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RHWNY Episode 15: Recap

As usual, we start in the Hamptons. Ramona, sporting a shorter do, welcomed Luanne and Jill to a yacht. Ramona assured us all that she had not been surgically altered. Alex arrived and asked herRaona asked if she looked like an older version of Cameron Diaz, causing Jill to poke her finger down her throat and Luanne to firmly state in a PI that she “looks nothing like Cameron Diaz”…and we are OFF. Joni, a friend of Ramona’s, is on the boat. Ramona suddenly brings out her jewelry line to show everyone. Jill immediately sidebars with Ramona’s friend to put down Ramona for “hawking her wares”…which is odd. Why wouldn’t you want to show your friends your jewelry collection? Why can’t you be proud of what you do? Ramona was the HOSTESS. They don’t mind boarding the yacht she hired and eating the food she provided but damn her to hell if she displays her jewelry collection to her….FRIENDS?

What was Jill’s point? She said that Ramona was “cheap” for not giving all of her friends free jewelry. Coming from the lady that spent $16K on an ugly purse, it’s hard to take her opinion seriously. Why is Jill slamming Ramona to her friend? The absence of Betheny is finally addressed. Ramona says that she did not invite her because she is aware that there are some problems. Jill was ready with a speech about it. She loved having the opportunity to tell everyone about the nasty message Bethenny left for her suggesting that Jill “get a hobby.” I hope we get to hear the other side at some point.

Cut away to Bethenny on a photo shoot. She is NUDE….actually she is wearing “pasties and a bandaid on her cooch”….according to her. Classy. They are shooting her as part of the PETA “I’d rather go naked than wear Fur” campaign. 23 seconds in she already takes a shot at Kelly suggesting that she wear the panties while running down 5th avenue. Clearly they are not OVER the issues from last season. Bethenny tells us that there are incredible things happening for her right now. She starts talking about her new boyfriend, Jason, and declares that she is in love.

Back the yacht. Luanne, supported by Jill, begins by complimenting Ramona and then goes on to complain Mario who called the Countess- COUNTLESS. WOW. That is pretty harsh considering that the fact that they are going through a very public divorce. Ramona starts talking a million miles a minute and refuses to accept that the comment was nasty and should be addressed. She did not exactly defend him but basically said that she should take it up with Mario. Her excuses: “You almost got a divorce two years ago.” “There are no titles in the US.” “People are making jokes left and right.” And she ends with ‘don’t let it bother you.”

Ramona then starts on a tantrum declaring that she is being attacked and that Luanne and Jill are ruining her day. She stomps downstairs and cries that she is sick of them and she is a nice person. I am glad she explained that to us or I would not be aware that she was a nice person. She said the countess is classless and continues to talk about the book Luanne wrote. She then cleans it up and explains that some people think she is mean because she is honest. Her friend Joni, the one that had been stabbing her in the back a short while before, now was comforting Ramona and declaring that the countess IS classless. Are these women aware of the cameras?

Suddenly happiness is restored and Ramona is passing out drinks and declaring her love for everyone. She is offering toasts. Jill says in a PI that Ramona is crazy, earning Jill the Captain Obvious award of the evening.

Bethany and her assistant are talking about Jill and Betheny declares that Jill is grabby and that ‘Jason hates grabby” “She can’t be my plus one to everything.” “She can’t be happy for me unless it directly benefits her” And finally “Jason was here when I called her up and said “seriously….have I not thanked you enough?” and she went on to tell her that she has to get a hobby that doesn’t involve picking fights with people.

My personal opinion is that Betheny is so needy that she transforms to whoever is paying attention to her. First choice is a man but Jill fit the bill when no man was interested. When a new man came onto the scene Bethenny could not be transformed into TWO people’s worlds so she expected Jill to take a hint and exit stage left. Jill thought they were actually friends so she missed her “you have been reduced to a guest role in this play” memo. Betheny has no clue how to handle a relationship with anyone and when she is feeling pressured she blasts venom.

Jason shows up with a set of golf clubs for Betheny. She says that they are trying each other things….but that means she is trying HIS things. She goes on to talk with him about the nude pictures she had taken. He is not a fan of her posing nude. I have a feeling that Bethenny will talk about Jason most of this season because her identity is now bound up in this new guy. Just my guess.

Now we flash to a meeting with Kelly, Jill and Luanne. Jill is declaring that they probably did not give kelly a chance last year. Kelly attempts to explain why Max is gone…because she doesn’t want “Mr. Right Now” …totally stumping Luanne with the attempt to be witty. Kelly explains that she wants to be “Robin to a Batman”…she never fails to disappoint with her idiocy. Thank you Kelly. I mean Robin.

Back to Bethany and her new identity…I mean boyfriend. She tells us that her relationship is very normal. Interesting that she thought she needed to say that. She tells Jason that Jill has been weird and then Jason feeds her the carefully written, scripted question to set her up with the opportunity to continue to explain why she is not friends with Jill anymore. She says she was in Jill’s world and as long as it was all about Jill it was fine. Jason says that maybe she was the mother bird and now Bethenny flew the nest. I hope this won’t be rehashed a million times over the season.

Jill said, “I found a hobby, and it’s not hanging out with you anymore.”

Kelly is loving to be able to trash Bethany to Jill. Buddy/Buddy.

After analyizing Bethany, we see Kelly, Luanne and Jill. Kelly is explaining her court issues..in normal Kelly style, meaning, nothing makes sense. She can say words without saying anything at all. She then asks Luanne if the divorce is hard? Oy….both Luanne and Jill have voiceovers and PI’s saying that they think she is trying harder to be friendly.

Flash to Kelly picking up the check.

Bethany and Jason are now on the beach doing yoga. Weird. Jason is now dropping off Betheny is her Skinny Girl VW convertible. HUH? Ok then…she is meeting Luanne for drinks. They are almost immediately arguing about …who friggen cares? They are clearly not enjoying the fact that they are together.

Luanne is ready to rumble. She brings out last season when Betheny made nasty comments, on camera, and Luanne is ready to call her on it. Bethenny is ready tell her off. Luanne is ready to tell her what she thinks. This is tense to watch. Bethenny is very guarded and Luanne is wanting to bury the hatchet. B thinks that Luanne is fake and Luanne thinks B is snarky. Luanne tries to change the topic to B’s love life. For some reason B felt the need to call Luanne a “Dumb drag queen” and after replaying it twice, I still don’t get it. My favorite moment in the scene was when Luanne says that he life fell apart and Bethenny was not there for her. Bethenny reminds her that she sent a gift basket!  Why pick up the phone when a gift basket can do the talking for you?  I wonder what was in the “I am sorry your husband cheated on you and now he is dumping  you” gift basket?

They eventually hug…and immediately we flash to a PI where B complains about hugging her and said that she needs a bath.  Does B remember that they play this stuff? Some day she will be answering for her nasty comments. Again. I still don’t understand her bitterness toward Jill and Luanne. Looking forward to all of this season. I think.

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March 5, 2010 - Posted by | Reality TV |

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