my Snark

Pop Culture . . . whatever

Who or What makes you instantly turn the channel? PART 1

Certain people make me turn the channel quickly. Here are some, in no particular order.

Kate Gosselin: I love “What Not To Wear” and always check TLC to see if it’s on.  If I see the exploited children, I might start watching to see what really going on. Then she insults a child, disrespects her husband or says something so stupid that my clicker changes the channel quickly.

Renee Zelwigger: She looks like she’s smelling a bad fart. I don’t like her with an English accent and I don’t like her pretending to be inlove with Tom Cruise. Which leads me to . . .

Tom Cruise: I never liked him, even before we knew he was a Scientology nut. After his couch-jumping and yelling at Matt Lauer, I realized I never have to see his movies again. I don’t care about him. I don’t think he’s cute and I do think he’s gay. Suri is adorable but I wonder who her father is.

Mel Gibson: As a Jew, and someone with tits, I cannot stomach him. I did watch “What Woman Want” the other day but I was desperate and I couldn’t find the remote. When drunks spew hatred, it’s not the booze talking, it’s the heart of the drunk. Mel hates Jews. I hate Mel. Kudos to Jimmy Kimmel for saying “Shalom” to the Nazi a few months ago.

Woody Allen: Many people are “over it” and they say that Woody and Soon Yi have a wonderful marriage. I, however, still see a man who married his daughter. I will never see it any other way. Mia was his girlfriend and she adopted Soon Yi as a child. Woody helped raise her. Then Woody took nude photos of her and fucked her. “The heart wants what the heart wants.” Yeah, and pedophiles belong in jail. This man could make the best movies in the world and I still would not pay one penny to see anything he’s done. He makes me ill.

Steve O or any Jackass: What is the point of watching big boys hurt themselves? I hate it. They encourage kids to try these stunts and kids get hurt.

Lisa Rinna: Just look at her! I can’t.

Steve Wilcos Show: I like him but I cannot watch this show for more than 30 seconds. He makes Springer look classy and he yells in losers faces. He scares me . . . but in a good way.

Stargate: I hate that guy with the thing on his forehead.

Celine Dion and Mariah Carey: Never cared for either one. Why are they famous??

parker-uglySex and the City: Weird. I watched it when it first came to regular TV from HBO. I loved it. Watched episodes over and over. Then I watched the movie. I couldn’t get over how ugly SJP is. Let me say that I’ve defended her for YEARS, even arguing with my brother saying he’d “do” her if he had the chance. However, in this movie there were just too many close-ups. She’s not Scarlett Johanson. Hell, she’s not even David Johansson.

Hulk Hogan: Okay, I don’t always turn the channel. Wish I would because his entire brood makes me sick.

O.J.: Don’t care. Won’t watch. Lock the killer up and throw away the key, please.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck: I cannot watch “The View” anymore. All she does is whine. She tells Whoopie that she can’t use the “N” word and then cries when she doesn’t get her way. She love Sean Hannity and goes on the show to give the fat white guys hard-ons. And speaking of fat, Republican hard-ons . . .

Anne Coulter: This woman is dangerous. First off, why does she ALWAYS where a black cocktail dress? Seeing her on a morning show she looks as if she’s hung-over from heavy partying the night before. “Work it Anne”

and, I hate to even mention these attention whores:

Heidi and Spenser: Have no use for them. Never had. Never will. Please go away.

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April 19, 2009 - Posted by | Gossip, Politics, Radio, Reality TV | , ,

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