Victoria Jackson says “Progressive is the new word for Communism”
While listening to Stephanie Miller Monday morning, I heard them laughing about the ignorance of Victoria Jackson. Remember her? She was the baby-talking blond on Saturday Night Live a few decades ago. Baby-talk isn’t cute and it doesn’t make you sound smart. In fact, last night on the Daily Show (moment of Zen) they showed the clip of baby-talking Victoria saying, “I listen and learn from Glenn Beck . . . ” —- ’nuff said.
Breaking Bad Season 3, Episode 2 “Caballo sin nombre”
“Horse with no name” is playing while Walt is driving through the desert. Why don’t they give the horse a fucking name? My co-worker and I ask this question whenever we hear this song.
Walt gets pulled over for shattered windshield. Walt explains that his house was near the plane wreckage, flight 515. Points to the cop’s blue ribbon in honor of the crash. Walt starts to argue with the cop. He’s yelling at cop. “Body parts in my yard!” “Pepperspray the man who is expressing his opinion under the first amendment.”
Walt gets thrown in jail. Better call Saul.
Hank and his DEA discussing the exploding truck from last week. Hank thinks it’s high-end cartel work. Hank isn’t aware that these particular criminals are after Walt’s alter ego’. I wasn’t aware either. I was busy last week and Jen had to explain the show.
Jesse driving. Looking sober, clean, and went to his parents home that is now up for sale. See’s his dad. (wearing a blue ribbon for the flight). Awkward conversation. Jesse wants to come buy for dinner sometime, dad says, “yeah, sometime.” This is all too familiar to me. Let’s not go there.
Walt is listening to someone talking about him. They are talking about his cancer. Walt apologizes to the cop and is let free (why is Hank there too? I guess DEA is everywhere).
Walt tells Hank that Skyler is divorcing him. Hank is so empathetic. “it is what it is.” Hank said that she doesn’t want him seeing the kids. Hank doesn’t know the truth.
Saul! “you don’t write, you don’t call?”
He reassures Walt that Skyler won’t go to the police. This would get Hank in trouble, the kids taken away . . . Saul assures Walt that Skyler is bluffing.
Walt is heart broken. He lost his family. Doesn’t really care about the police. Saul 
reminds him that there are other “fish in the sea.” Saul wants Walt and Jesse to “get cooking.”
Walt says, “I can’t be the bad guy.”
Saul sighs. He wants Walt to keep cooking.
Saul calls creepy bald guy about “wife problem.” I know this actor. I think he was on a soap opera. Bald, tough, kinda sexy with very deep voice.
This episode has my full attention. I was very distracted last week. It was a boring episode, right?
Walt Jr. yells at his mom because dad doesn’t pick him up from school anymore.
Hank thinks its all about another woman. His wife thinks it’s more. She’s curioous but Hank knows it’s the same old same old. Horny man. Skylar’s sister thinks it’s something more but her DEA genious husband says no.
More Saul. This man makes me smile whenever he’s on the screen. He’s praising Jesse. Starts telling Jesse that Walt is bailing on the business. He’s trying to talk Jesse into telling Walt to ‘get his head out of his ass.”
Jesse is unpacking cash. Tons of cash. Then he offers Saul a job.
Walt at a pool outside the cheap hotel where he lives. Scoops up band aid (eww) and leaves. That was odd. I’m sure we’ll find out more abut that later. Walt Jr. is in Walt’s apartment. He misses his daddy.
Old folks retirement home. Very old. Shaky lady doing cat puzzle. Here come the “bad guys.” in their shiny suites, slicked back hair, pointy shoes. They go to the Tuco’s uncle. There’s the bell again. Never did one simple sound give me the creeps so deeply.
Old man spelling out things on Ougi board and ringing the bell on correct letters. Bell rings go nuts after the bad guys spell out “W A L T E R W H I T E.” shit.
Last week these same men had an alter with Walt’s picture. He’s their competition. He’s meth is “better’ and he’s hurting their business.
Skylar getting a visit by her boss. He coos over the baby. They have some kind of history and I think he still wants to be with her.
Skylar is like Julia MacNamara. Hate the character. hate the actress.
“What if your kids found out?” her boss is fixing his books and she’s calling him on it. He said he did it for them, trying to provide. With time they will understand.
How ironic. That’s what Walt says too.
Walt calls Skylar to say that Walt Jr. is at his place. Walt Jr doesn’t understand why his mom is keeping him from his dad. Walt says “she has her reasons” and that’s just how it is for now. Walt Jr. whines. “It’s your house. Everybody is on your side. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Except manufacturing the drug of the devil.
Walt gargles, puts on cologne. He’s going to take Walt Jr home and he’ll see Skylar and maybe she’ll be nice to him. Good luck with that.
Saul is representing Jesse and will purchase his parents home. Cash. Trying to lowball and Jesse’s parents get up to walk out, until Saul mentioned the meth lab in the basement. Fraud, concealing a felony. Fast talking Saul gets the house for half price.
Walt brings Walt Jr. Home. He brought a big ol’ pizza.
Skylar doesn’t want to let him in. She’s making dinner. He’s being cheerful. She’s beeing a bitch. After all, he got dipping sticks!
He tosses the pizza on the roof. Nice shot. Peels his Prius out of the driveway. He’s baaaaad. I always wondered why men did that. Do they think that screeching the tires is a turn on?
Walt sleeping on the floor while Slylar leaves a nasty message about the pizza on the room (how did she see it? was she up there for her morning jog?) She threatens a restraining order. Walt is pissed.
Jesse comes to take hold of his new home. His parents are trying to get rid of him. He shows them the keys and says, “bought the place.”
Creepy bald guy watching Walt jr. and Skylar.Dressed in black, of course. Takes out his “tools” and walks to the house. Pizza on roof. ha ha. Still looks good.
He’s planting a bug or something and walt drives up. Bad guy is messing with wires. Walt’s Key doesn’t fit the door. Tries breaking in windows, patio door, dog door, and the bad guy is around the corner watching him.
Walt gets in through a crawl space. Bad guy leaves. Don’t really know what he did but I’m assuming he planted a bug of some sort. Pointy shoed bad guys in their shiny suits now come to the house. Bald bad guy doesn’t leave, just watches.
They walk in the front door. Funny, it was locked for Walt. They walk slowley cuz they are bad guys and that’s how bad guys walk. Walt is in the shower and he’s singing “hourse with no name.” Give the pony a fucking name.
Shiney suits are looking around the house. Touching things. Bald guy is listening and he calls the guy from the Taco place (head bad guy?) that they met through Saul.
Walking slowly, shiny suits go to the bedroom and sit on the bed waiting for Walt. One is holding a sledge hammer. Walt is still singing “Horse with No Name” and is oblivious to the scary guys sitting on the bed.
Bald bad guy makes a phone call, phone rings in one of the suits. Couldn’t see message. They wait.
Walt is naked.
Men NOT on bed.
but he sees something is different.
Walks out of the bedroom. Episode over.
RHWNY Episode 3 recap by JenD
On this round of Real Housewives of NY, we have fighting, yelling, arguing, feigned innocence, and more.
Bethenny and Jason2.0 waited until the cameras were present to discuss their impending cohabitation and Jason’s pledge to make a commitment. The scene reminded me of scenes with the original Jason where he refused to discuss the relationship or their future. Jason 2.0 was willing to follow the fantasy script that Bethenny laid out for him. I feel a little insulted by the obvious staging.
Why did Bethenny kiss Luann and Kelly at the fashion show? She made sure everyone knew that she had met Lisa Rina (sp?) before. Then she pulled Luann aside to fight during the show? What is her problem? Kelly asked her to stop because she was embarrassing her. That might be the first time I ever agreed with Kelly.
I agree with Luann, Bethenny is venomous and full of anger. Her anger is not justified…unless I have missed something? It does appear that she attacked Luann out of nowhere. Right?
Ramona took her daughter to her first fashion show. I give her credit for making the effort.
Kelly, it’s not polite to ask why you were not invited to someone’s party. I am glad Ramona turned the tables and busted on her for not inviting her to meet Perez Hilton. Then when she decided to dump her daughter and go, she lost some mommy points with me.
Jill….why can’t you move past this Bethenny thing? I am so sick of hearing you talk about it. Can’t you see that Bethenny is not someone who can bond with others? She did not bond with her parents, do you think she can bond with you? Bethenny is all about Bethenny. She needed you last year but now she has Jason. It’s over. Stop listening to the message…or is THAT your new hobby?
Bethenny went to Alex to gain some kind of support. I was a little surprised that Alex piled on because that is normally not her style. She is upset that someone comments on her boy’s behavior. I will give her a pass.
It was kind of nice to see Jill and Kelly trying to find a way to be civil. It was also funny to see them both trying to be nice in the private interviews…..but each landed in some kind of dig anyway. They get two points for effort.
Jill, why are you lying on a couch to get your picture taken with your mother and sister? Do you think you are some kind of diva? Mom did not look happy and sister looked confused. Weird photo shoot…
I am not certain why we needed the scene with Bethenny and Ramona at a bar rehashing everything. Again. Yawn. I did like when Ramona said Jill would “be on me like white rice.”
Ramona, why did you tell Alex that Luann did not want to invite her over? Why do that? Ramona are you losing your mind? I don’t even know who was telling the truth…but it did not matter. It was not appropriate to do that.
Alex, I am so surprised that you confronted Jill at her dinner…and shocked that you cried. Why do you care what these mean ladies say about your kids? Your kids were a little on the wild side in the past. It can’t shock you that people make comments.
Ramona, why do you care when Kelly leaves Jill’s party? Do you really think you should ask someone if they go their breasts redone???? But, at the same time…I wanted to know the answer too. So thank you for being insane and posing the question. Based on Kelly’s response, I am taking it that she DID get them fixed.
Kelly, if you are going to bare your breasts for Playboy, it seems odd that you are pretending to be private about them. Another thing, wearing that stupid fur was a weird idea. You looked like some kind of storm trooper or something.
Ramona, you are bit unstable this season. You might want to get that checked out.
That is more than enough crazy for this week. Signing off.
Jibberjabbers does it again!
Please check out JibberJabbers for more funny satire, chat, commentary and hilarious photoshop creations.
RHWNY Episode 2 Recap & Words from JupiterJen
Bethenny, your “talk” was embarrassing to watch. Cursing and talking crudely doesn’t make you cool. Do you know that there is a difference between people laughing at your jokes and laughing because they are uncomfortable? You manage to drop lower on the class scale in each episode. I fear how low you will go.
Kelly, your interactions with your children are just plain strange. They appear to have no idea who you are. Perhaps you might want to spend some time with them and teach them some manners? Just a thought. If all else fails, frame your Playboy photo and sign it “Love Mom” and maybe one day they will put all the pieces together.
I like how you compared yourself to Bethenny’s PETA shoot and made sure that everyone knows you think you are better than Bethanny. We get it. You also wanted us to know that you were not asked to be photographed for PETA….but only because you wear animal skin and eat lots of meat. Got it. Thanks. And for the record, Yes Kelly, posing for Playboy is still POSING NUDE. Did you really have to go on and on singing your own praises? Yawn. For the life of me, I don’t know how they will make your alien boobs look slightly normal. Photoshop is good, but is it THAT good?
Alex, I admire you for keeping it classy in the midst of this group of crazy. I watched Luann and Jill trying to pump you for dirt on Ramona and you were great. They dissed your kids, AGAIN, and you kept your grace.
Kelly, shut up about Playboy. You interrupted another conversation to bring it up. AGAIN. 40th Anniversary Edition….on the cover….10 page spread… We heard you all 37 times. SHUT UP. Quit bragging…justifying…bragging…just shut UP.
Back to you Alex, I agree with you that the girls are being hypocrites about your nude photos while supporting nut job Kelly in her little debut. Then again, did you catch the private interviews where Jill lets it out that she is actually opposed to it? These women still don’t seem to understand that other people see those interviews.
Jill….I don’t get you this year. You are so interested in what Ramona had to say at her party. …the one you were INVITED TO and decided not to attend. You were not even part of the argument and you decided to join in the drama. A psychic? Jill…sweetie….your life is filmed and people talk about you in the city. Do you think the psychic could do a little research and….well, you get it. As for Bethenny, you are far too smart to not understand what happened. She needed you when she was single. Now she doesn’t need you anymore. You are taking this personally…and I get that….but I don’t get why you are still lingering on it. If she mattered to you then you would have worked a little harder to resolve this with her and accepted this new chapter in her life. I think you are enjoying being the victim and it’s getting a little old.
Back to you Bethenny….you say that you wanted Jason’s party to be about him. Why did you start performing and drawing the attention onto yourself? Jason looks irritated with you quite often. Have you noticed that? You might want to pay attention.
Whoa- Jill, did you really think Mario was going to respond to you scolding him?
Loved the scene where Jill went to Kelly’s padded room…I mean apartment. Finally someone asked about that stupid life-size horse in the room. No answers…. but at least someone pointed the dang thing out. Then Jill made a big deal out of the fact that Kelly is NOT in the 40th anniversary edition of Playboy- which was great. When she started to explain the math Kelly’s eyes glazed over and she was mystified at the display of intellect right there in her kitchen….something that clearly doesn’t happen very often in that room. Kelly responded with several words that did not create any kind of coherent sentence or convey any real information. She needs to adjust her meds or install a C02 monitor.
Bethenny, maybe you should stop going after Kelly every chance you get. It is wasted venom since Kelly is her own worst enemy. Shooting fish in a barrel, it’s just too easy. Just stop.
Jill…there are better places to deal with your issues than at an event with a lot of strangers present. Just saying.
Simon and Alex, I loved the scene in your apartment. You two look better all the time.
Luann, I did not have much to say to you because right now you are kind of lost. You are hanging on to the drama of everyone else. Your own life is a disaster and personally I think you should have taken the season off to regroup with your kids. They did not need cameras present while their parents divorce was being finalized. I guess I lied, I did have something to say.
DrCoolSex is “Dancing with the Stars”
Kate puts on her dancing shoes and gives us the show behind the hype. Comedy Central needs to give these guys their own show already. Jeff Dunham? Tosh 2.0?? NO . . . “Dr. Cool Sex At Nite” sounds like a good program!!!
“Breaking Bad” returns to AMC March 21
(From AMC Website)
NEW TO THE SHOW? Here’s all you need to catch up
Breaking Bad follows protagonist Walter White (Bryan Cranston), a chemistry teacher who lives in New Mexico with his wife (Anna Gunn) and teenage son (RJ Mitte) who has cerebral palsy. White is diagnosed with Stage III cancer and given a prognosis of two years to live. With a new sense of fearlessness, and a desire to secure his family’s financial security, White chooses to enter a dangerous world of drugs and crime, where he ascends to power. The series explores how a fatal diagnosis, such as White’s, releases a typcial man from the daily concerns and constraints of normal society and follows his transformation from mild family man to kingpin of the drug trade.
THE MAIN PLAYERS
Bryan Cranston as
Walter White
Walter White is a high-school chemistry teacher who becomes a meth manufacturer after learning he has cancer.
Aaron Paul as
Jesse Pinkman
Jesse Pinkman is a former student of Walt’s and his meth-making partner.
Anna Gunn as
Syler White
Skyler White is Walter White’s wife, a mother of two and the head bookkeeper at the Beneke Fabricators.
RJ Mitte as
Walter White Jr.
Born with cerebral palsy, Walter White Jr. is Walt and Skyler’s teenage son. He idolizes his dad and his Uncle Hank.
Dean Norris as
Hank Schrader
Hank is Walter’s loud-mouth brother-in-law. He is also a DEA agent.
Betsy Brandt as
Marie Schrader
Marie is Skyler’s sister and the wife of DEA agent Hank Schrader.
Sober House Season 2, Episode 1
First introducing Jen, actress and recovery patient. She’s running the Sober Living house, again.
Day 1 in Sober Living after being in Rebab. They had a week at home first.
Tom Sizemore, broke and addicted. Coping skills are gone.
Heidi Fleiss talking about her first time using crystal meth with a creepy guy.
Jennifer: Sexual and drug sobriety. She will die if she doesn’t maintain sobriety.
Dennis Rodman: Doing it for an experience. That’s basically it.
Tom gets to the house first. Addicted to meth and heroin. Tom was in treatment with Jen 4 years ago. She’s checking bags (with rubber gloves) to make sure Tom isn’t bringing in drugs. She finds a crack pipe.
“I didn’t even know that was there. WOW. That is not cool.”
“Tom is a good actor, addicts lie. Point one. They just lie.”
She drug tests Tom and is hoping he’s drug-free (otherwise he can’t stay in sober house). He’s clean! He’s good to go.
Heidi still haunted by past as Hollywood Madam. She was arrested and sent to prison. After prison, crystal meth. Isolated. She doesn’t like people. Prefers lonliness. Pulls away from others.
Talks about her bad taste in men. Shot of Tom. Why are these two in the same Sober House? THEY HAVE HISTORY!! She filed a domestic abuse charge on. She hates him but here they are again in Dr. Drew’s experiment. TV show is still a TV show.
Tom’s hating Heidi now too. Very ugly words and feelings from both of them. I guess this is for their “recovery.” Live with someone you hate, that’s got to be good for anybody’s sobriety, right?
Jenny Ketcham for porn star Penny Flame is here for sex-addiction. BIG porn star. She wants to quit porn and she did. She’s doing good but she’s now working on being sober, I think.
Kendra Jade, model, former adult film star. She’s married to a rock star and has never been faithful. She loves her husband and doesn’t want to cheat. During Sex rehab she discovered she’s an alcoholic. She says 
goodbye to her husband to move into a house with other addicts to try and get over her addictions to sex and drugs. What better way to stay faithful to her husband than to move away from him and live with other men. Good move.
Mike Starr. Horrible detox from heroin and methodone. Was kicked out of Alice in Chains for too much drugs. After rehab he relapsed, spent 3 days in detox, and now dr. Drew is letting him live in Sober House. He’s been addicted for over 20 years.
Mike and Tom hug. Tom thinks Mike’s hole is deeper. Mike thinks his heroin addiction is harder than anybody else’s addictions.
KeriFuckingAnn. She’s obsessed with sex and was thrown out of Sex Rehab due to her hostile attide and refusa to follow rules. Then, weeks later Drew allowed her into rehab for meth addiction so into Celeb rehab. Once detoxed, they actually made progress. Whoe. Love. B F D
Dr Drew says she “can be difficult,.” ya think>?
Jen has been warned that KeriAnn is “feisty.”
Jen tests her and . . . KeriAnne is positive for Meth.
She denies. Addict behavior. Now she’s asking if she’s with someone who are smoking can she maybe get it 2nd hand . . .
Jen lets it go provided that she doesn’t use a gain and doesn’t threaten anybody elses sobreity. Oh, and she’s cute and makes for good drama but they just wnat to help her. Yeah, that’s it.
Dennis Rodman. EVERBYODY on the planet knows who I am.
Drinking hard. Doesn’t think alcohol would kill him until he has a brain scan and Dennis finally admits to being an alcoholic. he’s refusing to sign treatment contract. because hbe doesn’t want therapy.
House rules. He won’t sign ‘don’t need to’ but Jen says she won’t be intimidated. If you don’t sign you can’t stay. He’s really being an arroganht asshole and won’t look at her and leaves because he won’t sign the paper. He doesn’t want to be locked down. (on the phone probably with his manager). He’s impossible to understand so they have to put camptions ont ht screen.
Jen says, “this is not his world . . . it’s my world.
Bob Forrest and Dre arrive to explain to the “clients” what they could expext from the next phase of treatment.
First meeting, KariAnn doesn’t want to get up. She needs her juice. She starts bitching at Jen and yelling at her demanding RESPECT. She’s demanding not to be looked at and her juice or “then i’m going home.” waaah waah.
Jen wants her out of the hosue. If she can’t follow rules Jen doesn’t want to have to pamper the princess. I don’t blame her but, Jen’s not really the boss. She may “run the house” but we all know she doesn’t decide anything and is just cast in this show because she’s an actress that happens to be in recovery.
Jen won’t get her juice. Everybody laughs about the juice. Drew realizes the difference between her using and being sober. He knocks on the princess’s door and the princess says, “I don’t like Jen, I was nice to her”
Drew says she’s crashing. She’s whining. “You know how I wake up . . . .”
She’s complaining about being yelled at. She says she’s going home because jen is so mean.
Drew is condescending. She’s leaving and drew doesn’t like where she’s at and he wants her to stay. Jen doesn’t care. She’s tougher than Drew.
She’s still bitchin about her juice, not being looked at, and she makes a phone call. Jen doesn’t like her. A T A L L.
beep beeepeidy bbbeeeep beep beeeeep I don’t know what she said but it was bad enough that they beeped whatever profanity laced thing that KeriAnn said to Jen.
“she’s either coming off the drugs or she’s a serious psycho.”
I like Jen, but we already know that.
KeriAnn finally comes down and tells Bob to shut up. Dennis still refusing to sign treatment contract.
Drew welcomes all to sober house saying it’s a “different level of care.”
Explains what sober living is and that he won’t be in the house everyday. Bob talks too, little more realistic than Drew. I like Bob.
Dennis still standing on the side watching the sun go down. He’s too big to physically move, I guess. He finally signs the contract and says, “whatever, not a big deal.” Ok , then why did you make a big deal about it.
Unique and tough group.
This season shows crying, yelling, leaving , positive tests, drew yelling at kendra. Tom fighting with the big guy. Jen yelling at Starr. Heidi yelling. More drinking.
Each day gets less crappier, Harry Sharer!!
I think I needed to hear that . . . . . . . . .
Team Coco News: Conan O’Brien announces live tour dates unexpectedly, tickets sold out everywhere
Get your Conan tickets yet? WHAT?! You better hurry up.
Well, I don’t know about everywhere, but here in Dallas, your chances of seeing Conan O’Brien’s “Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour” are getting slimmer by the minute. How did this happen so unexpectedly? Where is he going to be performing? Did the Comedy Examiner manage to secure two tickets to the show? Find out all of this and more below, my gentle Examiner readers…CLICK HERE FOR MORE
my Snark 