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RHNY: Season 3, Episode — Recap by TVSnark

Bethanny discussing the tabloids calling her and Jill “frenemies.” She’s reading her own bad press and talking about being blackballed. She sarcastically blamed Jill for the article. Bethanny says, “If it looks like a jill . . .”

Then Bethanny talks about Perez Hilton trying to start more trouble between her and Jill. Oh, she called him a TERMITE . . . Bethanny doesn’t understand why her “fights” are gossip in the tabloids? Um, Bethanny, you have a show. We see the fights and people like to write about them. PH has his nose in everybody’s face. It’s what comes with being on TV, Einstein.

Kelly being interviewed by  “the most handsome journalist she’s ever seen.” Hee,  hee, I’m sure she hangs with journalists on a daily basis. She’s acting like a teenager sitting with the football player and I don’t seem to see the chemistry she’s babbling about. The man was doing his job and trying to make her feel comfortable. He was  also playing the “part” of the interview who flirts with Kelly but Kelly “rejects” because he’s not MAJOR enough..

They talk about her nude Playboy shoot. He’s interviewing her and she’s asking him questions. “this is an organic experience . . . ” “Stop flirting iwth me . . . .”

She thinks the world is curious about what she looks like without clothes. “This man is really engaging . . .” She thinks she’s on a date. She wants a date with this guy. It’s a TV show. He asks for another interview. “Is this a date?” — yes. Oh, so subtle. Those Journalists sure can sweet talk, can’t they?

The Countess asnd her daughter. Luanne is pretending to be interested in her daughters drawing and she misses the city (they are in the Hamptons). She’s telling us how there is so much more to do in “the city.” Whatever. EVERYBODY needs 2 homes. It’s normal.

The daughter asks her mommy if she’s dating. Since Daddy is already banging some young princess, maybe mommy should get some too. “Papa, like he moved on so you should move on,.” Luanne says its easier for a man to start over than a woman. I have to agree with her for the first time ever. She gets her daughter’s blessing and affirms that she’d like to meet a nice man. Tabloids have said that she makes out with young guys at bars. of course, that’s not on the show so it can’t possibly be true, right?

Jill and Allie at SEVENTEEN magazine for a photo shoot.  It’s a prom dress spread for her “body type.” Kelly shows up and she came to surprise Allie because she’s a “pretty famous model” and she could help Allie feel comfortable. Oh Jill. She feels pride that the SEVENTEEN Magazine people knew Kelly was with HER. OMG. Jill has a girl-crush and it’s icky.

Allie looks beautiful but, as her mom pointed out, she’s not even 5’1″ but yeah, she’s going to get a modeling contract. Mommy had a photo shoot, Allie has a photo shoot.

Kelly tells Jill about the hot journalist. Jill wants all the details. Talking about how smart he is and how they like smart guys. Kelly respects Jill and will take her advice. Jill approves and says “go out with him” while Kelly laments “will I ever meet a nice guy?”  Spare me.

Alex on the board for Brooklyn Fashion Week. She’s got a purpose and she’s passionate about it. Bethanny shows up and so does Kelly and Ramona. Jill wasn’t invited. Alex didn’t have “closure” about the Jill’s comments about her kids plus she likes Bethanny’s opinions better. Cute. Alex again makes a solid decision and tries to avoid conflict. She should have invited other women but that wouldn’t be a show. These bitches were too busy wanting to fight than to really care about the reason they were invited ALL THE WAY to Brooklyn!!

4 ladies to chose fashions. Ramona asks if Brooklyn is a separate country. Bethanny asks sbout the Saks event and starts probing the ladies with stupid questions.

Kelly and Ramona talk about not talking about what I said, but don’t say it, it wasn’t mean, don’t, would you want your daughter to do that? dont!.

Yes, I realize the previous sentence doesn’t make sense. Either does watching these toddlers yelling at each other.

“diarrhea of the mouth is not a real affliction . . .” Keep with the one-liners Bethanny, that’s why we loved you the first season.

Bethanny brings up the Daily News article and blames Jill. Ramona said, “don’t talk about people not here . . .” Ramona doesn’t want to be in the middle. Bethanny is talking about her feelings being hurt. Kelly couldn’t sit there anymore with B’s “poor me” act. Kelly says that Bethanny attacked her and is SO MEAN. B asked if she wants to rehash. Kelly keeps talking about being called Madonna. So now they argue about arguing. Everybody is yelling. Alex is getting mad. Ramona said, “do this on your own time” and Alex finally says, “help me and look at fashion or take it outside.” Yes. How could I be loving Alex so much this season? Oh . . . there he is. Simon. Bethanny comments on “Eamona and Simon sitting in a tree . . .” She expected Ramona to vomit. OKAYyyyyyyy.

Bethanny seems to slam Brooklyn.

They start looking at different designers clothing. Very interesting. Some of the fashions were ridiculous and the ladies faces reflected that. Ramona said, “that’s the difference between Brooklyn Fashion week and New York Fashion week.” Snob much, Ramona? Is Brooklyn “not allowed” to have a fashion week.

Kelly needs to tell Bethanny that she doesn’t care by saying her feelings were hurt. huh. Ramona and Alex try on dresses and they found their final designer.

They faux hug. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Kelly said she called a truce. The conversation is O-V-E-R. You are such a good person Kelly. Why the fuck did you bring it up again in the first place. And then again. And then again????

Ramona with new woman fawning all over her hair and “attitude.” Two old friends having the most scripted conversation I’ve ever seen. This whole scene is stupid. It’s like a therapy session and I don’t want to see it. She’s crying, talking about the “warzone” she grew up and they’d run away to grandmas in Brooklyn. She realizes that’s why she was such a bitch at Alex’s. Self-analysis.

She breaks down about her father’s death. They finally had a connection and he died. She’s opening up to her friend of 16 years and her friend is hearing things for the first time. Ramona gushes about her luckiness and how she has the life now she always dreamed of. Good for her. Happy people Rock!! (eye roll)

Kelly getting ready for Miami. She’s telling her assistant how cute the journalist was and how awkward she felt. Now she thinks its not appropriate to go out with someone who was interviewing her.  She wants someone MAJOR like her first husband. I guess journalist isn’t on the same level as photographer. Whatever. I guess she thinks pretty pictures are more important than words. I thought she said she liked smart men? What a slam to a nice man who hopefully wrote an honest article about an old leather face thinking she was flirting with a gorgeous writer.

Sigh.

She gets an email from Jill that she considers threatening. Kinda “if you’re friends with Bethanny you can’t be friends with me.” She thinks she’s really been such a good friend to Jill and that Jill should know she could “trust her” with Bethanny, whatever that means.

Ah, phone call. I might not finish recapping because real-life people are more important than any reality TV show or recap for my blog. Sorry.

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April 2, 2010 - Posted by | Reality TV |

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