Chelsea Hanlder vs Angelina Jolie: I’m finally telling Chelsea to STFU
I understand that comedians like to shock and insult their audience. Kathy Griffin recently made fun of 
Bristol Palin’s weight and the audience booed. Comedians have been making fun of other celebrities for decades but Chelsea Handler made it personal with her attack on Angelina Jolie in a recent stand-up performance.
Chelsea Handler went off on Angelina Jolie during a standup performance in New Jersey over the weekend (via Hollywoodlife.com), calling the actress a f**king homewrecker and worse.
“She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to,” Chelsea said. “I don’t f**king believe you … she gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Cause you’re a f**king c**t … you’re a f**king b***h.”
Chelsea is good friends with Jennifer Aniston. The two of them of have talked about going on vodka-fueled manhunts together and were recently snapped together in Cabo over Thanksgiving.
I also read:
Chelsea Handler may be BFFs with Jennifer Aniston now, but that doesn’t mean her recent rant about Angelina Jolie was at Aniston’s behest, according to a statement from Handler. IN fact, Aniston reportedly is displeased with all the “drama.”
Chelsea is friends with Jennifer and by going public with this rant (and a stand-up show is public, everybody has cell phones, ask Michael Richards) she obviously feels very strongly that Angelina stole Brad from Jennifer. Many people feel that way and for some reason Jennifer Anniston has become “poor Jennifer” who can’t find love. She seems to be doing fine. She dated Vince Vaughn and John Meyer. She’s making movies. She’s still quite hot at 40 (I’d kill for her butt).
Whatever her reason, IMO Chelsea betrayed a friend by speaking publicly about a friend’s ex-husband’s partner. I love Chelsea but I’m going to have to give her a big STFU about this one.
Are you there Vodka, it’s me, Chelsea — Becomes an NBC Sitcom!
Chelsea Handler lands an NBC comedy:
Are you ready to see her Horizontal Life on the small screen?
Chelsea Handler is joining her fellow E! late-night host Joel McHale on the peacock network. Wait, Chelsea as Greendale’s new alcoholic professor?! Alas, we can only hope. But still, there’s good news! NBC has picked up the pilot Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, based on Handler’s popular memoirs .
The comedy will pull stories from each of the three books, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands, Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, and focus on the life of a 20-something woman who will closely resemble Handler herself, without having the profession of a comedian/author. Since Handler has already lived the hilarious situations that landed her on the best-sellers list, she’ll be working behind-the-scenes as executive producer, instead of in front of the camera, along with her Borderline Amazing partner Tom Brunelle, and Werner Entertainment’s Werner and Mike Clements. “The show will be mined from my books and allow me the creative control to put a younger actress in the situations I found myself in at 26, while I sit back, laugh, and not get arrested,” said Handler in a statement to EW.
So is Chelsea Handler the Candace Bushnell of the 21st century? (Call it the Carrie Curse, but it seems like any
comedy about a professional single woman will always draw comparisons to Sex and the City). Those of you who’ve read Handler’s books know how rich in Not Suitable For Network TV material they are, so are you bummed at the thought of a possibly watered-down version of her antics? Or, are you the type that doesn’t flinch are the sounded of a dubbed “idiot” instead of you-know-what?
Handler, who has hosted Chelsea Lately since 2006, is currently working on After Lately, a Larry Sanders Show-style comedy based on her job as host of E!’s late night talk show, and was recently cast alongside Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, and Chris Pine in McG’s upcoming film This Means War.
Are we destined for a full-fledged Handler takeover, PopWatchers?
TMZ: 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler — Shot … on a Date
50 Cent and Chelsea Handler went to a bar in New Orleans last night … and by the way they got up close and personal with each other, they gave some serious credibility to those dating rumors.
TMZ has obtained a photo of the two of them at the Blue Nile jazz bar in New Orleans — and one spy inside the joint tells us they were getting very hot and heavy with each other.
Chelsea Handler to host MTV’s Video Music Awards
Chelsea Handler Reveals She’s Hosting 2010 MTV Video Music Awards
For one special evening, Chelsea Handler is bringing her late-night raunch to primetime: Handler will be hosting the MTV Video Music Awards. The comedienne announced the gig on her E! talk show, “Chelsea Lately,” on Wednesday (August 18).
“Everyone knows that when you think of rap music and hip-hop you think of ‘Chelsea Lately.’ And that’s why I will be hosting [the show],” Handler quipped, before urging her staff to vie for the extra tickets MTV gave her. “Let the ass-kissing begin,” the funnywoman smiled.
Handler will work the mic at this year’s awards show, which airs live from Los Angeles on September 12 at 9 p.m. ET. This is the first time the L.A.-based star will host the event where celebs like Lady Gaga, Eminem, Drake, Usher and Katy Perry are up for Moonmen. Among the performers set to hit the stage are Kanye West, B.o.B, Florence and the Machine and Handler’s sometime suitor, Justin Bieber.
The talk-show diva is the latest in a long list of comics to handling host duties at the VMAs. In 1985, Eddie Murphy took the cameras backstage at Radio City Music Hall and surprised guests with an impromptu visit to the ladies room. Arsenio Hall presided over the festivities four years in a row, armed with a collection of Day-Glo suits and a quick wit that sparked the requisite “roo, roo, roo!” chorus from the crowd. Fellow late-night comic Jimmy Fallon kicked-off his 2002 hosting duties with an amped-up musical number. Chris Rock helped MTV turn 20 in 2003, delivering a memorable opening monologue that rivaled the infamous Madonna-Britney Spears-Christina Aguilera smooch. Potty-mouthed Brit Russell Brand flexed his skills on two different coasts; hosting in Hollywood in 2008 and returning the next year to helm the VMA’s 2009 New York City homecoming.
What do you think of Chelsea Handler hosting the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards? Sound off in the comments below!
The 27th annual MTV Video Music Awards will be broadcast live from the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles on September 12 at 9 p.m. ET. Fans can go to VMA.MTV.com (or text VMA to 97979 if they are Verizon subscribers) to vote for the winners from now through September 12.
Chelsea Handler: 3 books on the NYTimes Best Seller list & a Sex tape?
Chelsea Handler has 3 books on the NYTimes best seller list and Radaronline tried to blackmail her for 1 million dollars. Are these things related? Probably not, but it sure does get me thinking about Chelsea, this situation, blackmail, RadarOnline and the scum that is the tabloid media.
The tape, which was made nearly a decade ago after Chelsea moved to Los Angeles starts out with Chelsea turning on the camera in what appears to be her apartment. During the first part of the tape, Chelsea is fully clothed in her work uniform. She begins by introducing herself by name before going into a stand-up routine before suddenly cutting to Chelsea and her male partner engaging in an explicit sex act.
He indicated that Chelsea would address it on her E! show Wednesday night, and she did. Chelsea, looking very agitated, said she made the tape when she was 23, and added, “I would like to say to RadarOnline.com, thanks for ruining my surprise Christmas gift to my staff, and number two, it was made as a joke. I put it on an audition tape for a comedy club, because I’m a comedienne, and I’ve been showing it at birthday parties for (expletive) years!”
Hmmm? Agitated? well, RadarOnline, how would you feel if somebody tried to blackmail YOU? She handled this ala David Letterman and faced it head-on. She’s not acting embarrassed or humiliated. She’s owning it, after all, it’s HER tape, not RadarOnline’s tape. They are maggots.
RadarOnline.com confirmed that the tape was sent out to Hollywood agents as a demo tape when Chelsea was looking to secure work. If it was an attempt to get noticed, it worked!
“Chelsea gave this demo tape to a bunch of talent agents and managers hoping to book some gigs,” the source continues. “It was taken so long ago and distributed on old VHS tapes, that I’m sure most people just threw them out because her stand-up was so bad and they didn’t realize she would make it big one day. It’s highly possible that many of the recipients of the tape didn’t even watch past the first couple of minutes and missed the sex tape part altogether.”
What’s the matter, RadarOnline (aka National Enquirer)? Not enough cheating men, drug overdoses, suicides, divorces, bikini shots, deadbeat dads, egotistical mothers or exploited children to write about? Oh, because she has a successful TV show, 3 best-sellers and probably wouldn’t date you in High School?
Chelsea Handler wrote 3 books. Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang (click here for review) was recently released and has been #3 on the NYTimes be
st seller list. The other two books,, My Horizontal Life and Are you There Vodka, it’s Me, Chelsea are now re-released in paperback and both of those books are on the paperback best 
selling list. I know many people don’t like Chelsea and don’t think she’s funny. Personally, I think the “comedians of Chelsea Lately” are funnier than she is but I like her and I “get” her humor and attitude.
Chelsea Handler comments on Kate Gosselin and Jesse James’ Whore
In what has to be the most hilarious episode of Larry King Live ever, comedian Chelsea Handler’s sharp tongue targets Kate Gosselin and other newsmakers. RadarOnline.com has the video with the best highlights from Thursday night.
The host of E!’s Chelsea Lately said “I don’t like people that are famous because of something like that–because she had a lot of children. She doesn’t seem like the nicest person in the world. And I don’t know what kind of mother that has that many children–I don’t know how many children she’s up to right now–would have time to be on Dancing With The Stars. Because from what I hear, the rehearsals are pretty laborious. It’s like 4-6 hours a day. You have 8 children that’s pretty important.”
Chelsea, who is promoting a new book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang went on to say “I think it’s important to make sure people have their 15 minutes then let them go.’ But Chelsea pointed out, “She’s gotten a lot of minutes.. so hopefully they’re up.”
When asked why she turned down Dancing With The Stars, Chelsea quipped, “I have a job, I didn’t really need to do that!”
Larry King also asked her about her feud with the woman who exposed the Jesse James Cheating Scandal: Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. It started when Chelsea joked on her show: “I guess she doesn’t read magazines, because she basically has one on her face.” McGee was so upset, she took her anger to Facebook, “Use some of that botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin I’ve seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken.”
Chelsea stood up for herself saying ” the show (Chelsea Lately) is silly. I like to poke fun at myself and poke fun at others. So when someone like that makes a comment about me I like to stand up for myself. I’m outspoken and I’m a comedian. So you shouldn’t really say anything to me unless you’re ready to hear it back.”
When asked if she would have McGee on her show. She said “No.”
“it’s like Heidi and Spencer Montag or Pratt whatever their names are.. who i call herpes 1 and herpes 2. i really wouldn’t want them on the show either. I just don’t think it speaks volumes about the kind of person i am. it’s a silly show, but it’s not a gross show.”
And, she couldn’t help weighing in on the Sandra Bullock marriage crisis. She said “It’s like something’s going around,” because of the Tiger Woods and Jesse James scandals. “It’s like people are hornier than ever.”
Chelsea said keeping up with reality shows and celebrity scandals is putting her IQ in question, “You feel like your brain is melting.”
She has her sights on Larry’s CNN job: “So hopefully you’ll retire soon so I can take over a job like this. If I have to talk about Kate Gosselin for one more year, I’ll probably shoot myself in the head.’
Book Review: Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
TheGirlFromTheGhetto (NerdGirlBlogger) wrote this great review:
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler was absolutely fabulous. Hysterical. Pee in your pants funny. Entertaining as hell. My god, I haven’t laughed that hard in all of 2010! The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea will soon be on the top of that list again with her latest book that comes out today. I’ve been a fan of Ms. Handler’s long before she got her television show, Chelsea Lately. I first heard of Chelsea Handler back in CONTINUED
Chelsea Handler and Ted Halbert Break up! Ted taking it hard . . .
Host of Chelsea Lately Chelsea Handler broke up with her partner and boss Ted Harbert after three years. The 34-year-old talk show host kicked Harbert out of their Los Angeles home leaving him to stay at a hotel in Hollywood.
Harbert is the CEO of the Comcast Entertainment Group and oversees E! Entertainment Television, which features Handler‘s late-night talk show. One can only speculate about what this means for Chelsea‘s career and work relations with her ex.
——————–
Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you’re Chelsea Handler and Ted Harbert.
And it’s not just because the president and CEO of the Comcast Entertainment Group is technically Handler’s boss over at E! – the talk-show queen must be regretting that her upcoming book “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang,” which she wrote when they were together, centers on her ex-man.
Which means that Halbert, who may not have aired his grievances as publicly, may have to relive the break up when the tome hits bookstores on March 9.
The funnygirl’s memoir goes as far as to hint that she and Harbert would be together forever.
“I said, p-promise you’ll n-n-never do anything that will make me break up with you,” Chelsea writes of a talk she had with Harbert after she watched the “Sex and the City” movie.
Ted responded: “I would never do that to you. You’ll probably do it to me, but I would never do it to you.”
But there were certainly some early warning signs that Splitsville was just down the road for the power couple.In one chapter of Chelsea’s book, she details her initial struggles over first shacking up with Harbert.
She writes: “My boyfriend is similar to a large toddler … He’s very animated and has a lot of energy and wants to exert it all at the same time on a variety of activities. It’s not a secret this can be incredibly annoying.”
Read more: HERE
Philadelphia Style Magazine — Chelsea Handler Interview
Funny Girl Chelsea Handler cracks up the male-dominated world of late-night TV.
Interview by Peter Proko
Photograph by Timothy White/courtesy of E! Networks.
Styling by Amy Meyer. Hair and makeup by Rachel Bartolotta.
PHILADELPHIA STYLE: You’re originally from New Jersey. How much does your upbringing on the East Coast influence your comedy?
CHELSEA HANDLER: Probably a lot—that, combined with my family. I think the East Coast mentality is a lot different than the West Coast mentality, so when you get to live in one of those places and then move to the other, that’s when your comedy really comes alive. You see the contrast.
PS: Did your formative teen years involve trips down the Shore and dreams of Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi?
CH: Funnily enough they did not. My parents were lucky enough to have a house on Martha’s Vineyard, so I went there every summer since I was born. By the time I was a teenager, I was begging them, “Please, all my friends are going to the Jersey Shore, I want to go to the Shore, screw the Vineyard.”
My parents were like, “You don’t even know what you’re talking about; you don’t want to go to the Jersey Shore when you can go to Martha’s Vineyard.” I was like, “Yes, I do!”
So I didn’t go to the Jersey Shore for the first time until I was 18 years old. I had a boyfriend who had a summer house down there, so I spent a fair amount of time [down the Shore]. I pretty much made up for all the summers of not being there in one summer, which I may still be recovering from.
PS: You’re a stand-up comedian, an author, a TV host and writer. How challenging is it to balance all your endeavors?
CH: It’s fun. It’s really busy right now. I’m just trying to finish up what is hopefully my last book—I don’t think I’ll ever write another book again. I didn’t have to write the others while I had a full-time job, so the combination of the two isn’t pretty. I spend every free moment I have writing.
They need to be compartmentalized and I am generally a really lazy person, so this has been a real shot in the ass. I mean I work a lot, but I don’t consider myself to be someone who works really hard. I’m definitely working harder than I would like to be if I had planned my life out a little more strategically.
PS: You’re known for blasting celebs on Chelsea Lately. Have you ever run into someone in person and had your on-screen commentary present an awkward situation in real life?
CH: I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid [that] they don’t even know I’m saying bad things about them. I’ve run into Paris Hilton and she’s like, “Oh, I love your show.” And I’m like, “You can’t love my show if you can hear.”
PS: Who is the easiest target these days?
CH: There are always the easy targets like the Lindsays and Britneys; Britney has sort of kept a lower profile. But you know there’s people like Jon Gosselin and whatever his name is or, I’m sorry, her name. I get confused about which one is the girl.
It gets boring after a while and you want to take a break. I stopped talking about Heidi [Montag] and Spencer [Pratt] because I don’t want them to be talked about because they like it too much.
Denise Richards was a good target for a while, but that got old. The Kardashians—there seems to be a real appetite for them, which is unexplainable. (Laughs) It changes all the time, and luckily there are so many losers out there that we stay busy.
PS: Is there a point where you cross the line into just being mean and you want to take back something you’ve said on-air?
CH: The good thing about the show is that it’s live to tape, so if there was anything I feel really bad about I can say something when they edit it. But it doesn’t happen a lot. I’m pretty clear about what I want to say and pretty clear that it’s the opinion I have in my head. There are times [the writers and I] will say, That’s too mean, or, That’s too harsh… I don’t want to get on anybody for being fat or a baby for being ugly, because babies have no control over what they look like.
PS: Recently Joan Rivers took a shot at you and said that you weren’t funny. Do you regard her as a pioneer for female comedians, or are you a Joan Rivers hater?
CH: I really don’t think a lot about Joan Rivers. I know she called me to [ask if I would] do her [Comedy Central] roast and I said no because I didn’t feel like it, so maybe she was mad about that. I don’t really know. But she looks great!
PS: Is it rewarding to be the first woman since Joan to enter the late-night TV world?
CH:We’re having a great time! I really don’t think of it as this serious television show. Everyone is like, You are the only woman in late-night, and I guess that’s true, but I think of our show more as junior high, and their shows are high school. Our ratings are great for cable, and we don’t have to take the job so seriously.
It’s a good thing I have going, and I’m very grateful for it and that I get to make money making fun of people. It’s basically like going back to high school, but this time I get to be the popular girl… which wasn’t the case the first time around, so it’s enjoyable.
PS: Your dating life has been the subject of news lately, including reports that you and your boyfriend had split, but just recently you rebuffed those rumors and said you were still together. Do you feel a bit like Jennifer Aniston trying to defend yourself to the tabloids?
CH: I was pretty surprised by that. My boyfriend and I just moved into a new place, so if he’s living in a hotel, someone should tell him. I wouldn’t mind if he stayed in a hotel for a couple of days.
I’m serious—after this remodel, we could use a little break. But no, I’m not sure how that came to fruition. I was very interested in that people were so interested. I guess it makes me feel really supported if I have a real breakup. (Laughs) Obviously I know they will be on my side.
PS: This past year you ranked number 91 on Maxim’s “Hot 100” list. Was it exciting that you ranked two spots ahead of Michelle Obama or a disappointment to finish 10 spots behind Heidi Montag?
CH: I think that the Maxim 100 List is one of the dumbest lists available to mankind, so I don’t really care about being ranked on that. I have more feelings about the transgender community and their goals for the next three days than I do about Maxim magazine.
PS: Your assistant Chuy Bravo has become a star in his own right. How did your relationship come about, and how has it developed now that he has a name of his own?
CH: Chuy is a hot mess; his life is pretty ridiculous. He has more dates and dinners… I saw him driving around the other day with three blondes in the backseat and he pretended like he didn’t know who I was, so things are going fine for him.
PS: What’s your creative approach to writing material, and how do you stay out in front of other female comedians?
CH: The most important thing about being a comic is not to pay attention to what other comics are doing, because I think you could end up mimicking someone by accident, especially with books. I read a ton, but I don’t read any funny books while I’m writing mine because I want it to be different and independent from anything that’s out there.
I think if you are trying to be ahead of the curve, you miss by a long shot. You just have to be who you are and say what you feel and what comes naturally, because if you are faking your point of view, people can smell that from a mile away. So my big thing [is to] just be truthful to how I feel even when I like someone. If you hate people all the time, that’s not really funny, either.
PS: If you could set up your dream roundtable for the show, who would be on it and why?
CH: Well, David Hasselhoff, for obvious reasons. Probably Paula Abdul and someone really loud and obnoxious… maybe John Mayer.
PS: You and John Mayer have been battling a bit lately, haven’t you?
CH: I hear he’s very curious as to why I dislike him, but I explained it to him before, so I don’t know why he’s still questioning it.
PS: How dangerous are celebrities who Twitter?
CH: I don’t Twitter [about] him; he Twitters [about] me. I’ve talked to him in person and told him that he should stick to what he does, and that if I came out with an album it would be really annoying, right? So he should stick to music, not [try his hand at] comedy.
PS: If you weren’t a comedian, how would the world know Chelsea Handler?
CH: I’d probably be laying tiles somewhere on one of the Greek islands, so I don’t think people would know me, because I’d have a mustache and look like a hairy old Greek man. Which is basically what I want to come back as in my next life.
PS: What’s one of the strangest compliments or requests you’ve received from a fan?
CH: I financed someone’s teeth once. I was making fun of people’s teeth and I got this letter from this woman who said some people can’t afford to pay for their own teeth. So I told her to send me her teeth; that means you have none and I’ll totally help you buy some. And so I did, and she kept calling back and wanting more money and more money and it ended up costing me, like, $25,000. I was like, “Listen, if you don’t have your teeth in by $25,000, I’m sorry, I really can’t help you anymore because I feel like I went above and beyond.”
PS: If you could describe your life right now in five words, what would you say?
CH: My life is pretty fantastic
Chelsea Handler in Playboy!
Sneak Peek
Today 1:52 PM PDT by Chelsea Handler
The December issue of Playboy is soon to be released. I mention this because I’m on the cover. I’m also elsewhere in the magazine so if you were going to judge the magazine by its cover, go right ahead. I didn’t eat anything but grapefruit and turkey for a few weeks to prepare for the shoot, so feel free to compliment me if you think you see a rib sticking out. I brought a few of the perverts that work for me along for the shoot. They shot a “Holiday Christmas Party” scene and those guys were more than happy to hang out and look at the other women’s boobs while Chuy and I worked hard on perfecting our poses. I can’t give away what you will and won’t see, although some of what you won’t see I have definitely given away. Think of it as my Christmas gift to the world…even though I’m Jewish and not a big fan of the world. Anyway, I hope you buy a copy, show it to your friends who are 18 and over, and don’t ask me about airbrushing. L’Shanah Tovah.H
my Snark 