I would like to congratulate voice actor Jim Ward for winning this year’s Daytime Emmy Award in the Outstanding Performer in an Animated Program category for his role as Eyemore, The Crusher in Biker Mice From Mars. Ward was up against fellow voice actor Jim Cummings in the category, as well as celebrities Joan Rivers, Vanessa Williams, and Amy Poehler.
Jim Ward is also one of the “mooks” on the Stephanie Miller Show on Air America. It was funny to me that I was listening to him in the car when moments before I heard him on “Fairly Odd Parents” as Chet YaBetcha.
TV Ad Is Gross, But We Smell Money
MSNBC pulled the Aspray ad, but it has found a home on YouTube. (Courtesy Adam Jay Geisinger)
Once upon a time in this great land, there was a roofing contractor. His name was Adam. He lived on Long Island.
It came to pass that Adam had an idea for a personal grooming product (on the way to the gym, natch), and because this is America, where anybody can do anything, Adam begot something so completely and wonderfully absurd that he took to the airwaves to advertise it himself.
And so there came to be Doc Bottoms Aspray, billing itself as the first “All Over” deodorant.
The resulting two-minute infomercial, featuring wildly enthusiastic Adam Jay Geisinger as pitchman, is so cheerfully mortifying, such a big fat spritz over the line of good taste, that it reaches its own level of art. Or something.
It showcases green gases emerging from various body “odor zones,” a construction worker musing that “I got odor in special places,” people spraying their “privates” and Geisinger shouting the unforgettable tag line: “NO BACTERIA, NO STINK!”
Think of a blond and beardless Billy Mays, as directed by Ed Wood.
MSNBC says it aired the ad once a couple of weeks ago, in the television graveyard of 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. The channel pulled the spot immediately.
“The first time it aired was the last time it aired,” says Jeremy Gaines, an MSNBC spokesman, noting the demo the network was given did not match the full ad. (Geisinger counters that the ad aired more than once, and may air yet again. “I pay for it, so I have the logs to prove it.”)
Even by the Wild West standards of infomercial-dom, Doc Bottoms is being greeted with awe.
“I just couldn’t believe it was real,” says Remy Stern, author of “But Wait . . . There’s More!,” a history of the infomercial biz. “I’d put it right up there near the top of the all-time most ridiculous ads.”
And he means the bigs, the Hall of Fame, the Infomercial Unforgettables.
Hallowed icons like “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” The HeadOn commercial, about a topical analgesic you rub on your forehead, though all the ad ever really said was “HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!” over and over and over again until you threw a large rock through the television. And the jaw-dropping ad for the Tiddy Bear, a teddy bear that clips onto seat belts, featuring a saleswoman who appeared to have a monstrous black eye.
Have we mentioned that, in the Doc Bottoms ad, Adam says you can “Aspray your butt”? Did we say that when we asked a Post researcher to help track down the company, she replied, “This is the most degrading thing I’ve ever done for money”?
And here he is, in his first media interview, Adam Jay Geisinger, square jaw, good looks and all, though of course we couldn’t see the good looks because he was talking on the phone.
“How am I doing so far?” he asks, about three questions in. “I gotta admit, I’m a little nervous.”
He’s doing fine. Seems like a nice guy. He’s 38 years old, married to a Wendi Rogers, who was a stalwart on infomercials in the 1990s with beauty products. He’s explaining the genesis of Aspray. He thought of such a product in his truck about two years ago, because, “Frankly, I needed it.”
A contractor who sells roofing, siding and other outdoor building materials, he works up a working man’s sweat during the day. Afterward, he likes to go to the gym, without stopping by home first for a quick shower. The result, he said, was that “the funk was building up.”
“Now, I’m not a dirty person. I’m not someone who doesn’t shower or who has a weird, smelly disease.”
He looked for an antibacterial product that could be sprayed all over the body, didn’t find much, worked with his wife and a “team” that developed a product without alcohol, aerosols or other irritants. It’s designed to stop odors before they start, not just mask them, he says. The product is licensed and everything.
He swears business is fab, never mind those prudes at MSNBC. He slapped it on YouTube, and it’s garnered more than a quarter-million hits in two weeks.
“We’ve created a monster,” he says. “The reaction from the public has been unbelievable.”
According to the product’s Web site, $14.99 plus $7.95 shipping and handling brings you a bottle described as “full size,” plus a pen-shaped “pocket shot” of Aspray.
People are actually buying?
“Absolutely buying,” he says. “We knew there had to be humor to get the message across. It may be controversial, but if it wasn’t, I don’t think you’d be talking to me.”
In the sell-now-or-die direct-marketing business, where only one in 30 products makes money, there’s a reason people make “bottom-feeder” ads like this, says Sam Catanese, president of the Infomercial Monitoring Service Corp., a Philadelphia-based outfit that chronicles the comings and goings of infomercials.
“They work,” he says. “Campy stuff works, goofy stuff works. . . . If it’s like, ‘Uh-oh, oh no they didn’t!’ and it stops you in your tracks, then they’ve gotten your attention.”
That’s key, because the shelf life for these products can be two weeks or less, he says.
“If you keep seeing a goofy ad, it’s because somebody’s buying it.”
Aspray may or may not live on as product. But the ad is history.
Stacy Conradt The Quick 10: Nine Women Who Inspired Beatles Songs (and one song not inspired by a woman)Stacy Conradt – August 25, 2009 – 3:30 PM
I’m going through a serious Fab Four phase at the moment, I think because of the eminent release of The Beatles: Rock Band (09.09.09, people, it’s just around the corner!!). When I was younger I was fanatical, bordering on obsessive, but I think it’s tempered nicely over the years… although it does rear its ugly head every now and then. I’ll forgive them for not having a song about Stacy (not many bands do), but I will admit to being slightly envious of the nine girls below… and the one girl who doesn’t really exist.
1. Prudence of “Dear Prudence” from the White Album is about Mia Farrow’s sister (pictured). The sisters were in India studying under Maharishi Mahesh Yogi at the same time the Beatles were in the late ‘60s, and Prudence was very focused on meditation and stayed in her room alone a lot. This was John’s musical plea to get her to come out and join the group.
2. Lucy of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” from Sgt. Pepper was a real person. The song was not about drugs, as was (and still is) rumored at the time. Years later, when John admitted that other songs were, in fact, about drugs, he maintained that Lucy was based on a drawing his son Julian had done of his classmate, soaring through a bejeweled sky.
3. Sadie, another White Album gal, wasn’t actually a gal at all. “Sexy Sadie” was about Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whom the Beatles had had a falling out with. They were under the impression that the holy man had made a pass at Mia Farrow and other girls studying with him and were convinced that he “made a fool of everyone” who had some to learn from him. Most of the group, including Mia Farrow, later said Maharishi’s actions had been misinterpreted and they were sorry to have doubted him.
4. Martha is another one who wasn’t really a girl – at least, not a human girl, although she was utterly devoted to Paul McCartney. “Martha My Dear” was named for his beloved English Sheepdog. He has since admitted that the title may have borne Martha’s name, but the lyrics were “probably” about his ex-fiancee Jane Asher.
5. Eleanor Rigby, the haunting girl from Revolver, has a couple of different stories. The song was almost “Daisy Hawkins,” but McCartney decided that it didn’t quite flow and began searching for a more suitable name. The Beatles had just starred in Help! with Eleanor Bron, and McCartney later said her name was probably rattling around in his subconscious when he chose Rigby’s identity. The surname part of it came from a shop called Rigby – McCartney said he felt it was a very ordinary name, but rather special all at the same time. He put the two together, and sad Eleanor Rigby was born. However, there’s rumor of an Eleanor Rigby who actually lived in Woolton, England, where John and Paul used to hang out back in the early days. That’s her gravestone in the picture. “It’s possible that I saw it and subconsciously remembered it,” McCartney later said.
6. Pam of Abbey Road’s “Polythene Pam” was a fan from the Cavern Club days, but her name was Pat. By her own admission, she used to tie polythene (Polyethylene, the stuff shopping bags are made of) into knots and eat it. So… that’s weird. But even stranger is John’s later admission that some of the song was based on a girl named Stephanie who was dating poet Royston Ellis in 1963. She liked to dress in polythene for kinky sex purposes, although John said he may have stretched the truth a little bit. “She didn’t wear jackboots and kilts,” he said. “I just sort of elaborated. Perverted sex in a polythene bag. Just looking for something to write about.”
7. “Julia,” on the surface, was about John’s mother who was hit by a car and killed when he was just 17. But it’s also about Yoko Ono, whose first name means “Ocean child” in Japanese. Lennon had a lot of mother (and parent) issues, so it’s not surprising that he tangled up mother and wife all in one song.
8. Rita from “Lovely Rita,” another Sgt. Pepper tune, has no cryptic meaning – it’s really about meter maids. After the song came out, a woman who did actually issue violations said she gave McCartney a ticket when he was parked at Abbey Road Studios. Her name was Meta Davies, and he came out just as she was placing the ticket on his car. According to Davies, he looked at her signature on the ticket and asked if her name was really Meta, apparently finding “Meta” and “meter” to be rather lyrical. But McCartney says nay. “’Wow, that woman gave me a ticket, I’ll write a song about her’ – never happened like that,” he commented. Rather, he said, he was amused by the American term “meter maid” and found that “Rita” rolled off the tongue nicely when coupled with the phrase.
9. Melanie Coe isn’t mentioned by name in Sgt. Pepper’s “She’s Leaving Home,” but she inspired it just the same. Paul had seen a headline in The Daily Mail about a 17-year-old girl who had run away from home, leaving her parents with no clue as to why she had left. She says he got most of the details right, except that she didn’t met “a man from the motor trade,” but a casino worker; she also split in the afternoon and not the morning.
10. “Michelle” from Rubber Soul isn’t really about anyone in particular, and was in fact just a little song Paul messed around with before the Liverpudlian lads were famous. He had been at a party where he felt some art school guys were being pretentious with their French singing and goatees and decided to make up a song to mock them. It included a lot of faux-French and groaning noises. During the Rubber Soul sessions, John asked Paul if he remembered the little faux-French ditty and encouraged him to make it a real song.Share your favorite and tell us why in the comments. And is anyone as pumped as I am about the game?! Have a Q10 request? I’m on Twitter and I’m all ears! Err… all keys. Something.
Real Housewives of Atlanta was very boring last night. However, we were introduced to this awesome photographer and I’m in love. His pictures are worth spending the time to adore. I’m usually not one to look at glamor shots but I couldn’t get enough of this guy last night.
Jennifer Hudson photographed by Derek Blanks.
The beginning of this show had a different feel. Black Sean was trying to save a jumper. He told the guys that he once saved his brother from jumping. He talks to the man but he cannot stop him from taking that fatal leap. He later tells Tommy that his brother kept trying until he did finally kill himself. Sean starts drinking, crying and keeps thinking he sees jumpers on the bridge. He tells Tommy that the reason he has so many problems with Colleen is because of what a crappy father he was drinking and cheating all the time. I’m not sure what happen but the next thing I see, Tommy is hugging him and Sean is telling him that he loves him. It was bromancetastic!
Later in the show, Tommy was very persistant with Miora Kelly’s character. She keeps pushing him away. She doesn’t want a boyfriend, just a boy toy, Damian. She lost her baby and when Tommy shares about Connor she gets all bitchy and says that’s why she doesn’t want a boyfriend. Then he held her while she cried. It was very touching. I think he’s falling for her in a different way than he loves Janet and Sheila. Actually, I don’t think he ever loved Sheila.
Everybody is drinking at the bar. Uncle Teddy’s wife, Ellie (played by the prolific and recognizable Patti D’Arbanville) is doing shots and it is suggested that she slow down. As most drunks who are told to slow down do, she did a few more shots. This is what I don’t understand. She leaves and gets in the car. WTF? Back and forth, her driving and calling Teddy while he’s drinking and laughing with the guys. Back and forth. Very predictable and it ended with her crashing into what looked like a truck. How many shows have ended this way?
METRO VANCOUVER — Fugitive Ryan Jenkins, wanted in the murder of his swimsuit model ex-wife, has been found dead in an apparent suicide inside a motel in Hope.
The accused killer was found hanging inside his room at the Thunderbird Motel, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office.
“Unfortunately this case has an end that nobody would wish for,” said district attorney spokeswoman Farrah Emami.
The district attorney’s office has no intention of charging anybody else with the murder of Jenkins’s ex-wife Jasmine Fiore, Emami said. “Based on the evidence, we believe he was solely responsible.”
Buena Park police will continue to investigate to see if anybody assisted Jenkins after the murder, she added.
RCMP Sgt. Duncan Pound, spokesman for the RCMP’s federal border integrity program, said hotel staff entered the room to check on Jenkins, finding the body.
“At this present time the investigation into the circumstances of his death is continuing, but preliminary evidence suggests he took his own life,” he told a press conference held in Surrey less than an hour ago.
Jenkins’s body was found early Sunday afternoon by Mounties from the Upper Fraser Valley detachment and police were able to confirm its identity just before 5 p.m.
Pound would not say how long Jenkins stayed at the hotel room or how he got there.
“Any further details will not be released at this time as this investigation remains in its infancy,” Pound said.
American authorities and Jenkins’ family have been notified about his death.
Jenkins was charged Aug. 20 in California with murder in the death Jasmine Fiore, whose mutilated body was found stuffed in a suitcase inside a trash bin Aug. 15 in Buena Park, Calif., about 30 kilometres southeast of Los Angeles.
Her fingers and teeth had been removed in an effort to hinder identification. The Orange County coroner used the serial number of her breast implants to make a positive identification.
Fiore, a former model, was last seen alive Thursday night with Jenkins in San Diego. They spent the night at a hotel in the coastal city, but Jenkins left the hotel alone the following morning.
Since his boat was discovered in a marina in Point Roberts, Wash., Wednesday night, there has been speculation by authorities on both sides of the border that Jenkins may have crossed into British Columbia’s Lower Mainland on foot, though so far there is no evidence that he did so. His black BMW SUV and an empty boat trailer were located in Blaine, Wash.
On Saturday, the U. S. Coast Guard issued a statement refuting reports that its vessels had engaged in an aquatic chase with Jenkins as he sped from Blaine to Point Roberts.
Petty officer third class Tara Molle said border protection officials asked the U. S. Coast Guard to help with the search, but a small coast guard response boat did not spot Jenkins’ boat nor engage in a chase. “We did not locate it. It was located (in a marina) by Whatcom County Sheriff’s Office,” Molle said.
With files from Liam Ford and Canwest News Service