my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

Karl & Jane: Once upon a time . . .

there was a man named Karl who was unhappy with his lot in life.

He went to a picnic and saw a woman he thought was attractive. That woman, Jane, had a boyfriend but Karl was determined to win her away from that boyfriend. Jane’s father was a prominent dentist and Jane had wonderful features that would make very cute babies.

Karl and Jane had a quick romance and got married. Karl told Jane that she wasn’t getting pregnant fast enough and they managed, in the first year of their marriage, to get fertility treatments. Karl and Jane had 2 healthy girls. Twins. What a blessing.

Karl wanted more. Jane was happy and busy with the twins but Karl really wanted more babies. Karl loves babies. Jane went to a new fertility doctor and was hospitalized and told to not continue the cycle. Karl saw that as an opportunity and coerced Jane to have sex. Jane was then pregnant with 7 babies. Doctors recommended reducing the embryos but Karl and Jane are Christians and would never reduce.

One baby didn’t make it but 6 healthy babies were born. Karl and Jane were given a reality show. Karl continually abused Jane on this show. He told the kids “ignore mommy, she’s mean.” He slapped her, yelled at her in public, humiliated her and told her to “stop breathing” because she was so annoying.

Karl wrote a book about his unique family and went on a book tour to promote and sell the book. His traveling companion, a very attractive young woman, made Jane uncomfortable. Karl told her “tough” and continued to travel with the young woman, stay in 5star hotels and spend many hours with this person who wasn’t his spouse.

Jane was home with the kids. Karl would come home, pay some bills, and leave again for a few weeks.

When Karl came home he told Jane to move out of the bedroom. He said the marriage was over but wanted to continue the tv show and fleecing the public.

Jane was sad. She went out and met some men. The tabloids found out and took pictures. Jane was sleeping in the garage. Jane was being talked about all over the internet. Jane is scum.

Karl continues his tours of fame and is getting paid 20k a month from Jane, who lives in the garage. Karl gets paid 100k from the network. Karl is touring the country and the kids are being raised by nannies. Jane cannot see the kids until Karl says it’s okay.

Jane gets a good lawyer. Lawyer files on behalf of the mother who wants to spend time with her kids. Jane doesn’t have a job so she is available to be home with her kids but Karl feels nannies would be better caregivers.

Jane doesn’t feel she should pay child support to someone who isn’t home. Jane wants to raise her own children but Karl, the one with the money and the power, says no.

Would this ever happen in America? It is happening to Jon Gosselin now and somehow HE’S the douche bag??


April 12, 2010 - Posted by | Reality TV |

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