my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

“RHWNJ” Season 2, Episode 2 “My Daughter’s A STAR!”

Danielle is selling her 21 room home but her ex gets most the money. She complains about him not paying her. It’s a 2 million dollar home listed for less than 1.3. awwww. Dina feels very bad for Danielle. Danielle cries to the Realtor.

Jacqueline and Caroline waiting for Teresa at lunch. The three ladies obviously enjoy each others company. giggling and just having fun. Then Teresa asks if J heard from Danielle and Jacqueline admits to speaking to her. Caroline and Teresa are pissed but J says she doesn’t have a problem. “Peaceful acquaintances” Caroline says that Danielle’s children are lacking light behind the eyes. That is cruel. J is right, that is “crossing the line” but Jac just shakes her head and tells us how she stands up for herself, even though she doesn’t stand up to her sister-in-laws (which I’m glad she doesn’t because she’s wrong about this) . Teresa brings up court documents and the kidnapping, cocaine, and loaded guns. Jacqueline says it was many many years ago. Caroline said “kidnapping” is different than shoplifting or being loose. “you hang around garbage you start to stink.”

Caroline says, “She will never win against us. Never.” What are they talking about? Win what?

Young adults throwing ham. This has something to do with the tweets I saw earlier. Ham Game. “Nothing good about the ham game, nothing fun about the ham game . . .” So, the kids are throwing ham and Caroline gets mad. Sort of. She doesn’t like the ham game.

Albie and Lauren discuss Vito and how “thinking of him holding your hand makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.” ha,

Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley comes home and brings her laundry. More about Ashley needing to grow up. Ashley explains that yes, she can get into clubs even though she’s only 18. J asks questions. Ashley evades and walks away. All mom wants to know is ARE YOU BEING SAFE and they start bickering.  Brat says, “if I wanted to come here and argue with you, I’d just live here.’ Mom says, “Okay, goodbye, and take your laundry with you.”

One of Danielle’s girls just got a modeling offer. All right, what is better than THAT. She’s 13 years old. Send her to Europe! woo hoo. She will become a supermodel because she’s amazing. Danielle said that the pros are ccomparing her to Christy Brinkley . . . . yeah, right . . .

Jillian doesn look thrilled when mommy says, “you’re next. You’ll both be superstars”

Jaqueline and Dina in a baby store shopping for Teresa’s baby. Jacqueline told Dina that Ashley moved out because she didn’t like the rules. Dina asked if she’s ever just given her a “good old fashion Italian beating.” Yeah, she said that.

“I created this monster.” Yeah, Jacqueline said that. I’m having too many shocking moments tonight.

Teresa is bringing Gia to audition as a model in Fashion Week. Gia starts listing all her talents and I was looking for the cue card. She starts getting her “catwalk on” and Teresa loves it. Gia giggles. Gia does a walk and a cut to Danielle saying “Gia doesn’t have it.” Teresa says, “my baby is a star. What’s not to like? She’s beautiful.” Agent says, “I will be in touch . . .”

Danielle and Christine on the way to Christine’s photo shoot. Let’s pimp this kid out! It may be a housewife show but . . . well . . .$$$$ and whose the photographer? Bensimon! Kelly’s (RHWNY) ex husband. Christine reads lines with the affact of a 2nd grader. Yes, she’s pretty. She likes when people stare at her and tell her she’s pretty. Danielle is an over-obnoxious stage mom taking pictures of the photoshoot. Christine reads her lines that say mom is “annoying and needs to stop.” A robot might have more emotion.

Photographer wants to take Danielle’s picture too and Christine’s face looked PISSED. hmmm,

Mother daughter shoot. Danielle thinks she’s a model, again. Whatever.  Note to Christine: I’m sorry your mommy put you on TV and is pushing you into modeling. RUN .

Vito comes to pick up Lauren and face Albie. More tension.  Vito says, “ya wanna go talk about it ” and the men go in the kitchen. Again, it’s weird that my bro is fucking my sister . . . . ok. He didn’t say that but he’s worried about “if they break up ” that he’d lose a friend. Albie says It’ll take me awhile to adjust but he doesn’t want to SEE anything.”

“Be a gentleman . . .” backslap, buddies, have fun. Kum ba ya.

Danielle. at the modeling agency. Double kiss from a man for the little girl. Ohh, Danielle so impressed by NAMES and famous people. FIrst photo shoot, Cover. My daughter. More lines for Christine. IT’S A FUCKING TV SHOW. The DAILY is viewed by EVERYBODY (never heard of it)) and having a 5 page spread!! YEah, bravo is investing in this little girl! I’m sick to my stomach. It’s one thing when the the adults on these shows crash and burn. This girl is 13. I believe this is Danielle’s dream, not Christine’s but Christine loves the attention. Agent says she’s a great mom. “Will you have trouble going to Milan?” Nooo’ BOOK IT DANO”

Doesn’t she have another daughter? Don’t they have school? doesn’t she have a job . . .oh, sorry . . . .

Seriously, this might be my last recap. I can’t watch the kids. They are making this show about Christine and Gia. Are they housewives? Did they sign a contract? Are they getting paid for their performance on this show? yeah, sound like a freaking broken record. I’m sick of selfish parents pushing their kids in front of the camera so THEY get attention. Last week the girl was her mom’s handler/therapist and this week she’s the next supermodel of the world. I wonder how her classmates will treat her now that she’s officially the most beautiful 13-year-old that has ever existed on this earth.

Jacqueline’s house with Teresa and Caroline. More girl talk, giggling, nothing I really want to write about since I haven’t been pregnant in 12 years and I won’t ever be pregnant again. Ohhh, psycho table flip clip . . . that never gets old.

Danielle wants to have a party in her daughter’s honor and wants to invi . . . “NOT CAROLINE!”  . . . . but, of course she wants to extend an invitation to Dina and Jacqueline. The girls again give their mother advice and say that maybe they  shouldn’t . Danielle didn’t get this.

Danielle calls Dina to invite her to luncheon for Christine. Why is Danielle inviting ladies that aren’t friends? Then she calls Jacqueline and J says she’s happy and she supports BUT . . . it’s awkward right now. She blames it on her husband and I think that’s fine. Why would they want to hang with her. Danielle was disappointed in Jack’s response. I guess she thinks that she’s more imporant than J’s marriage and sister in law. Danielle is a selfish bitch.

Teresa gets a call saying that Gia will be in the show next week. She explains to Joe that it’s fashion week as he uses a slap chop. Hope he’s not chopping his nuts. Teresa tells Gia and the little girl SCREAMS and dances on her bed. Strut your 8 year old stuff! mommy laughs with pride. I vomit.

Danielle. How much do we need of her psycho face this week? She’s planning the luncheon for her daughter Christine because she’s on the over of a fashion magazine . . . unless you missed it the first for thousand times she mentioned it.

Kim “D” is the friend not a friend friend. She invited  everybody she could and acted as if all these woman were her best freineds. Some of them she met at the grocery store. “It’s my daughter, I gave birth to her,” and she shows everybody the magazine.

Christine said, “my mom’s luncheon, wasn’t really for me . . .”

I think a certain type of woman goes on these shows and it’s harmful to everybody around them. I’m hating reality TV.

More Danielle, talking about ME. She announces that Jacqueline and Dina were invited and there are two empty seats. She announces this to the luncheon guests “I Wish them love, wrap them in beautiful light . . .” they never said they would attend. They said no. The ladies trying to talk and Danielle mentions that Kim “D” belonged to Caroline. “She decides to call one of them out saying “you’re her friend” the woman says Caroline is NOT not my friend. Our sons are friends” All the ladies clap and say they are her friends . . . yippieeeee. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. I wonder if Kim “D” is working undercover . . .

In coming attractions Gia is crying and you hear her dad say, in a horrible tone, “Crybaby.” I won’t be watching this show anymore. Sorry. My anger over the kids will make me a hater and I really don’t need to get so angry watching TV. TV was once something I enjoyed.

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May 11, 2010 - Posted by | Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reality TV, RHNJ |

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