my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

RHNYC-

We start with Bethany and her new security-blanket…I mean boyfriend/baby daddy waiting for Ramona and her hubby to join them. Compliments on R’s new hair lead her to say that her hair was “like Samson and De-lie-th”…I think she meant Delilah. I am not sure what the reference meant since when Samson got his hair cut off he lost his strength. I will just assume that she is not a theologian.

Immediately it’s time to start back-biting Luann. My favorite lines from this scene:

Bethenny (B) “She’s on a rage.”

Ramona (R)” I was verbally raped by them” (Jill and Luann)

B “she lost her husband and grew a penis.”

B “She was in a very attackive mode” (Yes, I know that is not a word. She made it up)

Suddenly Ramona starts complaining about how fast Bethenny is talking…she is complaining to Jason, the boyfriend. These women never learn to keep their comments to themselves. And we love it.

Then they hit the dance floor prompting B to say that “Ramona likes to dance until her cooch falls off”…we can always depend on B to class it up.

Flash to the Hamptons where Luann is now living full time. Rosie, the former maid/nanny came to visit. Luann tells us that now that they are in the Hamptons it’s too far for Rosie to come. For the first time, ROSIE gets a personal interview…..to tell us that Luann is strong. I think. Luann tells us that she is happier since the divorce and the kids are happier too. This is right after she told us that she suspects that her daughter was attempting to sneak out and fell resulting in a broken wrist. Hmmmmmm

She then slips in that her daughter went to the “south of France” to spend time with her father and assures us that he spends a lot of time with them. She also slips in how different things are after 16 years of marriage. I am having trouble understanding what the difference is when her husband was hardly there anyway?

Simon and Alex meet with Romano and her guy for dinner…they snark on Luann and finally Mario calls to sort of apologize for calling her “Countless.”….not really apologize but tell her to come to his little party the following week and “bring it on.”….wow

Then…flash to Jill and Luann visiting at Luann’s house. They talk about the situation and Jill calls Romano on Luann’s phone. With the speaker phone on Ramona declares that Luann is a slut….and goes on to talk about her marital issues. Luanne took it pretty well…leading me to think there might be something to it. I don’t understand how Ramona couldn’t have realized she was on speaker phone….because on the show all calls are on speaker…and she knew that it was Luann’s phone…AND…because you can easily detect when you are on speaker phone. It sounds like you are talking to a tunnel…right?

Next scene: B and her new identity at a bar….he declares his love for her and says he wants to live with her. She bursts into tears and says she can’t believe she has so much that is going well. Even though I could not stand her on the last show I feel my heart softening to her watching her cry over her good fortune. My only question- why did they wait for the cameras to have this conversation?

Flash to Jill and Bobby teaching her kid how to drive….with a dog hopping around the car. Genius.

Labor day..the showdown. Who is coming to Ramona’s?

Scene one: Luann’s house. Jill and Kelly are there. They have chosen a side. Well sort of. Kelly was not invited to Ramona’s. Kelly made a big announcement. She is going to be topless in Playboy. She claims it will be tasteful…and 10 pages? What could they say about Kelly that will take TEN PAGES? I am going to assume that Kelly can’t actually count to 10 and we will see what comes of this. I don’t know why anyone would want to photograph those crazy jacked-up boobs she is sporting.

Scene Two: Ramona’s house. Bethenny is there and Simon and Alex show up soon afterward. B is having some concerns about the logo that Alex designed and her choice not to use it. I am proud of her for realizing this should be addressed. She does make a great effort and Alex says in a PI that she appreciated it but won’t be calling her for a lunch date. I like Alex and I appreciate her down to earth approach to things. She tries hard to do the right thing. In classic Alex she approaches Ramona to tell her that they would be leaving to go visit Luann. Ramona blows a gasket and then asks her not to go. Simon says “sometimes you have to decide which team”….

How OLD are these people?

Alex calls Jill and Luann on speaker phone. They answer on speaker phone. She apologized that they can’t make it and promises it was not a gossip session about them.

Tension tension….seems to be the theme of this season.

March 13, 2010 Posted by | Reality TV | | Comments Off on RHNYC-

HEADLINES . . . .

March 12, 2010 Posted by | Politics | | Comments Off on HEADLINES . . . .

RHWOC REUNION Part 2.

Clips of Lynn walking into doors, seeming spacey, drugged, stupid or just “ditsy”??

Andy asks Lynn, “are you a stoner?”

Vicki, “Nobody is that relaxed all the time.”

They allude to Lynn using pills after plastic surgery. She actually has to say, “I barely took any . . .” Stupid line of questioning.

Vicki and Don. She did change after seeing herself on TV.

Montage of Vicki being a bitch. Why do you have nannies? You don’t work.

I didn’t want to do conflict on the camera” . . . “BRING IT ON” . . . .

Alexis defending texted family. Vicki says, . .. “all through dinner”

beat every body up: I’m not a villain . . . you don’t know me.

Vicki talks with finger quotes saying Alexis is “better” – – Vicki is so jealous of Alexis it’s pathetic. Andy must think the same thing because he asks Vicki if she’s jealous of Alexis. OH, Vicki is “absolutely not jealous of anybody.” Vicki expected respect and Alexis is confident.

:Vicki is a bitch. Alexis said that is all that footage of you being mean to me, none of me saying anything bad about you.”

Vicki said, “because you’re perfect.”

Vicki defending WHO she is.

Q You were actually likable when you were renewing your vows. OF COURSE she counted her diamonds. It’s the biggest ring she ever had!!

Her Love tank is full.

Andy talks about the bad economy affecting the woman. Tamra’s kids cleaning toilets. Lynn’s husband “got creamed” but yet 2 members still got surgery.

Gretchen trying to get her makeup line going. Vicki criticizing that nobody works. Vicki

champagne tastes and a beer budget” Vicki, righteousness. “go to work’ they don’t got it.”

Lynn evicted and totally blindsided. She has HER own company and Frank is working for her. She’s turning a profit and can support her family.

Back to Vicki,
“I’m the only one who works . . . .

They are trying to explain that you don’t need to work in an office to be working. “I work that s why my house isn’t in short sale.” Vicki still giving excuses. Vicki trying to give advice. Tamra will get a job at McDonald.

Vicki likes having money. “Thanks for owning that, “ Andy said.

Tamra? Work.?? Stripping. “back in real estate.”

Jeanna Left after divorce and tired of drama. She gained a bit a weight and is wearing a very tight dress.

Kids are great. Cara works at Pink Taco, she says her boobs are her money makers and straight A’s at UCLA. Shane left for “spring training, Colton went to some “lovely things” for the A’s and Angels. Whatever that means. Matt is still legally her husband, still in and out.

Tamra’s advice. Just give Simon a blow job and everything will be better. (so that’s what Tamra was telling Jeanna_

Q: Vicki and Tamra, do you think you need to apologize Jeanna. Tamra’s mom wants Jeanna to apologize. YOU came from a broken home. Are you white trash. Oh, Tamra is hemming and hawing. She cried about it but she was 27 years old and Jeanna thinks she has “issues,” Tamra’s pissed

Gretchen Snarks . … loudly. I think she might have gotten snot on her shirt.

Andy doesn’t know what to do. This is obviously not going to be solved by commercial so he says thanks to Jeanna and good bye.

Commercial for David’s Bridal, Birth Control monthly ring, .side effects longer than the commercial bla bla bla. Ask your doctor.

MEN joining the stage. They don’t look happy.

No Simon. Jim spoke to Simon. They became friends. Tamra looks upset that Simon’s not there.

Is this the first time I’ve seen this guy talk, ?? Yes. Jim

Q: You are a self centered controlling bastard and every girls worst nightmare.?

Wow. I don’t think he’s THAT bad but he sees that being on a reality show makes you introspective, IF You’re HEALTHY. He changed a diaper.

Isn’t it weirdie? ?/
“no Andy . . .seeing it helps.

He blames his upbringing but needed to be a modern day man, You Andy . . ha ha.

DON, you got HAMMERED last season. LOVE TANK. Don also says it’s good, was assessed, didn’t like where they were going and tried to fix it. They new they needed to reconnect and they did.

Simon attacking Vicki. Don didn’t like it and it affected their friendship. He lost respect. Not friends anymore.

Fred. Q: why let wife and daughter have ps? Are you that financially irresponsible?

Yes, I am. He faked it. He lied. He wants nothing more than to stay married for life. He screwed. thereupon were called “grifters” and he says “it is what it is”

Is he guilty? Yes. He’s taking responsibility but wife and children are 100& innocent.

What did this man do? He seems like he should be in Goodfellas or something. Very shady character.

He’s very evasive and he says “bullshit” to being grifter. If he had something to hide eh would show his face on Nat TV

SLADE. You only started dating Gretchen when she got on tv . Can you understand why people think you are an opportunist?

NO, I had no desire to be on the show. Gretchen had to beg him. Andy starts talking about time line. Not 7 months after Jeff died. Slade claims he made the decision to leave after season 2.

Andy says, “Jo wasn’t here? You didn’t have a choice. No place for you.”

Silence.  Very. Awkward. Silence.

Q about Jo’s music producing, do you talk to Jo, ? No. Is that your MO. No.

He directed music video. Gretchen made sure Jo said it was okay to date.

You told Gretchen you and Laurie never dated.

Laurie said yes, you were hanging out. Never had a date or dinner, spent a night at each others home.

“You didn’t have sex?”

Slade doesn’t want to to say, Gretchen says, “it is what it is” Nobody’s business.

Vicki said, “SHE FELL for Slade. ‘We’ve been together everyday for 2 weeks!’ TO HER it was a relationship.”

Laurie confided in Tamra. He’s a liar, I have voice mails and text messages”

So play them. Now threatening when she was with George.

Yeah Jim. The guy has “game” so what.

Andy says, ‘Why do you bug people? I have thousands of emails”!

Slade doesn’t know. Looks kinda hurt.

Back to 3 housewives, Tamra’s single???ewww. Slade says, “That’s a funny question, though,” — and you could tell he had already considered it.

Commercial. Kelly Ripa pretending to be a housewife doing housework. Yeah, right.

Comcst cable. You suck ABC has no sound and CW is in Spanish.


RHWNY, hoping Jen is writing about it.

Gretchen said her mom cooled on Slade. He adores her parents. Talking about how amazing their relationship is. They spend lots of times with her parents.

Marriage should be a renewable lease. He said something “hes never had” and Vicki totally makes a “face”

Are we going to see a wedding, “you never know?” Hey, . . . .more commercial.

MAZDA. Zoom zoom zoom. Anybody buying a new car these days?

Canada Dry emphasizing the “Ginger” in ginger ale. I once had a roomate that cooked ginger beef. It was the first time I ever really tasted Ginger and I didn’t like it and I still don’t like ginger

Girls ONLY trip to Florida. Shocked that some would not travel without mate. What IS a normal marriage?

Vicki think should should trust your spouses”

Jim and Simon don’t like their wives to travel.

More finger quotes form Vicki.

Alexis with the texts. “Do they not trust each other”??? They don’t travel without each other.

Tamra says “Sounds familiar with such attitude.” Simon doesn’t like that idea. Vicki doesn’t want husbands but they all showed up. Vicki was shocked it turned into a firestorm.

It made it a couples weekend when everybody’s’ not a couple. “the whole “I don’t let my wife travel smacks of possessiveness . ..

Just our philosophy . .. Jim says. Jim says some behavior has not been appropriate and he’s working on changing it.

Tamra didn’t like it. And says you don’t need to travel to cheat. Alexis agrees but doesn’t like to be away from him for that long. She says SHE doesn’t want to be apart. Jim smiles. Don snarls.

Explain reality for lingerie and a bikini is at a swimming pool. L in the bedroom. He sees a difference. She winks at him after interrupting him.

Vicki is Fikki, fake and icki. Talk to slade, not take carap behind everybody’s , He’s being calm and he’s trying to tell her to stop making comments.

She says she doesn’t “want” the camera on her.

Denial.

Denial.

Denial.

Go on the househusband show” — said Vicki.

Gretchen again defending Slade. Don’t say it to the press, say it to him. Even Alexis,”Ask HIM Now”.

Vicki said he’s “whoring me out” What that that me.

She had KNOWLEDGE that he’d call the press when they were out. He denies it.

Slade says that Gretchen is already famous and doesn’t need help. Gretchen said, “I didn’t know there was a 1-800-paparazzi.”

He doesn’t appreciate it.

She denies. He’s saying she’s disrespectful. Vicki is saying that her husband would never do that and someone says, “that’s because nobody talks to your husband!”

Jim to Vickie, you’ve talked about us and you don’t know us. Says Jim. Alexis there too. She’s about too blow. Time out. Cut. Standing up. I’m not doing this.

Commercial.

Vickie, “Cut, I’m not doin’; it.” basically, I’m running away because I can’t control the situation. Oh how I love when “reality” stars can’t control a situation. Don looks scared. He’s afraid of his wife but he loves her and I like him. I may not like her but I’m glad she finally started treating Don with respect.

,

Vicki is blaming everybody and saying they are all taking. Ok. Andy gets her to sit down. Alexis asking her to be accountable and learn a lesson.

Vicki says, “omy gddd” under her breath. She’s says “HELP” to don.

Don says after the dinner party”we have to go to work”

Oh, They were joking, they were rude. What is it. Who’s rude, who’s joking.

Why is all this familiar to me? I don’t have friends like this

Alexis. Vicki crying in the limo for hurting feelings.

Don defends Vicki.

Vicki said she was HUMBLE and had her tail between her legs.

The fake sleeping. Trying to explain it’s rude. Vicki says,
“Everybody’s perfect.” Her usual out.

Cadburry Bunny. Loves those things but they are not the same since they became Hershey’s. ‘Talking pothole. “Kay bye . . ..”

Beautiful Barrymore Covergirl.

Jill and Nene on watch what happens live.

Andy big smiles. “If you had to make up a bumper sticker of your experience what would say?”

Housewives Gone Wild

They can all suck it . . . (Gretchen’s)

Andy asked Vicki, “Do you feel like you’re done with the show?” She gives a long winded speech. The “ganging up me”” she wants to cry. She needs to soul searching  because all the fun is gone.

How she FEELS, no happy. Andy says sorry.

All these great things from this show. We can all agree. She’ gets the last, word

Lady Gaga, I’m a FREE BITCH, (Tamra)

Here’s to 4 skinny bitches. Yippeeee.

March 12, 2010 Posted by | Reality TV | | Comments Off on RHWOC REUNION Part 2.

RHWOC Season 5: Reunion Part 1

Tamra not happy. Andy tells Gretchen she’s “understated.”

Vicki yelling, yelling, yelling, which is why I didn’t watch most of this season. Every time I heard that obnoxious yell I would turn off the show. Andy says, “you are a screamer” she says, “we own it, we’re a screaming family” Good for you. I bet the BRAVO sound guys just love you, Vicki. I know I turned the channel many times during your “screaming” so keep it up . . . you’re the most disliked of the housewives so your “screaming” is working just fine.

Stormy, turbulent ride that was Tamra and Simon’s relationship. Scenes of her being so over dramatic and him being passive-aggressive. He’s controlling or protective? Now she doesn’t like it. They have 3 kids but he doesn’t like how she acts. No couple should do this on tv. It’s personal. NOT entertainment watching a marriage fall apart. I guess BRAVO learned this from TLC. I don’t like watching marriages being destroyed. To me, watching it is participating and I don’t like how “icky” it makes me feel. Seeing them talk to each other so viciously makes me sad for them and for their kids that will someday see the DVDs.

Tamra says it was worse than we saw and “he just wouldn’t stop.” She acts as if “he’d get real mad at me.” Andy asked if the show changed her. — Oh no, It’s just growing. Not the show. Nope, not at all. —

She’s so afraid of “making him mad.”

Now Alexis’s marriage is being compared. Of course, she knows that they are different. Simon was blaming Vicki. Vicki is blameless. Tamra is being Tamra. Oh, now Tamra says Simon changed 5 years ago. Hummmm?? Season 5. She’s saying that 5 years ago she “knew” it wasn’t going to work so she pulled back. Oh, but got pregnant and had to make it work. Whatever. She’s playing pity party big time and I’m not falling for it.

Now she’s acting all happy and free. Vicki says, “Tamra is in a better place . . . someone was telling her she was wrong in everything she did. . . . . bla bl a bla” Vicki, shut the fuck up

Tamra starts crying when she talks about he kids. She’s putting them in therapy next week. Doesn’t this type of stuff always start next week? Yes, all reality TV kids need therapy. Simon charging Tamra with infidelity. She says, no way . .She “talked with an old boyfriend . . .” — haven’t we all.

Gretchen thinks it’s a publicity stunt and that Tamra shouldn’t be “all over the media” talking about it. She said she did the “2 page magazine spread” to get her side out. Set the record straight. She claims she never trashed Simon, except for 5 minutes ago when she was so afraid of “getting him mad.”

Gretchen is right, if you want to keep it private, keep it private.

Q to Gretchen: Tamra is being accused of infidelity, does the phrase ‘Karma is a bitch’ come to mind?

Gretchen’s answer was wishy-washy but basically, yeah, it IS Karma!

Q for Tamra: Do you want a millionaire Prince Charming (like Laurie)? Ummm… stupid question. Who doesn’t? I know straight men who would probably switch teams for the right millionaire Prince Charming. But of course the media whore said she just needs to be happy. Wealth in happiness. Yeah whatever.

Montage of exercising, sweating, obsessing about food, work out more, Lynn needs work out anon. Alexis needs hair and tanning maintenance. Then there is the botox and the spray tans. “My face has fallen and it can’t get up” so Lynn gets plastic surgery, as well as her daughter. So what if they can’t afford where they live!! Oh, but she looks great!

Q to Lynn: Why not tighten the belt instead of face? Yeah, it was a business decision. She’ll try to write it off to her jewelry business. She just said that on National TV, good luck with that write-0ff, Lynn.

Andy asked about finances. She says it changes daily. She acted as if she never knew it was coming or else she never would have had the plastic surgery and spent the money. I wonder how much was paid by Bravo or was traded for free advertising? Either way, Bravo edited this show to portray Lynn as shallow and materialistic (not that she isn’t) but I don’t necessarily believe she spent family money on the face lift. Her husband was too calm and self-blaming. Once again, I don’t like to see into other people’s marriages. It makes me feel like a peeping tom.

Alexis asked about the work she’s had done. Breasts, veneers, nose soon, botox, fillers, lips . . .

Lynn looks scary. Her jaw is very big and looks stiff.

Andy asked if “G-d believes in Plastic surgery?” I love that question because I believe that some plastic surgeries, for instance, cleft lips and palates, are needed for functional purposes, not for cosmetic reasons. I, personally, see nothing wrong with plastic surgery but I can understand how some might think it’s against G-d’s wishes to change what He created.

In Judaism, piercings and tattoos are considered to be “marring the body that G-d gave you” and people with tattoos cannot be buried in Jewish cemeteries because of this reason (except for concentration camp tattoos).

Alexis, The Holy Housewife, “God doesn’t want you to be unhappy, as long as you’re not obsessed with it.” Andy pushes her, “you’re messing with with g-d gave you?”

She didn’t have an answer. Then he asked, “What do the people at your church think?”

“oh, they say . . .what are you thinking? We pray for you. They feel bad for how I get beat up on the show.

“It’s elective,” Says Vicki. Tamra rolls eyes. “laying it on thick . . . contradiction.” Vicki hates Alexis and is trying to start a fight.

Is Alexis a loving wife or a loyal subject? She thinks her life is a fairytale. 7 Kt diamonds. Isn’t hat the only thing a woman needs? Her goal is to be the best wife she could be. Treat him like a KING. Never changed a diaper. He’d take the kid home. Tells her to not talk so loud. Would never let her go away by herself. Vicki called him a “smelly dork.”

Vicki denies saying that about a person. Must have been talking about her feet.

My opinion about Alexis and her husband? If they are happy, who cares? Maybe she’s really stupid so she likes being controlled? Maybe she actually controls him but for TV purposes let’s it look like he ‘wears the pants?’ Vicki wants to criticize because it’s a different dynamic than her marriage. SO WHAT?

Q for Alexis: Is Jim controlling? “If he was, we wouldn’t be married. He’s funny . . . we banter . . . it’s okay . . .”

Andy then went off on a little devil tangent. He mentioned that Tamra told Alexis that “The devil would love to hump 700 cc’s.” Alexis said Tamra has “Diarrhea of the mouth.”

Andy, “The devil loves to hump. He’s the devil. That’s what he does!!” Goofy Andy smile/glare/creepyface.

Lynn says Frank won’t ever cheat because he’s a germaphobe.

More Lynn, claims she’s trying to parent a teen-aged daughter who’s determined to push the boundaries.

All about Alexa. She does whatever she wants. Spoiled brat. Knows she won’t get in trouble and she’ll never gets grounded. Practically dares her parents to set limits but they never do. She drinks in front of them, talks back and does whatever she feels like at the moment. Lynn just gets a dumb look on her face as if she’s clueless that this might be something she should try to control.Gretchen and Lynn yelling and Alexa . . . all tears. Lynn looks odd. Her face looks like it hurts and she looks stoned (imo). Everybody telling her to discipline Alexa. “You can’t beat them anymore, it’s against the law.”

She’s saying there is nothing she can do. Lynn laughs says Alexa is “good” and thinks her kid is playing everybody. She’s “trying” to make Lynn look bad. She’s defensive and says she enforces rules.

Alexis talking on her high horse. Says if her kid ever asked her for a beer she’d put her in the car, drive her home, put her in her room, take away her cell-phone . . . bla bla bla” Lynn says she’ll check back with her when she’s on RRWHO 2020.

Hate to tell you this, Alexis, if your kid wants a beer they will get a beer.

Knows she could get always with it. I”M REALLY STRICT, I am a bitch” Who’s she trying to convince?

Gretchen was showing concern. Ohh, she has a degree in psychology and family development. She heard Alexa say “I’m really depressed, I need to see someone” and she saw that Lynn brushed it off.

Gretchen and Lynn arguing about being the parent of a teenager. Vicki says a degree doesn’t make you an authority”

Gretchen is concerned and she’s hurt that lynn thinks her inentions are off.

Lynn claims she couldn’t do a better job. She’s doing a pretty darn good job!”
okaaaay.

Slade, aka Sloppy Thirds.

Andy, smiley. Lets’s talk about Jeff. Been since Sept’ 08 he died. Gretchen recoreded a song for him. Very over produced. Kinda cute I guess but she’s not a singer. She’s smiling, Alexis singing along. Vicki roling her eyes. Tamra says “beautiful.”

Gretchen and SLADE. Many asked, “is she really going outg with HIM”?

Slade Smiley and Gretchen are so hot for each other. He’s there for her 19 percent. It’s sopweird, “opportunist” “Stepped ihn a pile of Slade”

He is a poser. . . . skipped out on child support . . . serial housewife dating . . .

eww watch out, ewww.

Jo, Laurie . . . bfd. He’s dating woman near his home.

Good answer Gretch. No big deal.Gretchen explains that she bought a Catalog of music rights and now Jo’s music is a part of this. They are trying to say bad things about Slade and she’s saying that it was her business deal, not his. They keep saying, “but he introdueced you to the guy.”

Vicki says they were talking about Slade in the Vatican.

Gretchen snapped back that people always ask her “are Vicki and Tamra really that mean.”

Lynn thinks Slade has a strong hold but is turning her against her friends. Vicki agrees. “She’s so much better, he’s an opportunist, bad dad, is he trying to make you a star?” You are a bitch, Vicki.

Don’t make comments about something you don’t know. At the end of the day he’d the guy I’m inlove with . . . .

Andy says, “Nobody likes him. Negative outpouring on BravoTV and elsewhere.” Gretchen doesn’t care. She’s happy. The woman are trying to CONVINCE her that HE HAD SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE (before he met her and he wasn’t married,). . . . okaay, why is that bad. Because Laurie is a “housewife”??? Gretchen is loving Slade so leave her the fuck alone. Maybe she should start telling all the other “housewives” that their husbands hit on her. Wouldn’t that be a “ratings” grabber?

Next part the men will be on. Are they alll going to trash Slade for “screwing 3 housewives too or will they be patting him on the back and calling him “Tiger?”

I’m not a Slade fan but Gretchen is a big girl and BRAVO obviously likes him so what’s the big deal? Only talentless women could be attention whores?

Vicki questions Slade’s issues with child support, “better not to have kids with him, Gretchen.”

Gretchen calmly replies, “Don’t want to get into that . . .Ask him . . . Yes, I want to have 4 kids with him.”

Vicki slamming Slade more. “He loves to be on TV.” Well duh, don’t all of you reality whores love to be on TV? She really doesn’t like the guy. She keeps going on and on on how he’s an opportunist. “Why is he lying? Ask him that.” Gretchen believes him and that as far as she’s concerned, he hasn’t lied about anything.

Slade told Gretchen that he and Laurie never had a date and were never serious.

Vicki says “Haooo hoo, when you’re having sex is it serious?”

Gretchen didn’t seem to care. Having sex doesn’t always mean “serious relationship” – – does it? She tells Vicki to “confront him.” Vicki says, “he’s not worth it.”

Ha ha, you don’t care, stop talking about it.

Gretchen says “YOU STARTED IT. You always talked had to say something negative.”

Omnipresence. That was Vicki’s final word about Slade.

Gretchen, “DON’T TALK ABOUT HIM!!”

“Next subject . . . . ” says Vicki trying to control the situation and pretend she’s under control . . . scenes from next week show her walking out. Poor Vicki.

Part 2 tomorrow with the men and Jeanna

Quote from Vicki “I’m not a beater upper . . . .”

—————————————

Reunion Spoof



March 11, 2010 Posted by | Couples, Gossip, Greed, Housewives, Reality TV | | Comments Off on RHWOC Season 5: Reunion Part 1

New from Jibber Jabbers

March 11, 2010 Posted by | Advertising, Artwork, Attention WHORE of the YEAR, Gosselin, Gossip, Greed, Humor?, Reality TV | , , | Comments Off on New from Jibber Jabbers

Book Review: Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

TheGirlFromTheGhetto (NerdGirlBlogger) wrote this great review:

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler was absolutely fabulous. Hysterical. Pee in your pants funny. Entertaining as hell. My god, I haven’t laughed that hard in all of 2010! The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea will soon be on the top of that list again with her latest book that comes out today. I’ve been a fan of Ms. Handler’s long before she got her television show, Chelsea Lately. I first heard of Chelsea Handler back in CONTINUED

March 9, 2010 Posted by | Books, Chelsea Handler, Couples, Gossip, Humor?, Workplace | , | Comments Off on Book Review: Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Do you watch the Oscars? UPDATED with my favorite TWEETS

Do you watch the Oscars?

Have you seen any of the nominated movies?

I saw UP and CORALINE. I loved UP and would be thrilled if it actually won for best picture (not a chance) but CORALINE, nominated for Animated Feature Film and was one of the most disturbing pictures I’ve ever seen in my life. I hated it and wanted to walk out but I was with 3 other people.

For some reason, my ABC has no sound in my bedroom so I am unable to watch the Oscars. Yes, I can go kick my kid off of the Wii but I don’t want to watch the Oscars THAT BAD so I will just post some funny tweets as the show goes on.

radioguychris OMG! I love Gabourey Sidibe more and more every time I see her. “If fashion were porn, this dress would be the money shot.” HA!

radioguychris DAMN! Miley Cyrus has no business being anywhere near Hollywood & Highland tonight.

BorowitzReport Miley Cyrus looks like she stepped right out of a MySpace profile

———————

PFTompkins I love Jon Cryer always.

radioguychris DUCKIE!!!!

NerdGirlBlogger Sweet, look at the old 80s stars!

radioguychris WOW. Loved that tribute to John Hughes.

MoRocca When are Ed Asner and Ernest Borgnine going to make a buddy flick?

slackmistress I think Robert Downey Jr shaved so that Judd Nelson couldn’t knock him out and steal his life. #oscarss

—————

PFTompkins Congratulations to Meshach Taylor and Kaye Ballard.

MoRocca That acceptance speech was apartheid all over again!

DougBensonDid white lady just interrupt black dude? And did he interrupt her back? And the orchestra interrupt both of them? What. The. #oscars

MoRoccaThat lady is the Oscars’ Kanye: Imma gonna let you finish but Beyonce had the best documentary short!

———————–

Lizzs_Lockeroom #sotrue #Congrats! “Sometimes you have to forgo what’s popular, to do what’s right.” – Mo’Nique #oscars

DougBenson Wait, politics almost kept Mo’Nique from winning an Oscar? #huh

MMFlint What Monique meant by acad recog perform & not politics is that she refused to do all the silly oscar campaigning they want u to do & won!

CelebStoner Who should stoners root for to win #Oscars? Well, Woody Harrelson already lost, but we’ve still got Jeff Bridges & longshot ‘A Serious Man’

DougBenson There is no truth to the rumor that Keanu Reeves has crop circles in his beard. #oscars

DougBenson Take your time getting to the stage, costume lady, we can’t wait to hear about how you won twice before. Also, nice outfit! #oscars

—–

DougBenson My tits? Oh, they’re here and here. -Charlize Theron

NerdGirlBlogger Loving Charlize’s tit dress. If I wasn’t wearing my pj’s, I’d be able to rip on it a little bit more.

@NancyLeeGrahn: I didnt hear a word charlize said. I couldt stop looking at the cinnabuns attached to her boobs

@JesusNeedsNewPR: Looks like Charlize Theron bought fake flowers at Michaels to cover the places where her boobs are supposed be located. #Oscars

————–

PFTompkins So glad Riff Raff is finally winning an Oscar.

DougBenson That guy who just won gave a short speech because he has to go try to kill Bruce Willis now. He also played the doctor in FUNNY PEOPLE.

DougBenson Oh, shit, the DIE HARD villain won again. You’re safe for now, McClane! #oscars

@ew: Woody Harrelson just joked that his best acting was when Penelope Cruz announced Christoph Waltz as best supporting actor.

@deporitaz: Take a shot everytime Kristen Stewart bites her lip

NerdGirlBlogger I am so sick of Kristen Stewart’s sour puss.

@taylahburrows: Kristen Stewart actually looked like a girl, but she looked incredibly awkward walking in heels. Taylor Lautner looked awesome as usual.

Dominic_Addams Kristin Stewart what the hell is she doing she looks like she doesn’t want to be there!! If you don’t like to be famous get a real job!!!

@maceo87 Kristen Stewart could have cleared that resin out of her lungs backstage, no?

———-

radioguychris Sandra Bullock needs to fire her makeup artist.

MoRocca Sandra Bullock looks like a vampire

@DCdebbie: Forget Miss Confidentiality, Sandra Bullock was in Speed! True talent is not laughing playing alongside Keanu. #Oscars

MoRocca Demi Moore is doing the dead people montage?!?! Because she’ll look the same when she’s 120?

—————————————

NerdGirlBlogger Must there be interpretive dancing?

PFTompkins I love the J. Crew Dancers!

MoRocca Loving the Hurt Locker voguing!

bazecraze Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bathroom Break dancers!

DougBenson The Academy was forced to hire all these dancers as part of Obama’s jobs bill. #oscars

scottknaster This dancing to movie scores thing is horrible. #oscars

jodywatley i think george clooney had a few drinks before #Oscars 🙂

———

MMFlint Editors for Hurt Locker: “We did this with no focus groups or studio notes.” Imagine that, filmmakers allowed to make their own movie!

billmaher The only reason this fucking show is 9 hours long is so they can sell more commercials

———

MoRocca I like Jeff Bridges but he looks like he smells.

NerdGirlBlogger Is it me, or does it appear that Jeff Bridges beard stinks to high hell?

MoRocca And the winner for best Best Actor endorsement speech is Tim Robbins!

PFTompkins Now, who’s the older Bridges brother– Jeff or Todd?

MLBastian Listening to Jeff Bridges‘ speech, I am realizing he wasn’t really acting when he played The Dude. That was just him. Awesome.

MsInformation Bridges was rambling but I really don’t care because he’s Jeff Bridges, for crying out loud. Totally endearing. #oscars

MoRocca Oprah’s going to give EVERYONE an Oscar!!

helloross So glad Oprah looks pretty!!!

1600doctorb I think Oprah just endorsed skipping school.

NerdGirlBlogger F U Oprah!

PFTompkins Hey, everybody! MR. FUN IS HERE!!!!

DougBenson I’m sure what Sean Penn just said made sense to someone, somewhere. #oscars

NerdGirlBlogger I really thought Gabourey Sidibe was going to win it. So ready to puke right now.

billmaher Actors are just the bestest people in thw world! We are so lucky to be sharing the earth with them!! Fuck!!!

March 6, 2010 Posted by | Movies | Comments Off on Do you watch the Oscars? UPDATED with my favorite TWEETS

Chelsea Handler and Ted Halbert Break up! Ted taking it hard . . .

Host of Chelsea Lately Chelsea Handler broke up with her partner and boss Ted Harbert after three years. The 34-year-old talk show host kicked Harbert out of their Los Angeles home leaving him to stay at a hotel in Hollywood.

Harbert is the CEO of the Comcast Entertainment Group and oversees E! Entertainment Television, which features Handler‘s late-night talk show. One can only speculate about what this means for Chelsea‘s career and work relations with her ex.

——————–

Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you’re Chelsea Handler and Ted Harbert.

And it’s not just because the president and CEO of the Comcast Entertainment Group is technically Handler’s boss over at E! – the talk-show queen must be regretting that her upcoming book “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang,” which she wrote when they were together, centers on her ex-man.

Which means that Halbert, who may not have aired his grievances as publicly, may have to relive the break up when the tome hits bookstores on March 9.

The funnygirl’s memoir goes as far as to hint that she and Harbert would be together forever.

“I said, p-promise you’ll n-n-never do anything that will make me break up with you,” Chelsea writes of a talk she had with Harbert after she watched the “Sex and the City” movie.

Ted responded: “I would never do that to you. You’ll probably do it to me, but I would never do it to you.”

But there were certainly some early warning signs that Splitsville was just down the road for the power couple.In one chapter of Chelsea’s book, she details her initial struggles over first shacking up with Harbert.

She writes: “My boyfriend is similar to a large toddler … He’s very animated and has a lot of energy and wants to exert it all at the same time on a variety of activities. It’s not a secret this can be incredibly annoying.”

March 6, 2010 Posted by | Chelsea Handler, Couples, Gossip | | 4 Comments

TVSnark Blog is One Year Old

My first post was on March 6th 2009.

Since JupiterJen is also making posts, I’ve decided to give myself an actual name. I’ll now be “Kippie,” which is the name I’ve been using over at Z’s for a few months. I’m not being a sock-puppet or trying to ‘change my identity’ – –  I just want more of a name. TVSnark is my blog . . .  Kippie is my name.

Hope I didn’t confuse anybody.

March 6, 2010 Posted by | Reality TV | | Comments Off on TVSnark Blog is One Year Old

“Celebrity Rehab 3” Graduation Recap

Three weeks sober. Yippee freaking doo da. They all get up to speak and say, “this place is amazing, I love you all dearly, . . ” bla bla bla and then the other patients get to give “feedback” on that person. Much of this feedback was left on the cutting room floor.

Mike Starr, from Alice in Chains, seems very sincere in his attempt to stay sober. His band member died of a drug overdose and that seems to have had a huge effect on him. I never listened to AIC and couldn’t name one of their songs if my life depended on it.

Heidi realizes she needs people in her life. All she has is her birds and those birds have become the most important things in her life, well, except methamphetamine, of course She said she’ll go months without her phone ringing. I don’t know why I like her but I think she’s not a bad person, just very wounded (and stupid). Her name is notorious and she will never be remembered for anything but being the Hollywood Madam for Charlie Sheen.

Joey, Joey, Joey. Yeah, he’s a future statistic. He claims he will NEVER do drugs around his future kid. Yeah. Mackenzie warned him about his temper. Yeah, that temper is an issue, Joey-boy.

MacKenzie Phillips is inspirational and amazing. Kari Ann told her that she has nothing nice to say because Mac, “let her down” so she wishes her “good luck.” Dr. Drew told Mac she’s a great friend and really cares about people. That’s what I felt about her too.

Tom Sizemore is a mess. When Heidi had to speak at Graduation she slammed him. First she said that (paraphrasing)–looking at him makes her feel better about herself because he’s such a loser and any woman would be gay rather than be with him.–

Her intense hatred of Tom is clear and I think it’s unprofessional to have them in the same facility. Are they going to be living in Sober House together?  No professional center would have former lovers with such a violent and dysfunction history in the same facility. IT JUST ISN’T DONE and I wonder if this isn’t some kind of  false hatred to feign drama and emotions. Heidi seemed to sincerely despise the man and if she’s “acting” – – her future career should be in TV or movies.

Mindy said he could be a big star again and that he’s so handsome.

Dennis is telling him that HE WAS IN HOLLYWOOD. bfd.

Dr. Drew telling Tom he’s going to die and his kids will be touching his gravestone.

Bob gave great words of support and told Tom that after 13 years sober people feel about him the way that Heidi feels about Tom.

Lisa, whoever she is, talks about the wonderful experience but she’s denying any addiction. She thinks it was a “preventative” measure to go to rehab and stated that she hopes she never gets “as bad” as the other patients. Ok. I guess she was there for a career advancement but since I still have no idea who she is, it really didn’t work, did it?

Dennis. Ego. Arrogant. And no way in hell will he say he won’t drink again. It’s his life. Cocaine is his “drug of choice” and I think he’s doomed.

Mindy. Seisure, dislocated shoulder, hair to the side but she remembered Dennis saying “we here for you baby,” when she was in the ambulance. Big heart. She loves him to death.

Dr. Drew. “You are a biological, organic expression of American History . . . ” Oh shut the fuck up Dr. Drew.

Will you go to Sober Living?

KerriAnn says she’ll go to Sober Living. Of course she will, it’s another show.

Mike doesn’t want to go to Sober Living but he will follow Drew’s direction.

Heidi can’t be away from her birds and she’s “cured” but she’ll go.

Mindy “would love to finish the journey” but she has a 3 year old and she has to be with her little boy. She plans on-going care. Good luck.

Joey, Oh, JOEY. “Loved the program, great, I am going to Sober Living . . .  just not right now. Need to be with GF and help her move. I’ll go to a meeting, get a sponsor and work the steps.” Sure you will.

Mackenzie has a stable home, strong support system but she made the choice not to go to Sober living. I think she’ll be better off NOT in another Dr. Drew experiment. She has friends who are clean and sober and I don’t think living with little bitches like Kari Ann is good for anybody’s sobriety.

Tom wants to go home. He wants to go home but he’s not going to. He’s going to Sober Living. Heidi rolls her eyes. I thought he was homeless. What about his wonderful girlfriend?

Lisa, whoever she is, says she’s going to live soberly and go to meetings on her own. Since she’s not an addict . . . she doesn’t have anything to worry about except people knowing who the fuck she is.

Dennis. “I got things I gotta do man.” Hemming, hawing, excuses, kids . . . babbling, they even put captions since he’s hard to understand. “yeah, I guess I’m going to Sober house.”

or  . . . Yes, I’ll do another TV show.

March 6, 2010 Posted by | Celebrity Rehab | Comments Off on “Celebrity Rehab 3” Graduation Recap