my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

The past decade . . . my thoughts

2000 came in with a bang. I was married with a new baby. My husband was an IT professional and I suggested a Y2K computer sweep to get clients so he could earn extra money and have a side job. Nope. He didn’t want to do that. He wanted ME, with a new baby, to start a business.

In 2000 I joined a “Mommy and Me” group and 2 of the woman from that group are still my friends today. We got together every Friday, ate, talked, gossiped, oh, and the kids played, sort of. We went to the Zoo, restaurants, parks, and each other’s houses. Well, everybody’s house but mine. My husband was quite anti-social and was home during the days (he worked nights) and, truth be told, I was embarrassed of the shithole our house had become.

In March of 2000 I had to go back to work. I was on disability for 10 months for PPD and my baby needed surgery at 4 months old. Going back to work was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I remember coming home that first day, running to my baby’s room and just holding and hugging her for a half hour. I missed her that first day. It was like taking a part of me, leaving it at home, and having to go on with my day without that body part.

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I left my husband Sept. 30th of 2003. Best decision I ever made. In 2005 my kid was to start kindergarten. I had 1 week to move, find daycare, find a school, find an apartment and relocate from the town her father was in. All I had to do was agree not to go after his trash/house or his 401k and I was able to move over 70 miles from him (and only 12 miles from my work).

Mini-Snark is now in 5th grade and has been at the same school since Kindergarten. Our apartment sucks but the neighborhood is affluent and her school is one of the best in California. She’s getting good grades and her teachers love her. I did something right.

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As the Decade comes to an end, so does a chapter in my life. Single motherhood. I’ve been blessed to meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, we are now doing the “long distance” thing and it’s awful. We want to be together and we want to be together NOW. He’s in Chicago, I’m in San Jose. We both have very good jobs. We both love our jobs. My job is not as secure as his and he has more of a “life” in Chicago than I do here. I’ve been working without a union contract for over a year and the company does want to get rid of more people. Whether that will be me or my department? — I never know. It’s as unpredictable as the weather.

I want to move to Chicago. My mother and other loved ones are adamant that I do not quit my job. My man is willing to move to California. He’s lived in the same area his entire life but he loves me and will do whatever it takes for us to be together. Decisions are still being made. The future looks bright and I’ve never felt such a wonderful sense of “inner calm” that I’ve felt since he and I found each other. I no longer fear tomorrow but I look forward to it. Next summer we will go to our 30th High School Reunion and knock the socks off our classmates. He was a big, popular jock . . . I was a sarcastic (who, me??) stoner who didn’t like the jocks. His best friend was my “nemesis” and I did my best to avoid that dude. Unfortunately, avoiding him also meant that I never noticed the wonderful guy he hung out with. I do know that I wouldn’t have appreciated him back then so I’m glad we reunited when we did. We value each other so much and we are “nice” to each other. Both of us lived with assholes who would rather say, “oh, you’re finally up” than, “good morning.” I look forward to saying “good morning” to this man every day for the rest of my life.

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December 29, 2009 - Posted by | Reality TV |

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