The Tooth Fairy made me laugh and cry (Spoilers)

It’s no secret that I think Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the perfect man specimen. I still stand by that opinion. During an early locker room scene, I gasped. They covered up his body tattoos so it was pure ROCK. He is beautiful.

In this silly movie he plays a hockey player known as “The Tooth Fairy” because his hard hits tend to send teeth flying. He’s dating a woman (Ashley Judd) who has two children. The mother wants her kids to believe in dreams and wishes. Darryl tends to be cynical and actually steals the little girls tooth money to win a poker hand.

Julie Andrews plays the “head” fairy and she is perfect in this role. A shoutout to Tracy, played by Stephen Merchant. I never saw this guy before but he was terrific. Very tall, thin, weird looking and a wonderful face full of expression.

Billy Crystal’s one scene stole the show. My kid was elbowing me and theater goers were turning around to look at me laughing my ass off. I’ll see if I can describe the scene and do it justice.

Crystal’s character was giving the new Tooth Fairy all the “tools of the trade.” He gave him a tube if “shrinking goo” and started explaining that he likes to get real tiny and walk in ink. Then he walks all over his wife’s body and when she wakes up she has tiny little black footprints all over her body.

His delivery, which was probably improvised, had me laughing harder than I’ve laughed in a long time. It was as if NOBODY in the theater even knew who Billy Crystal was or why I was laughing. Oh well, I enjoyed that part the most, obviously.

The ending had tears rolling down my face. Yes, it’s a light and silly movie but I enjoyed every minute of it.

Hunky men for Mother’s Day

As a single mother, my mother’s day is pretty uneventful. So, in honor of the holiday I wanted to showcase the men that would be welcome in my life.

Julian McMahon: This is the first hunk that actually made me get on the internet to talk about. I’m a grown woman and this dude makes me weak in the knees.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: This man has the perfect body. Why he messed it up with tattoos I will never understand. I see big things for his future because he’s so entertaining in his movies.

Kevin McKidd: Never heard of him until “Journeyman” and I really liked this show. Of course, it was canceled before anybody could see it. Then this man turns up as McBadAss on “Grey’s Anatomy.” I never got into McDreamy or McSteamy (although, he’s growing on me) but McKidd’s character on this show is great. He’s so passionate with Christine. Hell, if he didn’t almost kill her I think they’d still be together. He adds the testosterone that this show needed. Too much whining . . . time for a true man. Owen is it!

Russell Brand: this man REEKS sex and he’s also smart and funny. I can see why he might disgust some but for me, I find him fascinating.

The Rock dresses as Miley. Wayans asks “Are you wearing a thong?”

Yes. I said it!! My daughter is so hyped about it because “i-Carly” is nominated, as well as “Spongebob.” Hype it the word. Hype everywhere. Every website she goes to, every commercial, every magazine, movie with Dwayne last week. Hype, hype hype.

What do I care about?? I hope neither Chris Brown or Rihannah win anything or are even there. They make me ill.

Pussycat Dolls?? Oh, so damn appropriate for kids.

Dwayne Johnson

. . . is the perfect man. I enjoy him just being there.

Miley-– Daughter dislikes her, phew. I hope she doesn’t win anything. Her ego is big enough. Let’s give Miranda Cosgrove or Selena Gomez a chance.

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iCarly” won for best show. Yippee! Miranda Cosgrove is my daughter’s favorite actress. I think she looks like a young Fran Drescher and has great comic timing.

Dwayne asked Miley if she’s wearing a thong. Oh yes he did!!  He had the home audience pick 3 things he should do, sing opera, knit leg-warmers, or dress like Miley. Of course, my daughter included, everybody wants him to dress like Miley. So he did.

This guy has no problems with his masculinity. None. Anyhow, he did as a 16 year old girl if she was wearing a thong. Oh Dwayne, what were you thinking?? Well, I guess he was thinking “I wonder if she’s wearing a thong?” and the thought went from brain (the one in his pants) to mouth without pause.   ooooops.

SO WHAT!!

Miley lives with her 20 year old underwear model boyfriend. She poses in sexy clothing all the time and acts like a young slut for the camera. To top it off, this show has the Pussycat Dolls perform for CHILDREN!! Sexy ladies, in sexy clothing, singing songs about being sexy for your man. Yeah. Appropriate.

So, Dwayne, good for you!! I’m glad you said it and if Disney stops throwing the big bucks at you feel free to come crash at my apartment. I’ll get us Taco Bell and let you be in charge of the remote control. If that means I have to stop watching “Real Housewives of Anywhere,” hey Dwayne, you are worth it.

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On a second look I see that it is Marlon Wayans who says “are you wearing a thong.” I stand corrected. Thank you to Fran for pointing it out!

Dwayne Johnson Hosts SNL

If there was ever such thing as “the perfect man,” Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson comes pretty close. Years ago I saw him on a talk show and was pleasantly surprised at how intelligent he was. His comic timing is great and back then I said, “This is the sexiest man alive.”

Dwayne Johnson has a new movie coming out, “Race to Witch Mountain” and I’m elated that he is doing family friendly films. He”s also hosting the “Kids’ Choice Awards,” which I will not watch if Chris Brown is nominated for ANYTHING (but that is another post).

I don’t know much about this man’s personal life and I really don’t care.