by Stacy Conradt – May 6, 2010 – 5:44 PM
With Mother’s Day coming up in a few days, I thought we’d take some time to recognize a very particular breed of mom: the stage mom. Not all stage moms are bad, of course – some are just looking out for the welfare and well-being of their children. But others… not so much. Here are 10 Hollywood moms who were (or are) quite entrenched in their children’s careers, either for the better or the worse.
1. Jaid Barrymore. An aspiring actress herself, Jaid had Drew auditioning for commercials before she was even a year old. She landed her first gig at 11 months (a dog food commercial) and made her film debut in 1980 at the age of five. By the time she should have been in junior high, Jaid was out partying and drinking with her tween-age daughter. She later appeared in Playboy just eight months after her daughter.
2. Gertrude Temple had Shirley primed for Hollywood from the womb. It’s said that she desperately wanted her daughter to be in the industry and did everything from the pretty standard (having her listen to music in the womb) to the kind of weird (making her memorize the words to popular songs). And don’t think those famous ringlets happened by accident – every morning, Gertrude carefully styled Shirley’s hair to look like that of a young Mary Pickford, setting it in exactly 56 curls in a lengthy process that took hours.
3. Sara Taylor. Before Elizabeth’s violet eyes took the world by storm, her mother, Sara Viola Warmbrodt Taylor, was attempting to do the same. After having children, Sara never performed again and focused instead on Elizabeth’s career. “I knew there would come a time when she would want to follow in my footsteps,” Sara once said. “I could still hear the applause of that wonderful night when The Fool opened in London at the Apollo Theater and I had stood alone in the middle of the stage and taken a dozen curtain calls while a reputedly staid British audience called, ‘Bravo, bravo, bravo!’”
4. Minnie Marx was probably one of the original “momagers” and went by the name Minnie Palmer so others wouldn’t know her boys’ agent was actually one of their parents. She sounds like she was a pretty good one, though – her family thought very highly of her. Groucho once wrote, “She never got over the habit of working with [her sons], and they never got over the habit of going to her with their troubles, their problems and their joys.”
5. Teri Shields was a notorious stage mom back when Brooke was just coming on to the scene. A September, 1977 New York magazine cover story basically said Teri had sold Brooke into Hollywood slavery, forcing her to do intimate scenes at a young age and spouting off in interviews about Brooke’s breasts and her first period. And you thought your mother was embarrassing!
6. Ruby Dandridge was an aspiring entertainer as well. She devised an act for her two daughters, Dorothy and Vivian, calling them “The Wonder Children.” They toured the U.S. instead of attending school.
7. Carol Connors starred in a couple of dozen porns from 1971 until 1981, which is when she became pregnant with her daughter Thora Birch. She was in the notorious Deep Throat and also appeared on The Gong Show as the “hostess” who introduced host Chuck Barris at the beginning of every show. Carol and her husband, who was also in the adult entertainment business, had Thora audition for commercials from a young age. She appeared in a couple of commercials for Vlasic pickles and Quaker Oats before getting her first steady job at the age of six.
8. Rose Hovick was Gypsy Rose Lee’s mom and practically invented the term “stage mom.” In fact, her antics became quite well known when the musical Gypsy came out and exposed her as the type of woman who would practically slit throats to get her daughters agead in the business.
9. Dina Lohan. I probably don’t need to say much about Dina, really. You probably hear enough about her as it is. But I’m not sure a list of stage moms would be complete without her
10. Ethel Gumm was of the Ruby Dandridge school of thought – if she could get her daughters to be in a successful stage act, it was almost the same as being famous herself. Ethel, a vaudevillian, created a show that involved the whole family, including the Gumm Sisters. One of these sisters was introduced to the act at the age of two and a half; she would later become better known as Judy Garland.
There have been seven divorces that have occurred on The Real Housewives franchise in the five years since its premiere. The most recent casualty of this “divorce curse,” Vicki Gunvalson, blames reality TV for her marital troubles telling CNN recently, “We didn’t have 90 percent of the problems that we have now and I truly believe it is the show.” But can a television show really be at fault, or does it merely shine a spotlight on the cracks that were already present in the foundation of a marriage? Whatever the case, divorce and reality TV have gone hand-in-hand since the very first show in the genre in 1973, when PBS’ An American Family, which featured the breakup of the Loud family.
Bill & Pat Loud
It’s ironic that something as intellectually highbrow as PBS and expensive reels of 16mm film birthed what’s considered by many to be the dregs of our beer-bottle culture: Reality TV. Producer Craig Gilbert’s vision of conducting an anthropological “experiment” is something that’s still debated when discussing the genre today. With the invasion of cameras into people’s lives, are we seeing the worst of humanity or are we seeing how things really are? When the Louds were first approached about the project, they were made to believe that they were chosen because they were the “perfect” American family, which seemed to set the reasoning behind agreeing to being filmed for all reality TV families to come—an inflated sense of self and conceit in their own camera-readiness. But when filming commenced for the Louds, a mirror was held up to their lives without even seeing a single frame of their show. Perhaps it was the meddling of producers or the pointed questions they asked that helped illuminate the problems that the Louds realized they could no longer pretend did not exist. In the middle of the project, Pat filed for divorce and the drama that Gilbert had been hoping to capture on film became, well, a reality. The Louds blamed much of their problems on the series and its editing after the fact (perhaps the only people in history who could rightfully say that they didn’t know what they were signing up for with such a project). The behind-the-scenes story of the Louds’ experience with the project was dramatized for the recent HBO film Cinema Verite, at the end of which the audience learned that Pat and Bill have reconciled and at 84 and 90, respectively, are once again a couple.
Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey
Perhaps because of the cautionary tale that the Louds provided in the early ’70s, reality TV took a break from families for a while to focus on partying twentysomethings (The Real World) and competition-based series (Survivor, Big Brother), but eventually returned its focus on the institution of marriage with MTV’s Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica in 2003. Unlike the Louds, who were vilified, Simpson and Lachey were celebrated way more than they had been in their original careers as pop singers. But after three years of marriage, the couple announced they were divorcing in 2005, just months after the last episode of their show had aired. Simpson doesn’t blame reality TV for their breakup, telling Vanity Fair, “In all honesty, I believe it did not affect our marriage because we enjoyed watching those episodes.” Lachey, however, sees it differently, telling David Letterman, “It was just so invasive that it became a problem.”
Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro
Riding on the coattails of Newlyweds success, MTV aired ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave, a one-season reality show about the famous couple’s preparations for their wedding. Although they broke up less than three years after they were married, the couple agreed on one thing—reality TV was not to blame. Navarro didn’t even consider the show very realistic “because you’re not gonna be real with an eight-man crew in your house,” adding that “It’s the most realistic portrayal of…life with eight guys with cameras around.”
Shanna Moakler & Travis Barker
Desperate for more married couples, MTV recruited Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and former beauty queen Shanna Moakler. The two seasons of their show Meet the Barkers chronicled their wedding and the birth of their second child. Barker filed for divorce just months after the final episode of their show had aired. But even though Meet the Barkers was no longer on the air, their relationship was still very much a show. Moakler infamously hosted a divorce party, featuring a tiered cake with a murdered, mohawked groom. The couple were then very publicly off-again-on-again for a few years until they finally divorced for good in 2008.
Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown
When America’s sweetheart first married R&B’s bad boy many thought it would never work. But oddly, it did—for the 14 years before they decided to open up their lives to Bravo cameras for Being Bobby Brown in 2005. In just 11 short episodes, viewers were given a very rare look into the private lives of the famous couple, and most were shocked at what they saw. Rumors had swirled about Houston’s drug addiction for years, particularly after her infamous 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer, but the reality show highlighted the couple’s loving, yet erratic behavior. Just months after the series finale, Houston checked herself into rehab and reportedly stayed separated from Brown until she had a divorce fast-tracked one year later.
Linda Thompson & David Foster
Years before they were ever on The Hills, Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt starred in the Fox reality show The Princes of Malibu, which followed the lives of Jenner and his brother as the spoiled sons of former beauty queen Linda Thompson. The premise of the show was that Thompson’s babying of her sons caused tension in her marriage to songwriter David Foster. That tension must have been very real because Thompson filed for divorce the same month that the show premiered, causing Fox to cancel the series after airing only two episodes.
Kathy Griffin & Matt Moline
Griffin and Moline’s marriage seemed strong on My Life on the D List, but evidently, there were problems bubbling beneath the surface that caused the couple to break up after the first season of her reality show. However, they reconciled briefly and Moline was filmed for the show’s second season, but the couple divorced in May 2006, several months before Moline’s last episode aired.
Danny & Gretchen Bonaduce
If there was ever a reality show “train wreck” it was VH1’s Breaking Bonaduce. During filming, Danny fell off the wagon and began openly drinking and taking steroids. He and his wife Gretchen allowed cameras to film their couples counseling. The first episode of the second season shows Danny traveling to Mexico to promote the show, where he sees for the first time an episode featuring Gretchen getting a lap dance from a male stripper and he subsequently loses his temper. Gretchen then kicked him out of the house. The couple divorced a year later.
Linda & Hulk Hogan
The Hogans had something very rare among entertainment-industry families—a solid marriage that spanned nearly a quarter of a century. They opened up their lives for the VH1 show Hogan Knows Best in 2005 and in just two short years their 17-year-old son Nick was indicted as an adult on four criminal charges and sentenced to eight months in jail, a story surfaced in The National Enquirer in which a woman claimed to have had an affair with Hulk while he was filming his show, and Linda filed for divorce (just one month after the final episode of Hulk Knows Best aired). Hulk found out about the filing when a local newspaper called him for a comment.
Missy & Bam Margera
In 2007, Bam Margera threw caution to the wind and featured the planning and ceremony of his marriage to Missy Rothstein on Bam’s Unholy Union, despite MTV’s dismal track record with the relationships of the couples featured on its reality TV programming. In 2009, Bam was hospitalized after a four day drinking binge, which he said was sparked by his marital problems. In 2010, Bam told Howard Stern that, although they are not officially divorced, he and Missy live in separate cities and she is aware of his various girlfriends.
Jenni Pulos & Chris Elwood
Bravo’s Flipping Out is about decorator/house-flipper Jeff Lewis and his staff, who must put up with Lewis’ demanding personality due to his OCD. Two of his assistants—Pulos and Elwood—were married before they began working for Lewis. During the show’s second season, Lewis fired Elwood after a surveillance video revealed that he was shirking his responsibilities and not doing his job properly. Pulos divorced Elwood shortly after, citing the tape as “a factor in their breakup.”
Katie Price & Peter Andre
The marriage of glamor model Katie Price (aka Jordan) and pop singer Peter Andre was a match made in reality TV heaven when they met while filming I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! in 2004. Audiences watched live as the couple fell in love. It was only natural for them that they continue their relationship on television, where they had a kid, got married, and had another kid while filming several one-off reality specials and eventually a series titled Katie & Peter. After three and a half years of marriage, the couple divorced, and while their breakup was not chronicled for television, the aftermath of it was with Price’s new show What Katie Did Next.
Kate & Jon Gosselin
The breakup of the Gosselins’ marriage dominated tabloid covers for a solid year, beginning in April 2009 when it was first reported that Jon was having an affair with a local woman. Perhaps the public was so consumed by the story because, unlike most reality TV couples, Jon and Kate were not famous before their show Jon & Kate Plus 8, a relatively mundane family show which featured the Gosselins raising their children—a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. The Gosselins’ brand, success, and entire reason for being (on television) was because of their family. Watching Jon’s misbehavior—the Ed Hardy shirts, the cigarettes, the late nights, the young women, the bikini parties in Vegas, the purchase of a two-seater car when he has eight children—play out in real-life was fascinating and completely antithetical to what TLC purported him to be. Jon blamed the media for “exploiting” his children in some kind of weird power play to get more money to appear on the reality show. Ultimately, he was kicked off the show and it was renamed Kate Plus 8. For her part, Kate never blamed reality television for any of their problems, but rather Jon, for being a selfish person.
Susie & Corey Feldman
Susie and Corey were married (by officiant MC Hammer) on the season finale of The Surreal Life in 2002. The returned to reality TV in 2007 for The Two Coreys, an A&E show which was originally intended to be a light-hearted account of Corey Haim moving in with the Feldmans, but spiraled into something completely different by the show’s second season, with Haim’s drug problem overt and out of control. Many scenes showed Haim lashing out at Susie Feldman. Corey Feldman refused to continue the project unless Haim got sober. (Sadly, Haim died of a drug overdose in March 2010.) In October 2009, Susie filed for divorce.
Jeana & Matt Keough
The Keoughs have the unfortunate privilege of being the first breakup in The Real Housewives franchise after they legally separated during the third season of The O.C. version of the show. Matt, a former major league baseball player, never liked the cameras and didn’t participate very much on the show. In interview segments, Jeana shared that Matt had a bad head injury that affected this personality, and later admitted that he struggled with alcoholism. In the summer of 2009, Matt was arrested for DUI and was later sentenced to eight months in jail. After the Keoughs’ money problems became public knowledge through the show, Jeana pulled out of the series.
The Count & Countess de Lesseps
The next Housewives couple to split were the de Lesseps, from the New York City cast, which came as a shock to viewers as there were no signs of marital problems. In fact, the Count was barely featured on the show due to the amount he had to travel for work. It turns out that the couple had been living separately for years—he in Europe and she in New York—and that he had been carrying on with an Ethiopian princess, for whom he eventually left his wife.
Tamra & Simon Barney
Although theirs was the third divorce to occur in The Real Housewives universe, the demise of Tamra and Simon’s marriage was the first to actually play out fully on the show. We watched as they suffered from financial trouble, forcing them into a short sale of their home. We watched as Simon became more controlling. We saw Tamra attempt a last-ditch effort to save their relationship by unwisely having his name tattooed on her finger. Eventually, Simon filed for divorce and (along with his children) no longer participates on the show. However, the couple’s drama is still very much playing out in the public eye, as they release statements and contact the press about their alleged bad behavior.
Cat & Charles Ommanney
As part of the ill-fated D.C. cast of The Real Housewives (the first in the franchise to not be picked up for a second season) Cat’s husband had a very impressive job as the award-winning White House photographer for Newsweek. Admittedly, Charles’ job involves a lot of political skill, so it impacted his career negatively when his new wife signed on to a tawdry reality show. Before the first episode even aired, the couple split; Cat’s involvement with the show and association with the Salahis, the infamous White House crashers, negatively impacted Charles’ career. In an interview with The New York Times, Charles blamed the show for the dissolution of his marriage saying, “In a way, I was naïve and foolish to sign off on doing this. But, at the end of the day, it was innocent. I wanted happiness for someone I was in love with. I put all my reservations aside and said: ‘Go for it. Do it if it makes you happy.’ Then I regretted it. I lost touch with everyone, and mix that with my marriage falling apart and the show taking over, it was very sad.”
NeNe & Gregg Leakes
Much of season three of The Real Housewives of Atlanta focused on NeNe’s marital problems that were evidently sparked by her husband’s finances. The split seemed final, though, later in the season when NeNe learned that Gregg had given a radio interview in which he blamed his financial troubles on the amount of money that he had to spend to make NeNe appear wealthy in order to secure her a position on the show. She filed for divorce in June 2010, yet told Essence in December that she and Gregg were still legally together and living under the same roof, but hinted at the fact that they would, in fact, divorce, leading many to believe she was saving the drama for season four of the show.
Camille & Kelsey Grammer
It’s odd to think that Kelsey Grammer, a successful actor, would need or want to be involved with a reality show—particularly one that would expose his marriage, which had reportedly been sexless for many years. It’s also odd that while the show was filming, he would move to a different city and embark on an affair with a younger woman, for whom he eventually left his wife and married. But according to Camille, Kelsey had already emotionally checked out of the marriage, and pushed her into getting involved with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a distraction, saying, “He thought it would be good for me to do something that was separate from us being a couple.”
Vicki & Donn Gunvalson
As the last remaining original cast member of the original incarnation of The Real Housewives, Vicki Gunvalson shocked viewers after she filed for divorce in October 2010. The news came after season five of her show, which showed Vicki and Donn’s relationship healthier than ever after the renewed their wedding vows for their 15th anniversary. Vicki blames the show for her marital problems.
Jennifer & Eric Williams
The problems that plagued the marriage of Jennifer and (former NBA player) Eric Williams—namely Eric’s infidelity and a possible love child—were broadcast on the first two seasons of VH1’s Basketball Wives. After endless talks between the couple of saving their marriage, Jennifer confirmed to Life & Style in February that she was filing for divorce, the drama of which can be expected to play out on the third season of the show, premiering later this month.
Leah Messer & Corey Simms
Messer and Simms have had a crazy two years. They became pregnant with twins after only dating for about six weeks, tried to make it work, but then broke up shortly after the birth of their daughters (one of whom is a special-needs child), all of which was chronicled on their episode of 16 & Pregnant. They reunited on Teen Mom 2, and got married in a camo-themed wedding on the season finale. However, just six months after getting married (and only three weeks after the wedding episode aired on MTV) Messer filed for divorce, making them the youngest reality show couple to break up, as well as being the shortest-lived reality show marriage.
‘Kate Plus 8’ season premiere review: It’s off to a brilliant start… or is it?
Kate Gosselin began the new season of Kate Plus 8 episodes by showing a new side of herself. Charming, witty, and endearing, she managed to overturn a widespread image of herself as petty, mean, and selfish. The new episode took the family-minus-Jon to Australia, where…
Awww, I’m just kiddin’ ya.
Kate Plus 8 was tedious whenever it wasn’t painful. Accompanied by two helpers necessary to aid a mother who chooses to shepherd her children through two airports while wearing spike heels, Kate took the children to Sydney. There, they threw boomerangs, and watched fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Guess what? Cara had a meltdown during the fireworks.
To offset the even poorer image she accrued during her appearance on Sarah Palin’s Alaska, Kate emphasized her new-found adventurousness and good-sportiness. “I had a little redeeming to do,” she said of her Alaska livid-diva turn. “I’m in the mode of challenging myself,” Kate told the camera when she was safely back in her Pennsylvania home. Continue reading
This reviewer said in one paragraph what I tried to say in this entire post:
This late in season three, they’re old hands at it, even if their circumstances have changed repeatedly, but there are still lessons for them – and us – to learn, and “Kafkaesque” is all about that. We open up with a glimpse of how Gus’s distribution network operates. Jesse crunches the numbers and realizes how much more Gus is making than they are from their hard work, and Walt later uses that info, and the revelation of Hank getting the warning call about the Cousins, to try to negotiate a raise from the Chicken Man. Saul gives Jesse a colorful lesson in money laundering with the help of some nail salon supplies, then tries to charge him a higher rate than Walt. And Skyler uses Walt’s meth-cooking adventures as the spine of an elaborate but palatable lie about card-counting that she uses to make Walt pay for Hank’s expensive physical therapies. And Jesse realizes how to skim some meth out of their production without being noticed, and then that he has the perfect new market in his 12-step group.
Click HERE for the rest of Alan Sepinwall’s Review
Commercial for the Los Pollos Hermanos, aka “chicken brothers.” Guy’s restaurants. The commercial voice over is talking about his 2 uncles which makes me think of the cousins and Tio. Also makes me think of hot, spicy, juicy, succulent chicken.
Walt and his large crew are packing up the blue meth for distribution.
Weighing, passing, bagging, storing, hiding the blue meth in the the refried bean containers for the chicken places. I’ll never look at beans the same way. All automated with Los Pollos Hermanos trucks picking up the shipments of meth filled retried bean buckets. Gus supervises with satisfaction.
Jesse weighs the junk and they are over 1.5 lbs. Walt wants to ship it as is but Jessie wants to take it out. “why are you purposely giving them fee meth, These bitches are bleeding us already.”
They argue and Jesse complains about the deal. Jesse isn’t satisfied because he did the math and realized that Gus is making 96 million to their 3 million. “That is messed up, yo.”
“Jesse, you are now a millionaire and you are now complaining. What world do you live in?”
He walks off as Jesse is still yelling.
Hank in hospital with Marie fawning over him and Skylar in the room too. Gomie comes in to visit and Marie allows it.
“His color looks good” Hank calls him closer, all the way to his face and says, “asshole”. Walt Jr. says, “heh, he got you good,.”
He gives Hank info on the blue meth popping up all over the place. Walt is in the room. Skylar is obvious. Hank doesn’t really care that he predicted this. He wants more meds. Marie says, “no shop talk.”
Hank says he didn’t see it coming. he tells Gomie about the warning call before the attack by the cousins. Watl listens intently.
Walt goes to his car looking guilty and sick to his stomach. He knows Gomie news about the blue meth being all over the place is his blue meth. Skylar gets in the car and he says he has nothing to do with it. Sky just wants to know if they are safe. She’s breaking bad . . .
“are you safe.”?? “Absolutely.” She leaves the car and walks back into the hospital.
Jesse is in his 12 step meeting. He shares with the group that he’s working at a laundromat. It’s corporate owned and very strict. They have secrets and the employees don’t know anything. He complains about his boss, the job and the group leader (Jere Burns) says it’s “Kafkaesque””
Marie is opening flowers and get-well gifts for Hank. He doesn’t give a fuck. My allergies are acting up just seeing all the different flowers. Skylar’s boss/lover gives a generous gift, along with time off. Gee, I wonder why.
Doctor comes in to check Hank for feeling in his legs. None. He says he feels a tingle but he can’t rate it. He’s lying. He lies again “6” — I can tell he’s lying and I think the doctor did too. He puts the covers back on and says “looks like some nerve function is returning.”
Doctor explains to Marie alone that they can’t have high expectations. Of course they can’t start physical therapy until the damn insurance papers come through and our accepted. There is an insurance lady there to explain what isn’t covered. It’s all about $$, not Hank’s care. Great example of our health care problems. They want to start therapy now but the health plan won’t allow it because it might not be in the network.
The insurance lady starts talking about the money. “If you don’t follow the insurance companies procedures, they may never pay you back. I’ve seen families go bankrupt.”
Sky is thinking about all the money she and Walt have and continue to make.
Saul getting mani/pedi and Jesse walks in but doesn’t want the pampering. Saul says the nail Salon is “all his” and he’s the new owner. Might have been Walt but Jesse showed up first. He bought it for 312k so Jesse could look legit and have a money laundering establishment. Jesse tries to walk out but Saul calls him back in and mentions IRS. He explains that he needs the “cover” and the nail salon would be the perfect example.
“You want me to by this so I could pay taxes? I’m a criminal, yo.”
Saul says he’ll get 17% and Jesse walks out.
Walt sees the trucks pass him as he’s heading to to Gus’s desert hideaway. He gets out to talk to Gus.
“How is your brother-in-law?”
“Good I’m glad. Walter you seem troubled, How can I help you?”
“I asked to see you in order to clear the air. There are some issues that could cause a misunderstanding between us and I think its in our best interest to lay the cards on the table.”
that’s the best way to do business
“My brother-in-law got a call, I think that same person was protecting me from those 2 men and somehow they were steered away from me and to my brother-in-law. Because of this, I’m alive. And I think this person is playing a much deeper game. He made that phone call because he wanted a SO , in one stroke he blooded both sides, sent the MA gov against, stopped supply, if this man had his own supply, has market to himself. The rewards would be enormous.’ We’re both adults. I can’t pretend I don’t know that person is you. I want there to be no confusion. I know I owe YOU my LIFE. And more than that, I respect the strategy in your position, I wouldC done the same . One issue which troubles me-0– i don’t know what happens when our 3 month contract ends.”
“What would you like to happen?”
You know why I do this, I want security for my family.”
“You have 3 million for 3 months work. Extebded annually, 12 mil a year. Call it 15, open ended. Will that be agreeable?”
Walt drives. He starts speeding, faster faster, flooring it at 90 and going faster and closing his eyes, swerving into the wrong lane, truck walking and he wakes up to swerve in time but he’s out of control and crashes into the road. shaken up. Exhales.
He puts on his turn signal, gets back on the road and drives off.
Jesse again in meeting. Talking about relapse triggers to head off the disease before it comes back. Free license to bitch and moan. Jesse, . . .?? ”
The leader asks Jesse what he would do if he had all the money he needed. He says he’d like to work with his hands. He liked wood working. He explains about a past class project. Other people look bored. Another great monologue by Aaron Paul. “is that the best you can do” is what the teacher asked him because he rushed through it. By ehe end of the semester his 5th box was “insane.” He used special wood, screws, sanded it for days, it was perfect and he was proud of it. He told the group that he gave it to his mom.
No, he traded it for an ounce of weed.
Marie and Skylar talking about the insurance crap. Sky’s lover shows up and she introduces Marie to Ted. Marie thanks him for the gift basket. Marie invites him in and offers him a glass of wine. She decides to leave and take a bath. She must smell; bad because Skylar just suggested the same.
Sky is not happy to see Ted but he wants to talk. He’s acting all needy and whiny, “I haven’t heard from you in days”d She’s explaining that this whole thing iwhth hank is a non-stop horror show. She wants him to go. He gets pushy about being hidden and she starts yelling at him he leaves telling her to take as much time off as she wants.
SP and Jesse talking about the joys of cooking in the RV. Sitting w his druggie buddies have useless talk. He’s pissed about paying taxes and says it’s Kafkaesque and I believe he’s using the term wrong. He wants to start cooking alone again to sell on the street. He claims to have a whole new market. All they need is the Meth.
Walt and Jesse in the lab. Jesse slamming things. asks about th yield 201.8
He’s thinking and if he had a mustache he’d be twirling it.
Coming attractions for next week. Fuck you AMC.
Jesse back in group. New faces don’t want to speak up. Brandon, one of Jesse’s friends, I think he wants them to get clean so they can sell and not be addicts. He talks about his meth addiction and how the new version is on the streets and skinny peat says, “not that blue stuff” and they start talking about the stuff that “lights their whole head on fire” They talk about the same of running out and and that it’s back in town. All the addict ears perk up. Jesse smiles with pleasure. This is low.
Marie threatening to go to the press if Hank doesn’t get the care he needs. He might be in a wc if he doesn’t get ps immediately. Walt offers marei “anything” but he can’t say he has money. Sky says, Walt, we can always [pay their bills”
“We have the money, more than enough” Walt’s starting to panic, “Marie needs to know the truth”
She starts lying about the problems they’ve been having and money. She starts explaining that he’s providing and he paid his own medical bills. Explains he wouldn’t take charity. He’s nervous but I think he trusts she will come up with a story to explain his money. Yep, she praises him and says he came up with a blackjack counting card system. Yeah, like Rain man. Says Walt went to all the casinos and didn’t want his winning to be reported to the IRS. Claims he’s been going to illegal back yard casinos. That’s where he was when he was missing. Leading a double life. Walt is so proud of how wonderful Sky lies. She says that the night he disappeared he lost his pension, savings, etc. Marie scolds him.
Sky says the system got to work and lets just say we have the money, no more gambling
“Uh, well, uh, it’s in the 8 figures”
“oh dear god”
“What can I say, I did very well, Marie, you will take our money and use it to take care of Hank. Please.”
“Marie, let us help.”
“Please don’t tell Walt Jr.”
Marie needs to thing about it.
Walt asks Skylar, “How could you come up with that?”
“I learned from the best. Something tells me Hank is here because of you and I’m not forgetting that.”
Mexican children playing . . . old cell phone ringing (huge). This is the past. Tio is a younger man talking about his “product”, and a deal. |Never trust a South American. They are dirty people.”
Boy says wishes brother was dead. Tio whistles the boy to come over to him and get him a beer. The boy reaches into the tub of ice water and grabs a beer. Tio says, “no, a cold one.” the boy grabs another beer and Tio grabs his head and holds it under the ice cold water.
Tio is drowning boy and saying “you want your brother dead, you’re going to have to tgriv harder. He’s drowing the bay and his brother is fighinting the old man and trying to save his twin brother. He finally slaps his uncle across the face and he finally lets go.
Boy is coughing, scared, they both look at at Tio “Family is All” Both boys are Scared shitless. Yeah, me too.
Twins were reminiscing and lighting candles at the alter of Hank Schrader.
Jesse opens door to his house as Hank pulls up, “You got nothing on me yo . . call my laugher . . .” Hank proceeds to beat the shit out of Jesse. “Who you working with?” Jesse passes out, Hank stops and, I guess, calls the ambulance. He almost looks like he feels guilty but I think he’s just ashamed that he lost his cool. He didn’t get answers.
Police want Hank’s statement.
Saul taking pictures of Jesse at the hospital,. “Get out of Jail Free card.” Saul is gloating about the “pr poop storm” if this story gets out. This beating, “best thing for you . . .” Right? Right.
Walt shows up at hospital. “You are now officially the cute one. Paul, meet Ringo, Ringo . . . Paul.” (Saul, of course).
Walt says he never saw this coming and “what happens now.”
“What happens now? I’ll tell you what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns, is mine. Anyplace he goes, anywhere he turns, I’m gonna be there, grabbing my share. He’ll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana for pennies, and I’ll be standing over him to get my cut. He’ll see me when he wakes up in the morning, and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole’s left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass forever. Until the day he sticks a gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger, just to get me out of his head… That’s what happens next.”
Speechless Walt. Saul doesn’t like that strategy. Trying to convince Jesse to not go after Hank. “Jesse, Move ON with your life” . . . Jesse says he wants a new RV to start cooking again. He says if he gets caught, he will give up the great Heisenberg ! “you’re my free pass, . . . bitch.”
Saul & Walt talking. “There’s no honor among thieves, except us, of course.” ha ha. Wanting Jesse to come around or they’ll have to talk “options.”
Hank is giving his report, explaining the camper, warrant and the fake call about Marie being injured. Went back to salvage yard and RV was gone. His lawyer stops the questioning.
Mr. Pinkman is pressing charges. Jesse is clean and even refusing doctor ordered pain meds. They take pictures of Hank’s hands, for the record.
Hank is packing up for the evening. People are looking at him with pity. Elevator opens with Maria inside and Hank starts bawling like a baby. Elevator opens and they are standing, stoic and serious. Marie is talking him up, “you’ve been too good to them . . .”
Skyler going to Walt’s place as he’s, once again, making his lunch to take to work. She wants to talk to him, he lets her in. Place looks nice, clean, organized and she says, “I guess crime does pay.”
“I don’t suppose you just came by to insult me?” Says Walt.
She asks if he knows about Hank and starts telling Walt about Jesse and the RV. She’s afraid it might lead back to Walt. Why does she whisper,? I have to turn the volume up. She’s complaining that Hank might lose everything and she wants Walt to help him by contacting Pinkman and convince him to drop the charges. He claims they are “not friends”.
“Hank is your family.’ ‘Not currently. I’m late, I have to go.”
Walt goes to lab and Gale “was starting to get worried.” Walt is being curt, sarcastic and Gale is being kissy ass and eager. Walt doesn’t want to like him because he knows he has to fire him soon. Gale says, “you know, this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Walt nods reluctantly.
Twins. Shiny suits at a big truck. The trucker is babbling about a chick and sex and whatever and you know they will kill him in a sec. He’s selling guns, machine guns “well, take a gander . . .”
They won’t be paying. It’s obvious this guy is getting his last words out. “What is it you want, what is it you need, what can I do you for?”
more fast talk. “Vests.” Says a twin. “They work?”
“Yeah, don’t leave home without it.”They shoot him, to see if it works. “you broke my fucking rib you son of a bitch” Twin takes the cash, counts out whatever, and the twins walk away with 2 vests.
“you’re welcome” yells the lucky-to-be-alive gun dealer.
OW. LOUD COMMERCIAL. Had to turn it up for Skylar’s whispering.
Walt and Gale in full meth cooking gear. Walt finds a mistake in something Gale does. He was obviously looking for a reason to have to get mad at Gale so he starts going off on how “this is chemistry, degrees matter.” Walt is bitching and yelling at him like he’s a child.
Pretty Marquetry Sun Rise. Hank in a suit. “you look nice” Damn, Marie whispers too. They are both whispering about what his testimony will be. She’s saying he should say he was attacked with a pipe. “Why should you be the one that pays for doing the right thing?”
Hank says he didn’t do the right thing. He’s supposed to be better than that. “I’ve been . . . unraveling, you know.”
“I don’t sleep at night. I freeze up. My chest gets so tight I can’t breathe, just panic. Ever since that Salamaca thing, Tuco Salmaca . . . . It changed me. Now I can’t seem to control it. I tried to fight it. But then El Paso. And it just got worse. What I did to Pinkman . . . that’s now who I’m supposed to be. That
snot me. All this, everything that’s happening . . . .The universe is trying to tell me something I’m finally ready to listen. I’m not the man I thought I was. I think I’m done as a cop.”
Walt on the phone with Gus and he’s saying that Gale isn’t working out. He says our “first, best option is Jesse Pinkman. Hello??” He explains the “shorthand” and “experience” they have together that he will never have with Gale.
He says, “Mr Fring. When i was hired, I was told the lab was mine and I know how to run it. Yes, I can , I will, Goodbye.”
He goes to hospital to inform Jesse. Jesse suggest a monkey. “I don’t want a monkey, I want you.” Jesse isn’t interested. He explains it’s more than an assistant, partners. 1.5 million dollars – – each.
“I don’t think you heard . . .
“I heard you fine. I said NO.”
“Let me understand this, you’re turning down 1.5 million.
“I’m not turning down the money. I’m turning down YOU. I want nothing to do with you. Ever since I mess you, everything I’ve ever cared about is gone , ruined, turned to shit, gone, ever since I hooked up with the great he,. I’ve never been more alone. I have NOTHING, NO ONE, alright, it’s all gone, GET IT, No? No why. What do you even care? As long as YOU get what you want. cuz you don’t give a shit about me. you said I was no good, I’m nothing. Why would you want me,m huh, You said my math is inferior, right, my cook was garbage, screw you man, screw you” Jesse weeps.
“you’re meth is good, Jesse, as good as mine.” Walt leaves.
Damn, Give Arron Paul an Emmy this season. This young man is a fantastic actor. I think working with Cranston has taught him greatness and he’s leading man material. I see big things in the future of Arron Paul. If I wasn’t typing, I’d probably be crying from that last scene.
Walt pulls up to his home. Phone ringing. “Yeah.” Jesse. “50-50″ Yea, 50-50,”
Jesse closes phone.
These two men love each other.
Jesse looks at his pain chart and sad face.
Hank in court/hearing and he gives a statement. The truth. They suspend him without pay and ask for his badge and gun. “Yes Sir.” and he complies.
Elevator. His boss says that the word is “Pinkman isn’t pressing charges. Maybe yu have a guardian angel”
He gets in elevator. Why doesn’t he take the stairs when he freaks . Nothing. happen. He’s on the phone telling Marie that all is fine. He has for her. He thinks this is okay. Almost relieved.
Phone rings. “Two men are coming to kill you. They are approaching your car. They’re coming” Hank thinks it’s a joke.
Doesn’t get out of the car. He’s getting sketchy and jumpy again. at everybody. Hands shaking. Watching clock. Why doesn’t he get out of the car? He’s a sitting duck.
He’s looking all around and suddenly twin is shooting Hank from the back window. Hank is prepared and floors the car in reverse, crushing twin against the other car. Twin is dying.
His brother approaches him “Finish him,” says the dying creepy twin.
Other twin follows a trail of blood that leads to Hank and twin is going back to car. Twin starts killing bystanders and has to reload, drops shell/clip, hank shoots and shoots at twin but the vest saves him.
Twin shoots Hank a few times and is about to finish him off when he says. “No. Too Easy.” He goes to trunk for his axe, Hank is grabbing bullet and gun as Twin comes with axe, scraping on floor, Hank is trying to load gun, keeps dropping bullet. Twin is standing over Hank with axe in the air. Hank shoots twin point-blank in the head, axe falls to Hank’s side.
Chelsea Handler has 3 books on the NYTimes best seller list and Radaronline tried to blackmail her for 1 million dollars. Are these things related? Probably not, but it sure does get me thinking about Chelsea, this situation, blackmail, RadarOnline and the scum that is the tabloid media.
The tape, which was made nearly a decade ago after Chelsea moved to Los Angeles starts out with Chelsea turning on the camera in what appears to be her apartment. During the first part of the tape, Chelsea is fully clothed in her work uniform. She begins by introducing herself by name before going into a stand-up routine before suddenly cutting to Chelsea and her male partner engaging in an explicit sex act.
He indicated that Chelsea would address it on her E! show Wednesday night, and she did. Chelsea, looking very agitated, said she made the tape when she was 23, and added, “I would like to say to RadarOnline.com, thanks for ruining my surprise Christmas gift to my staff, and number two, it was made as a joke. I put it on an audition tape for a comedy club, because I’m a comedienne, and I’ve been showing it at birthday parties for (expletive) years!”
Hmmm? Agitated? well, RadarOnline, how would you feel if somebody tried to blackmail YOU? She handled this ala David Letterman and faced it head-on. She’s not acting embarrassed or humiliated. She’s owning it, after all, it’s HER tape, not RadarOnline’s tape. They are maggots.
RadarOnline.com confirmed that the tape was sent out to Hollywood agents as a demo tape when Chelsea was looking to secure work. If it was an attempt to get noticed, it worked!
“Chelsea gave this demo tape to a bunch of talent agents and managers hoping to book some gigs,” the source continues. “It was taken so long ago and distributed on old VHS tapes, that I’m sure most people just threw them out because her stand-up was so bad and they didn’t realize she would make it big one day. It’s highly possible that many of the recipients of the tape didn’t even watch past the first couple of minutes and missed the sex tape part altogether.”
What’s the matter, RadarOnline (aka National Enquirer)? Not enough cheating men, drug overdoses, suicides, divorces, bikini shots, deadbeat dads, egotistical mothers or exploited children to write about? Oh, because she has a successful TV show, 3 best-sellers and probably wouldn’t date you in High School?
Chelsea Handler wrote 3 books. Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang (click here for review) was recently released and has been #3 on the NYTimes best seller list. The other two books,, My Horizontal Life and Are you There Vodka, it’s Me, Chelsea are now re-released in paperback and both of those books are on the paperback best selling list. I know many people don’t like Chelsea and don’t think she’s funny. Personally, I think the “comedians of Chelsea Lately” are funnier than she is but I like her and I “get” her humor and attitude.
Linda Mintle, Ph.D. is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author of 16 books, a national expert on family issues and the psychology of food and weight. She’s an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Eastern Virginia Medical School, a national speaker, writer, and news contributor.
For weeks, American reality TV star Kate Gosselin left her 1.2 million dollar home in Wernersville, Penn., to fly to Los Angeles to rehearse and perform on Dancing with the Stars. She even built a rehearsal space in her basement to practice in between shows. People.com reports that she enjoyed getting advice from former Playboy bunny Pamela Anderson on how to be a single mom. And according to Kate, her children were all for mommy leaving them each week.
Who are we kidding? Show me a single mom with eight children whose priority is to get her body back into shape (Kate’s stated goal) by leaving her children for weeks at time. How do plastic surgeries and makeovers help her children?
“My heart is always in my kitchen, baking and cooking for my kids, and I’ll always be there.”
Really? Can we stop the charade? Dancing with the Stars is much more exciting than being home with eight children baking cookies. I get that, but do not use your children as an excuse to live the high life and hob-nob with the stars. And Kate, it is possible to dictate a contract stating you will do the show if you can have your children with you!
Kate has been bitten by the celebrity bug. She has tasted fame and wealth, and loves the camera. She knows that celebrity is her ticket to making money. Just admit it and we can all move on. Stop pretending to be an everyday mom sacrificing for the children. We are not so naïve as to think that her appearances on Dancing with the Stars have nothing to do with her upcoming book release and new TV show.
Look, I understand the pull of stardom, but let’s consider the impact all of this on the kids. Their lives are on constant display. It’s hard enough for children to go through a divorce without adding absence and celebrity drama to their lives. And what mother thinks that six-year-olds can make decisions about whether or not she should go to Hollywood?
My advice to Kate (and I know she isn’t asking) is be a mom. Stop the madness and get some perspective. Make an appointment with a marital therapist and try to end the contention with Jon that continues to get played out in the press. Create a routine for those kids. Help them adjust to all the changes. Stop asking the multiples what you should do and find another source for parenting advice (not Pamela Anderson). The children need a mom and a dad who are physically, emotionally, and spiritually present, and who can guide them through everything that has happened to them so far. It is not too late to pull back and give them a more normal life, but it will require some tough choices. And hey, now you can bake cookies with kids!
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Check out Dr. Linda Mintle’s book, I Married You, Not Your Family (Siloam Press, 2008). For more articles on marriage and family, www.drlindahelps.com.
According to certain sites, Ellen Ross from Pennsylvania has been dating Jon Gosselin. Their FACEBOOK communication was copied. Of course, neither of these accounts can now be found,