they said they jarred over 100 bottles. That’s really cool and probably extremely economical.
  4. Italians have a superstition that if a woman is “on her time” that she shouldn’t be involved in the cooking of the sauce. Somehow, if a woman has her period, she will ruin the entire batch of tomato sauce. Okay. I wonder if Italian men cook for one week a month . . . .

Jacqueline, my favorite on this show, tells her husband that she won’t close the door on Danielle. I’m not sure why but she says she might still want to text her. Whatever. Her husband has decided that he doesn’t wan the woman in his life, in J’s life or in his house. He doesn’t want the drama in his life. Gee, maybe he should have thought about that before his sisters and wife signed up for a REALITY SHOW!

Caroline’s husband has lost a great deal of weight and they go shopping for his new wardrobe. Very sweet. Caroline cries when she sees how great her man looks.

Caroline is having her yearly $!000 plate fund raiser for the Sheriff. They support their local law enforcement. Her husband instructs the boys (young men) to clean up all the dog poop before the real workers come to turn their backyard into a party paradise. Dad says, “Get Vito to help you.” Vito, it seems was Albie’s best friend for the past 5 years and now he’s dating Albie’s sister. He can’t handle it. Vito and the sister are happy in love, “he lives to make me happy” and they seem sincere and authentic. Vito shows up to clean poop in a suit. Scenes of nicely dressed men cleaning poop and scenes of dogs pooping. Riveting TV.

Danielle goes to the salon and has to mention that when she first started going there, Dina worked there. Is this a bad thing that Dina had a job? I ‘thought’ Dina and Danielle were friends but Danielle just needed to get a dig in at Dina. During her pedicure (ugly feet), Danielle was informed that Caroline is having a huge fund raiser. Danielle wonders why she wasn’t invited and is really ticked off. Maybe she should ask the Bravo scene writer why she wasn’t invited. The other shows always have people who hate each other having dinner and being social. I know that when people who hate me don’t include me in their social life, the first thing I do is feel slighted . . . eye roll . . .

Danielle, the psycho, puts her girls in the car and is going over to check out the party that she wasn’t invited to. Her daughter is more mature than she is and Danielle is showing CPS that she is mentally damaged and should not be raising daughters. Seriously, How safe is it to bring your children on your outings when you are angry and full of rage? She thinks this party is against her. She’s nuts.

Jacqueline says it sounds like a high-school lunch table when the ladies trash Danielle. Everybody was trashing her and Jacqueline and Dina were getting angry hearing their friend being gossiped about.

Danielle is repeating over and over “I don’t care that I wasn’t invited . . .” yeah, we can tell by the bulging eyes, hands grasping the steering wheel and the petrified look on your little girls’ faces that you don’t care you fucking psychopath.

Danielle wonders why they need to charge a plate if they are “thick as thieves” with the Sheriff. Danielle has the passive-aggressive sarcasm down pat and if I wasn’t disliking her so much, I’d almost be envious of her guts. ALMOST. She’s really kind of creepy.

Danielle’s girls don’t want to make a jerk of herself. They are smart girls but Danielle is saying “I couldn’t care less that I’m NOT invited . . .” Wow. Danielle listened and went home. She claims she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of showing she cares? What, don’t you think that they will see you driving and practliay foaming at the mouth because you weren’t invited to a party you can’t afford?l She went home with her daughters. Maybe one of them will be named her legal guardian and she could have mommy committed to a loony bin.

In other stories, Jacqueline’s 18 year old daughter moved in with a “friend.” and comes over with her 24 year old boyfriend and his puny dog. Jacqueline is concerned that her daughter is young and stupid, and she has a good reason for this since her daughter doesn’t even know how to open a checking account and her “diploma” is probably a GED. She says she needs “a semester off” and Jacqueline’s husband (is he her dad?) says, “a week off of WHAT?” Then they have the scripted scene of the protective father chopping vegetables with a big, sharp knife while the older boyfriend swallows deeply and fears for his testicles. Subtle Bravo.

Extremely uncomfortable and unnessess scene with Jacqueline asking her daughter and boyfriend if they are safe and do they use h control. The girl can’t write a check, you think she’d know how to . . . oh never mind. We know she will be pregnant by the end of the season (not really, just assuming).

In another story, there is this blond lady that owns a store. Danielle comes in and does her usual whine and gripe about the other ladies and the woman and Danielle shook hands and committed to their alliance of true friendship.

At Caroline’s party, that same woman and her boyfriend, who’s not a wise guy but could play one in any movie, come and sit at the table with the housewives. This woman proceeds to trash Danielle as Bravo cuts to scenes of her and Danielle declaring friendship. Kudos to the editor. This blond lady is obviously a two-faced housewife reject who wants her 15 minutes and will do what it takes to get “noticed.”

Coming attractions show more Danielle fights, Jacqueline and Dina turning against her, Caroline giving long speeches, yelling, confrontations and a gun. Yes, you can’t have a New Jersey storyline without a gun. Something had to top the table turn, right?


May 5, 2010 Posted by | Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reality TV, RHNJ | | Comments Off on RHNJ: Season 2, Episode 1

Top 10 Reasons Kate Gosselin’s book bombed

This is hysterical!!


May 4, 2010 Posted by | Reality TV | | Comments Off on Top 10 Reasons Kate Gosselin’s book bombed

RHNY: Great Recap from

Since we haven’t been recapping RHNY, I thought I’d pass along this brilliant recap by a writer that could probably make the weather channel seem entertaining.



May 2, 2010 Posted by |, Housewives, Humor?, Real Housewives of NY, Reality TV, RHNY | , | Comments Off on RHNY: Great Recap from

Sheeple Magazine Volume 6: Thank you, Jibberjabbers.


May 1, 2010 Posted by | Reality TV, Sheeple Magazine | | Comments Off on Sheeple Magazine Volume 6: Thank you, Jibberjabbers.

Chelsea Handler: 3 books on the NYTimes Best Seller list & a Sex tape?

Chelsea Handler has 3 books on the NYTimes best seller list and Radaronline tried to blackmail her for 1 million dollars. Are these things related? Probably not, but it sure does get me thinking about Chelsea, this situation, blackmail, RadarOnline and the scum that is the tabloid media.

The tape, which was made nearly a decade ago after Chelsea moved to Los Angeles starts out with Chelsea turning on the camera in what appears to be her apartment. During the first part of the tape, Chelsea is fully clothed in her work uniform. She begins by introducing herself by name before going into a stand-up routine before suddenly cutting to Chelsea and her male partner engaging in an explicit sex act.

He indicated that Chelsea would address it on her E! show Wednesday night, and she did. Chelsea, looking very agitated, said she made the tape when she was 23, and added, “I would like to say to, thanks for ruining my surprise Christmas gift to my staff, and number two, it was made as a joke. I put it on an audition tape for a comedy club, because I’m a comedienne, and I’ve been showing it at birthday parties for (expletive) years!”

Hmmm? Agitated? well, RadarOnline, how would you feel if somebody tried to blackmail YOU? She handled this ala David Letterman and faced it head-on. She’s not acting embarrassed or humiliated. She’s owning it, after all, it’s HER tape, not RadarOnline’s tape. They are maggots. confirmed that the tape was sent out to Hollywood agents as a demo tape when Chelsea was looking to secure work. If it was an attempt to get noticed, it worked!

“Chelsea gave this demo tape to a bunch of talent agents and managers hoping to book some gigs,” the source continues. “It was taken so long ago and distributed on old VHS tapes, that I’m sure most people just threw them out because her stand-up was so bad and they didn’t realize she would make it big one day. It’s highly possible that many of the recipients of the tape didn’t even watch past the first couple of minutes and missed the sex tape part altogether.”

What’s the matter, RadarOnline (aka National Enquirer)? Not enough cheating men, drug overdoses, suicides, divorces, bikini shots, deadbeat dads, egotistical mothers or exploited children to write about? Oh, because she has a successful TV show, 3 best-sellers and probably wouldn’t date you in High School?

Chelsea Handler wrote 3 books. Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang (click here for review) was recently released and has been #3 on the NYTimes best seller list. The other two books,, My Horizontal Life and Are you There Vodka, it’s Me, Chelsea are now re-released in paperback and both of those books are on the paperback best selling list. I know many people don’t like Chelsea and don’t think she’s funny. Personally, I think the “comedians of Chelsea Lately” are funnier than she is but I like her and I “get” her humor and attitude.


May 1, 2010 Posted by | Books, Chelsea Handler, Gossip, Greed, Humor?, JibberJabbers, Reality TV, Sheeple Magazine, TV Drama, Workplace | , , , | Comments Off on Chelsea Handler: 3 books on the NYTimes Best Seller list & a Sex tape?