my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

Real Housewives of NJ- Danielle’s big moment?

Teresa and Joe brought home their pile of pink fluff with a small person inside.   On the way Joe commented they needed a bigger Cadillac for their family and implied there would be a few more kids.  She asked him to get snipped because she is all done with having babies.  Joe is usually very sensitive so I was surprised when he said NO.  He told her to enjoy how active they were because it would slow down some day.  She told him she would find a younger man.  I think she was joking but I am not sure.  I don’t think Joe is too worried.  He knows he is prince charming and no other man could woo a woman with the skills he has.

For some reason Teresa thought it was a good idea to wake the sleeping 3 year old to see her baby sister’s outfit.   They have their priorities!  No one better miss a cute outfit.  Wake up kid!

Danielle is visiting with the lady lucky enough to be labeled her “friend” for this episode.  This is the same lady she called out at the luncheon asking her if she was Caroline’s friend.   I don’t know why this soul is agreeing to play along.  Her son is best friends with Caroline’s son, Chris.   The topic is the upcoming benefit to be held at the Brownstone for a baby that is sick with cancer.  For some strange reason, Danielle was invited to attend and she is working on gathering troops to go with her.

Danielle is wearing some strange fur vest thing and a diamond bracelet.  The bracelet is kind of  smallish looking…in my opinion.  The script demanded that the nice lady compliment Danielle on it so she could brag that it cost a lot of money.  It could easily be a CZ from Kmart but I am not going to question it.

The friend, Kim, tells us that she has a beautiful home but she doesn’t brag about it.   I guess bragging about it would be if she said she had she had a super-duper amazing beautiful home.  Got it. She agrees to attend the benefit at the Brownstone with Danielle because there will be nothing on Tv that night and…actually she doesn’t say WHY she is willing to do that and I can’t figure it out.  The nice lady promises to have Danielle’s back.  Maybe Danielle is going to give the nice lady her bracelet?  Maybe the nice lady is hoping to get a reputation? Maybe she wants to be a Bravo TV star?

Chris’s friend, John, comes to visit and hugs everyone. This is the nice lady’s son.  I smell…BRAVO SET UP.  Caroline tells us that you can’t be friends with all her kids parents.  Aint that the truth?  My kid’s friend had the most annoying mother I ever met.  I steer clear of her in Walmart to this day.  Back to matters at hand.  Caroline explains that John’s mother invited her to lunch and she turned it down because the nice lady is friends with Danielle.  She doesn’t want to mess up things with the boy’s friendship.  I guess I agree with her.  I think it’s good that she didn’t try to change the nice ladies’ opinion of Danielle before Bravo could get all the scenes shot.  I am working hard to pretend that I think this scene was needed for some reason and I didn’t just waste 6 minutes of my life.

Dina comes to see Teresa and the new baby.  I wonder why the normally perfectly dressed Teresa is wearing such an awful, tight outfit.  She just had a baby, where are her cute sweat pants?   They chat about Danielle.  Yawn.   Is she pyscho or a sociopath?  Who cares?

Albie, the up and coming Godfather, is meeting Ashley, his step-cousin, and her much older boyfriend for dinner.  He is ready to bust heads and takes names…or something like that.  Lauren is there to assist with the interrogation.  Ashley is living with her boyfriend but she assures us it’s ok because she is on birth control and everything.  I don’t want to know about the everything….kids these days.  Sheeesh.  I have to say that I love how much Albie is concerned and he is very sweet to involve himself.  I love Italian families.  They are in everybody’s business but that is just love.

Jacqueline comes to visit Derek’s mom.  (That’s Ashley’s boyfriend)  Ashley is living there with the boyfriend.  It seems that either J didn’t get the memo that vests were out of style or I didn’t get the memo that they were in.  I am leaning toward the latter.  They have a nice chat, some wine, and before we know it they are lounging on the couch together giggling.  They express love for each other…I need to know the name of the wine they are drinking.

At the Brownstone Chris and his Dad have to talk about Danielle coming to an event there.  I don’t quite get it.  She is weird and annoying but is she worthy of a grand alert?

Gia is celebrating her 9th birthday and Teresa wants it to be the event to remember.  She is having a spa party complete with a pink limo.   Seems reasonable.  But wait, first she is getting her gift: a new four wheeler!  With no training or helmets Gia and her little sister take off in the driveway.  Mommy is worried…that they might get dirty.    They pile into the limo and head to the spa while Mommy comments on how unaware her kids are about how much they spend on birthday parties.  Teresa is on a mission to convince us that she is a total moron.  Mission accomplished Teresa.  You can stop now.

It’s the night of the benefit.  The nice lady comes to Danielle’s home to plan their invasion.  Danny arrives in his best black t-shirt, fresh out of the Hanes package, and his hair is styled perfectly if he is Shawn Cassidy.  He is excited that in 6 days he will be off probation.  Tense music.  Tense edits.  Good work Bravo.

Caroline is chatting with Jacqueline and Teresa and tells us that she shaves her entire face every day.  I am not 100% sure why she does this and it brings strange images to mind.  Have you ever seen those TLC shows with the people that have hair all over their faces?    The conversation switches to Danielle and the event she is attending at the Brownstone. Yawn.  With all this build up I hope it’s exciting.

Finally, it’s time for the event. Danielle, Probation Danny, and the nice lady are on their way.   Danielle is excited that she is going to have an entourage waiting for her. Danny had the head of the Hell’s angels and some ex-cons meet them so they could walk in together.  Apparently she wants to slip in unnoticed.   Danielle goes out of her way to shake Chris’s hand.  She tells us it was a psychological ‘F you’ which is bizarre.  He is a KID and has nothing to do with this drama.  She says “I’m walking in the door at YOUR second home, YOUR BUSINESS.”    Who is she talking to?   She is creepy.  The nice lady makes a point of greeting Caroline’s son and he tells her that she is in for a surprise.  He tells us in his personal interview that he is referring to the fact that the event is being run by a hunters groups and they were in effect over dressed.    Nutty  Danielle did not miss the opportunity to twist that around and tell us that he was “sadistic” and that “you knew whose son that was.”    She is so…..odd.

Danielle greets the family of the sick baby and says she brought a lot of people.  Their child is facing a possibly fatal illness and they want to hear about her drama?    The Drama is only starting.   There is no table set up for Danielle.  She showed up with an entourage of guests that did not pay.  “Is this the big surprise Chris was referring to?”     She is such an idiot.  The venue is scrambling to set up a table for the self-proclaimed guest of honor and her goons.  She doesn’t like where the table is placed.  She is still complaining.   Danny is freaking out and yelling at people for not making things happen.  Danielle now feels the need to tell the family of the sick child that  “they don’t want me here” and continues to display her crazy for all the world to see.   Danielle tells whoever will listen that she is leaving with dignity.  The nice lady gave the family a check.  In the foyer Probation Danny is forgetting himself and getting angry.  Danielle is smirking and warning everyone how dangerous her entourage is.  All of them are surprised that a group of convicts, a Hell’s Angel, a prostitute whore, and one nice lady were not accepted with open arms and treated as royalty.   Even the tension filled music doesn’t make any of it add up to me.  Danny seems to find himself to be a very threatening person.  It’s kind of cute….like how a tiny dog barks and thinks he is very scary.

Danielle tells us that she has a good grasp on reality.  I am not going to touch that statement.  It’s a stand alone piece that demonstrates her lunacy.  She is ranting and raving about how the Manzo’s treated her badly.  She doesn’t understand that none of the Manzo’s had anything to do with the event.  Never mind.  Her voices in her head are too loud for the real world to get a word in.  Wow.

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June 1, 2010 - Posted by | Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reality TV

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