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Real Housewives of NYC recap and spoilers

Last week’s installment was nuts.  We were left with promises that this week would be even crazier.  They lied.

We start out this week learning that Kelly has gone home.  WHEW.   It’s the morning after and everyone looks like they have been through a lot.  Hair is still crazy.  Bethenny grabbed a giant pink hat to wear to the breakfast table.  Seems reasonable. They decide that the four of them all get along and it should be peaceful for the rest of the trip.  Giggle.  Did they think Bravo would let them off the hook like that?

Ramona, Bethenny, Sonja, and Alex all enjoy some manicures and pedicures.  I am again so jealous of them all.  It looks like the perfect vacation.  Sunny skies, slight breeze, very nice.  What could go wrong?

SERRRP- Priiiiiiize!   It’s JILL here to SURPRISE them all.  Obviously Bravo was behind this since Jill would have not know how to fly into St. Thomas, take the ferry to St. John, and find the palace.   Getting to St. John is not an easy stop over, it took effort.  It took cooperation from Bravo.  Great set up.

Everyone looks shocked or angry or both.  Bobby is with Jill and they both seem to think there ought to be a happy reception.  What is up with Bobby?  Is he completely unaware of his wife and the drama surrounding her?

Jill tells us in her private interview that they did not seem happy to see her.  Great powers of observation.

Ramona tries to be honest and civil with her.  She explains that there has a lot of drama.  Jill tells us that she saw Kelly in the airport.  Jill is honestly planning to pretend that she has not been talking to Kelly the whole time???

Alex is shook up.  She is not herself. I think she misses the strength of Simon being by her side.  I really think they are soul mates and need each other.  She looks like a child who is lost in the shopping mall.  She needs her man.

Ramona tries to talk to Jill…who is completely unwilling to see that this was not a good surprise.  Ramona tries really hard and apologizes a number of times.  Bobby has a small conversation with Bethenny and it’s super uncomfortable to witness that.

Jill sobs to Bobby that they are not nice.  I feel slightly sorry for her.  She is delusional.  She thought she could talk to Bethenny there?  Why not talk in NYC where you live a block apart?  Why did you respond so horribly when Bethenny called you?

Finally the remaining guests are settled in for dinner and their hair looks better than it has it has in days.  Sorry, I notice this stuff.  Oh wait…a few scenes in and Alex’s hair is frizzing.  Sorry.

Ramona chokes.  Sonja wants to give her the Heimlich maneuver whether she needs it or not.   The talk turns to penis size.  Ummm…ok then.  “It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean” is Alex’s only comment. Sonja thinks that large ears mean a large penis. Bethenny tells us that she doesn’t want “dumbo with a large package.”

Alex announces that they are having a bridal shower for both Ramona and Bethenny.   By bridal shower they mean sex fetish devices.  Ramona seems out of her element with the kink factor.  Sonja wonders how that is possible since ramona claims to happy after years of marriage.  I guess you can’t have a happy marriage unless there is bondage?  How long has Sonja been married?  Oh, that’s right….she’s divorced.  Maybe she is not the one to be handing our marriage advice?

For some reason they made wedding dresses out of toilet paper.  This must be a tradition that I never heard of.   I wonder if it was quilted?

Luann, Jill and Jen the party planner meet for lunch.  Luann understands why Ramona threw Jill off the island.   Kelly shows up.  She is looking strange. Kelly tells us that she was shell-shocked after she left the island.  Kelly is there to tell them that she hated how they talked badly about people and gossiped about people….kind of like she was doing now.  She goes on to explain that she called Bethenny a “ho bag” and assured them that this is an accurate description of her.  She goes on to attack the notion that Bethenny is a “cook” and says that she has never heard of her catering any parties for the people she knows.  Each person at the table refuted this claim and she simply kept talking.

Her most shocking statement was to say that Bethenny admitted attacking her the press and she claimed that Bethenny said “I went out of my way to have a smear campaign against you.”     KELLY- do you understand that this stuff is all filmed?  Do you get that you are being proven a liar right now?   Then she starts talking about her jelly beans.  She tells us that she “had to go back in there to police them.”  and Jill wonders if she was worried that they would get her jelly beans.    That was a funny comment Jill.  Wait till you see the finished episode; you will see how funny you comment really was.

Jill and Luann agreed that they were confused by this account of the weekend.  Jen assures us that the truth is somewhere in the middle.

The housewives are now at a party.  Alex begins to explain to Luann that she was surprised Kelly would say that anyone was mean to her.  They all decide to go upstairs and talk it out.  This is important, I guess.  We need to hear Bethenny tell Luann what happened last week in St. John.   We all saw it happen.  Nothing she says even comes close to giving it justice.  You can’t explain the crazy because no one would believe it.  She should have told her “just wait for the episode.”

Luann shows her children the penthouse at the Thompson Hotel.  I don’t know why we needed to see that.  Did Thompson Hotel need a plug?

It’s now time for Jill’s holiday party.  Jen is there.  She is asking Jill is she wants to do a speech and what time does she want people to skate…..ok….I am an event planner.  That conversation doesn’t happen as the event begins.  It happens a weeks before, in the planning.  Is Jen being paid for this?

Suddenly Jill is missing Bethenny.  She wants to make up.  She calls her and asks her to lunch.  It’s one of the few conversations that did not happen on speaker phone.  She agreed to meet her and we are all hopeful for this meeting.  Who doesn’t like peace?

Jill came to her party all decked out in a skating outfit. She is planning to do a little performance.

Cutaway to Kelly saying that she has never heard Jill talk about anything sporty her life and she makes a funny face about the skating outfit.  Does any of this fall under her “no gossip, no bad talk” rule?

Jill comes on to say that a lot of people don’t know that she used to be a skater….when she was NINE…so that explains why she is now in this outfit.  She is about to put on a performance.  Luanne is being fancy in her rented skates.   Jill immediately fell on the ice.    How long has it been since she was NINE?    She begins to skate in circles and spin around  followed by skating backwards.   She then poses for pictures.  I rewound the DVR a few times because I thought I missed the performance.  Maybe it was edited out??

Ramona arrives and is immediately attacked by Kelly who seems to be unaware of what actually happened in St. John.  Kelly feels Ramona did not defend her and have her back.  She begins to say things that make no sense.  She is certain that she doesn’t need any help.  That makes one of us.  Ramona eventually gets control and is able to say that she is sorry Kelly is upset.  That appears to calm her.  Can you imagine what her ex-husband went through with this nut job?

Jill tells us that she just wants peace and harmony.  She wants to start over.  She works really hard to listen to Ramona when she talks.  I give her some credit for that.  They hug and assure each other that things are ok.

All in all, this was mostly an overhyped episode that basically rehashed last weeks drama.  I think I am relieved.

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May 28, 2010 - Posted by | Reality TV

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