There have been seven divorces that have occurred on The Real Housewives franchise in the five years since its premiere. The most recent casualty of this “divorce curse,” Vicki Gunvalson, blames reality TV for her marital troubles telling CNN recently, “We didn’t have 90 percent of the problems that we have now and I truly believe it is the show.” But can a television show really be at fault, or does it merely shine a spotlight on the cracks that were already present in the foundation of a marriage? Whatever the case, divorce and reality TV have gone hand-in-hand since the very first show in the genre in 1973, when PBS’ An American Family, which featured the breakup of the Loud family.
Bill & Pat Loud
It’s ironic that something as intellectually highbrow as PBS and expensive reels of 16mm film birthed what’s considered by many to be the dregs of our beer-bottle culture: Reality TV. Producer Craig Gilbert’s vision of conducting an anthropological “experiment” is something that’s still debated when discussing the genre today. With the invasion of cameras into people’s lives, are we seeing the worst of humanity or are we seeing how things really are? When the Louds were first approached about the project, they were made to believe that they were chosen because they were the “perfect” American family, which seemed to set the reasoning behind agreeing to being filmed for all reality TV families to come—an inflated sense of self and conceit in their own camera-readiness. But when filming commenced for the Louds, a mirror was held up to their lives without even seeing a single frame of their show. Perhaps it was the meddling of producers or the pointed questions they asked that helped illuminate the problems that the Louds realized they could no longer pretend did not exist. In the middle of the project, Pat filed for divorce and the drama that Gilbert had been hoping to capture on film became, well, a reality. The Louds blamed much of their problems on the series and its editing after the fact (perhaps the only people in history who could rightfully say that they didn’t know what they were signing up for with such a project). The behind-the-scenes story of the Louds’ experience with the project was dramatized for the recent HBO film Cinema Verite, at the end of which the audience learned that Pat and Bill have reconciled and at 84 and 90, respectively, are once again a couple.
Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey
Perhaps because of the cautionary tale that the Louds provided in the early ’70s, reality TV took a break from families for a while to focus on partying twentysomethings (The Real World) and competition-based series (Survivor, Big Brother), but eventually returned its focus on the institution of marriage with MTV’s Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica in 2003. Unlike the Louds, who were vilified, Simpson and Lachey were celebrated way more than they had been in their original careers as pop singers. But after three years of marriage, the couple announced they were divorcing in 2005, just months after the last episode of their show had aired. Simpson doesn’t blame reality TV for their breakup, telling Vanity Fair, “In all honesty, I believe it did not affect our marriage because we enjoyed watching those episodes.” Lachey, however, sees it differently, telling David Letterman, “It was just so invasive that it became a problem.”
Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro
Riding on the coattails of Newlyweds success, MTV aired ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave, a one-season reality show about the famous couple’s preparations for their wedding. Although they broke up less than three years after they were married, the couple agreed on one thing—reality TV was not to blame. Navarro didn’t even consider the show very realistic “because you’re not gonna be real with an eight-man crew in your house,” adding that “It’s the most realistic portrayal of…life with eight guys with cameras around.”
Shanna Moakler & Travis Barker
Desperate for more married couples, MTV recruited Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and former beauty queen Shanna Moakler. The two seasons of their show Meet the Barkers chronicled their wedding and the birth of their second child. Barker filed for divorce just months after the final episode of their show had aired. But even though Meet the Barkers was no longer on the air, their relationship was still very much a show. Moakler infamously hosted a divorce party, featuring a tiered cake with a murdered, mohawked groom. The couple were then very publicly off-again-on-again for a few years until they finally divorced for good in 2008.
Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown
When America’s sweetheart first married R&B’s bad boy many thought it would never work. But oddly, it did—for the 14 years before they decided to open up their lives to Bravo cameras for Being Bobby Brown in 2005. In just 11 short episodes, viewers were given a very rare look into the private lives of the famous couple, and most were shocked at what they saw. Rumors had swirled about Houston’s drug addiction for years, particularly after her infamous 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer, but the reality show highlighted the couple’s loving, yet erratic behavior. Just months after the series finale, Houston checked herself into rehab and reportedly stayed separated from Brown until she had a divorce fast-tracked one year later.
Linda Thompson & David Foster
Years before they were ever on The Hills, Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt starred in the Fox reality show The Princes of Malibu, which followed the lives of Jenner and his brother as the spoiled sons of former beauty queen Linda Thompson. The premise of the show was that Thompson’s babying of her sons caused tension in her marriage to songwriter David Foster. That tension must have been very real because Thompson filed for divorce the same month that the show premiered, causing Fox to cancel the series after airing only two episodes.
Kathy Griffin & Matt Moline
Griffin and Moline’s marriage seemed strong on My Life on the D List, but evidently, there were problems bubbling beneath the surface that caused the couple to break up after the first season of her reality show. However, they reconciled briefly and Moline was filmed for the show’s second season, but the couple divorced in May 2006, several months before Moline’s last episode aired.
Danny & Gretchen Bonaduce
If there was ever a reality show “train wreck” it was VH1’s Breaking Bonaduce. During filming, Danny fell off the wagon and began openly drinking and taking steroids. He and his wife Gretchen allowed cameras to film their couples counseling. The first episode of the second season shows Danny traveling to Mexico to promote the show, where he sees for the first time an episode featuring Gretchen getting a lap dance from a male stripper and he subsequently loses his temper. Gretchen then kicked him out of the house. The couple divorced a year later.
Linda & Hulk Hogan
The Hogans had something very rare among entertainment-industry families—a solid marriage that spanned nearly a quarter of a century. They opened up their lives for the VH1 show Hogan Knows Best in 2005 and in just two short years their 17-year-old son Nick was indicted as an adult on four criminal charges and sentenced to eight months in jail, a story surfaced in The National Enquirer in which a woman claimed to have had an affair with Hulk while he was filming his show, and Linda filed for divorce (just one month after the final episode of Hulk Knows Best aired). Hulk found out about the filing when a local newspaper called him for a comment.
Missy & Bam Margera
In 2007, Bam Margera threw caution to the wind and featured the planning and ceremony of his marriage to Missy Rothstein on Bam’s Unholy Union, despite MTV’s dismal track record with the relationships of the couples featured on its reality TV programming. In 2009, Bam was hospitalized after a four day drinking binge, which he said was sparked by his marital problems. In 2010, Bam told Howard Stern that, although they are not officially divorced, he and Missy live in separate cities and she is aware of his various girlfriends.
Jenni Pulos & Chris Elwood
Bravo’s Flipping Out is about decorator/house-flipper Jeff Lewis and his staff, who must put up with Lewis’ demanding personality due to his OCD. Two of his assistants—Pulos and Elwood—were married before they began working for Lewis. During the show’s second season, Lewis fired Elwood after a surveillance video revealed that he was shirking his responsibilities and not doing his job properly. Pulos divorced Elwood shortly after, citing the tape as “a factor in their breakup.”
Katie Price & Peter Andre
The marriage of glamor model Katie Price (aka Jordan) and pop singer Peter Andre was a match made in reality TV heaven when they met while filming I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! in 2004. Audiences watched live as the couple fell in love. It was only natural for them that they continue their relationship on television, where they had a kid, got married, and had another kid while filming several one-off reality specials and eventually a series titled Katie & Peter. After three and a half years of marriage, the couple divorced, and while their breakup was not chronicled for television, the aftermath of it was with Price’s new show What Katie Did Next.
Kate & Jon Gosselin
The breakup of the Gosselins’ marriage dominated tabloid covers for a solid year, beginning in April 2009 when it was first reported that Jon was having an affair with a local woman. Perhaps the public was so consumed by the story because, unlike most reality TV couples, Jon and Kate were not famous before their show Jon & Kate Plus 8, a relatively mundane family show which featured the Gosselins raising their children—a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. The Gosselins’ brand, success, and entire reason for being (on television) was because of their family. Watching Jon’s misbehavior—the Ed Hardy shirts, the cigarettes, the late nights, the young women, the bikini parties in Vegas, the purchase of a two-seater car when he has eight children—play out in real-life was fascinating and completely antithetical to what TLC purported him to be. Jon blamed the media for “exploiting” his children in some kind of weird power play to get more money to appear on the reality show. Ultimately, he was kicked off the show and it was renamed Kate Plus 8. For her part, Kate never blamed reality television for any of their problems, but rather Jon, for being a selfish person.
Susie & Corey Feldman
Susie and Corey were married (by officiant MC Hammer) on the season finale of The Surreal Life in 2002. The returned to reality TV in 2007 for The Two Coreys, an A&E show which was originally intended to be a light-hearted account of Corey Haim moving in with the Feldmans, but spiraled into something completely different by the show’s second season, with Haim’s drug problem overt and out of control. Many scenes showed Haim lashing out at Susie Feldman. Corey Feldman refused to continue the project unless Haim got sober. (Sadly, Haim died of a drug overdose in March 2010.) In October 2009, Susie filed for divorce.
Jeana & Matt Keough
The Keoughs have the unfortunate privilege of being the first breakup in The Real Housewives franchise after they legally separated during the third season of The O.C. version of the show. Matt, a former major league baseball player, never liked the cameras and didn’t participate very much on the show. In interview segments, Jeana shared that Matt had a bad head injury that affected this personality, and later admitted that he struggled with alcoholism. In the summer of 2009, Matt was arrested for DUI and was later sentenced to eight months in jail. After the Keoughs’ money problems became public knowledge through the show, Jeana pulled out of the series.
The Count & Countess de Lesseps
The next Housewives couple to split were the de Lesseps, from the New York City cast, which came as a shock to viewers as there were no signs of marital problems. In fact, the Count was barely featured on the show due to the amount he had to travel for work. It turns out that the couple had been living separately for years—he in Europe and she in New York—and that he had been carrying on with an Ethiopian princess, for whom he eventually left his wife.
Tamra & Simon Barney
Although theirs was the third divorce to occur in The Real Housewives universe, the demise of Tamra and Simon’s marriage was the first to actually play out fully on the show. We watched as they suffered from financial trouble, forcing them into a short sale of their home. We watched as Simon became more controlling. We saw Tamra attempt a last-ditch effort to save their relationship by unwisely having his name tattooed on her finger. Eventually, Simon filed for divorce and (along with his children) no longer participates on the show. However, the couple’s drama is still very much playing out in the public eye, as they release statements and contact the press about their alleged bad behavior.
Cat & Charles Ommanney
As part of the ill-fated D.C. cast of The Real Housewives (the first in the franchise to not be picked up for a second season) Cat’s husband had a very impressive job as the award-winning White House photographer for Newsweek. Admittedly, Charles’ job involves a lot of political skill, so it impacted his career negatively when his new wife signed on to a tawdry reality show. Before the first episode even aired, the couple split; Cat’s involvement with the show and association with the Salahis, the infamous White House crashers, negatively impacted Charles’ career. In an interview with The New York Times, Charles blamed the show for the dissolution of his marriage saying, “In a way, I was naïve and foolish to sign off on doing this. But, at the end of the day, it was innocent. I wanted happiness for someone I was in love with. I put all my reservations aside and said: ‘Go for it. Do it if it makes you happy.’ Then I regretted it. I lost touch with everyone, and mix that with my marriage falling apart and the show taking over, it was very sad.”
NeNe & Gregg Leakes
Much of season three of The Real Housewives of Atlanta focused on NeNe’s marital problems that were evidently sparked by her husband’s finances. The split seemed final, though, later in the season when NeNe learned that Gregg had given a radio interview in which he blamed his financial troubles on the amount of money that he had to spend to make NeNe appear wealthy in order to secure her a position on the show. She filed for divorce in June 2010, yet told Essence in December that she and Gregg were still legally together and living under the same roof, but hinted at the fact that they would, in fact, divorce, leading many to believe she was saving the drama for season four of the show.
Camille & Kelsey Grammer
It’s odd to think that Kelsey Grammer, a successful actor, would need or want to be involved with a reality show—particularly one that would expose his marriage, which had reportedly been sexless for many years. It’s also odd that while the show was filming, he would move to a different city and embark on an affair with a younger woman, for whom he eventually left his wife and married. But according to Camille, Kelsey had already emotionally checked out of the marriage, and pushed her into getting involved with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a distraction, saying, “He thought it would be good for me to do something that was separate from us being a couple.”
Vicki & Donn Gunvalson
As the last remaining original cast member of the original incarnation of The Real Housewives, Vicki Gunvalson shocked viewers after she filed for divorce in October 2010. The news came after season five of her show, which showed Vicki and Donn’s relationship healthier than ever after the renewed their wedding vows for their 15th anniversary. Vicki blames the show for her marital problems.
Jennifer & Eric Williams
The problems that plagued the marriage of Jennifer and (former NBA player) Eric Williams—namely Eric’s infidelity and a possible love child—were broadcast on the first two seasons of VH1’s Basketball Wives. After endless talks between the couple of saving their marriage, Jennifer confirmed to Life & Style in February that she was filing for divorce, the drama of which can be expected to play out on the third season of the show, premiering later this month.
Leah Messer & Corey Simms
Messer and Simms have had a crazy two years. They became pregnant with twins after only dating for about six weeks, tried to make it work, but then broke up shortly after the birth of their daughters (one of whom is a special-needs child), all of which was chronicled on their episode of 16 & Pregnant. They reunited on Teen Mom 2, and got married in a camo-themed wedding on the season finale. However, just six months after getting married (and only three weeks after the wedding episode aired on MTV) Messer filed for divorce, making them the youngest reality show couple to break up, as well as being the shortest-lived reality show marriage.
Teresa and Joe brought home their pile of pink fluff with a small person inside. On the way Joe commented they needed a bigger Cadillac for their family and implied there would be a few more kids. She asked him to get snipped because she is all done with having babies. Joe is usually very sensitive so I was surprised when he said NO. He told her to enjoy how active they were because it would slow down some day. She told him she would find a younger man. I think she was joking but I am not sure. I don’t think Joe is too worried. He knows he is prince charming and no other man could woo a woman with the skills he has.
For some reason Teresa thought it was a good idea to wake the sleeping 3 year old to see her baby sister’s outfit. They have their priorities! No one better miss a cute outfit. Wake up kid!
Danielle is visiting with the lady lucky enough to be labeled her “friend” for this episode. This is the same lady she called out at the luncheon asking her if she was Caroline’s friend. I don’t know why this soul is agreeing to play along. Her son is best friends with Caroline’s son, Chris. The topic is the upcoming benefit to be held at the Brownstone for a baby that is sick with cancer. For some strange reason, Danielle was invited to attend and she is working on gathering troops to go with her.
Danielle is wearing some strange fur vest thing and a diamond bracelet. The bracelet is kind of smallish looking…in my opinion. The script demanded that the nice lady compliment Danielle on it so she could brag that it cost a lot of money. It could easily be a CZ from Kmart but I am not going to question it.
The friend, Kim, tells us that she has a beautiful home but she doesn’t brag about it. I guess bragging about it would be if she said she had she had a super-duper amazing beautiful home. Got it. She agrees to attend the benefit at the Brownstone with Danielle because there will be nothing on Tv that night and…actually she doesn’t say WHY she is willing to do that and I can’t figure it out. The nice lady promises to have Danielle’s back. Maybe Danielle is going to give the nice lady her bracelet? Maybe the nice lady is hoping to get a reputation? Maybe she wants to be a Bravo TV star?
Chris’s friend, John, comes to visit and hugs everyone. This is the nice lady’s son. I smell…BRAVO SET UP. Caroline tells us that you can’t be friends with all her kids parents. Aint that the truth? My kid’s friend had the most annoying mother I ever met. I steer clear of her in Walmart to this day. Back to matters at hand. Caroline explains that John’s mother invited her to lunch and she turned it down because the nice lady is friends with Danielle. She doesn’t want to mess up things with the boy’s friendship. I guess I agree with her. I think it’s good that she didn’t try to change the nice ladies’ opinion of Danielle before Bravo could get all the scenes shot. I am working hard to pretend that I think this scene was needed for some reason and I didn’t just waste 6 minutes of my life.
Dina comes to see Teresa and the new baby. I wonder why the normally perfectly dressed Teresa is wearing such an awful, tight outfit. She just had a baby, where are her cute sweat pants? They chat about Danielle. Yawn. Is she pyscho or a sociopath? Who cares?
Albie, the up and coming Godfather, is meeting Ashley, his step-cousin, and her much older boyfriend for dinner. He is ready to bust heads and takes names…or something like that. Lauren is there to assist with the interrogation. Ashley is living with her boyfriend but she assures us it’s ok because she is on birth control and everything. I don’t want to know about the everything….kids these days. Sheeesh. I have to say that I love how much Albie is concerned and he is very sweet to involve himself. I love Italian families. They are in everybody’s business but that is just love.
Jacqueline comes to visit Derek’s mom. (That’s Ashley’s boyfriend) Ashley is living there with the boyfriend. It seems that either J didn’t get the memo that vests were out of style or I didn’t get the memo that they were in. I am leaning toward the latter. They have a nice chat, some wine, and before we know it they are lounging on the couch together giggling. They express love for each other…I need to know the name of the wine they are drinking.
At the Brownstone Chris and his Dad have to talk about Danielle coming to an event there. I don’t quite get it. She is weird and annoying but is she worthy of a grand alert?
Gia is celebrating her 9th birthday and Teresa wants it to be the event to remember. She is having a spa party complete with a pink limo. Seems reasonable. But wait, first she is getting her gift: a new four wheeler! With no training or helmets Gia and her little sister take off in the driveway. Mommy is worried…that they might get dirty. They pile into the limo and head to the spa while Mommy comments on how unaware her kids are about how much they spend on birthday parties. Teresa is on a mission to convince us that she is a total moron. Mission accomplished Teresa. You can stop now.
It’s the night of the benefit. The nice lady comes to Danielle’s home to plan their invasion. Danny arrives in his best black t-shirt, fresh out of the Hanes package, and his hair is styled perfectly if he is Shawn Cassidy. He is excited that in 6 days he will be off probation. Tense music. Tense edits. Good work Bravo.
Caroline is chatting with Jacqueline and Teresa and tells us that she shaves her entire face every day. I am not 100% sure why she does this and it brings strange images to mind. Have you ever seen those TLC shows with the people that have hair all over their faces? The conversation switches to Danielle and the event she is attending at the Brownstone. Yawn. With all this build up I hope it’s exciting.
Finally, it’s time for the event. Danielle, Probation Danny, and the nice lady are on their way. Danielle is excited that she is going to have an entourage waiting for her. Danny had the head of the Hell’s angels and some ex-cons meet them so they could walk in together. Apparently she wants to slip in unnoticed. Danielle goes out of her way to shake Chris’s hand. She tells us it was a psychological ‘F you’ which is bizarre. He is a KID and has nothing to do with this drama. She says “I’m walking in the door at YOUR second home, YOUR BUSINESS.” Who is she talking to? She is creepy. The nice lady makes a point of greeting Caroline’s son and he tells her that she is in for a surprise. He tells us in his personal interview that he is referring to the fact that the event is being run by a hunters groups and they were in effect over dressed. Nutty Danielle did not miss the opportunity to twist that around and tell us that he was “sadistic” and that “you knew whose son that was.” She is so…..odd.
Danielle greets the family of the sick baby and says she brought a lot of people. Their child is facing a possibly fatal illness and they want to hear about her drama? The Drama is only starting. There is no table set up for Danielle. She showed up with an entourage of guests that did not pay. “Is this the big surprise Chris was referring to?” She is such an idiot. The venue is scrambling to set up a table for the self-proclaimed guest of honor and her goons. She doesn’t like where the table is placed. She is still complaining. Danny is freaking out and yelling at people for not making things happen. Danielle now feels the need to tell the family of the sick child that “they don’t want me here” and continues to display her crazy for all the world to see. Danielle tells whoever will listen that she is leaving with dignity. The nice lady gave the family a check. In the foyer Probation Danny is forgetting himself and getting angry. Danielle is smirking and warning everyone how dangerous her entourage is. All of them are surprised that a group of convicts, a Hell’s Angel, a prostitute whore, and one nice lady were not accepted with open arms and treated as royalty. Even the tension filled music doesn’t make any of it add up to me. Danny seems to find himself to be a very threatening person. It’s kind of cute….like how a tiny dog barks and thinks he is very scary.
Danielle tells us that she has a good grasp on reality. I am not going to touch that statement. It’s a stand alone piece that demonstrates her lunacy. She is ranting and raving about how the Manzo’s treated her badly. She doesn’t understand that none of the Manzo’s had anything to do with the event. Never mind. Her voices in her head are too loud for the real world to get a word in. Wow.
This episode repulsed and angered me so deeply that I had to wait until this morning to recap it. The source: DANIELLE. Why is this woman left alone with children? Why is she allowed to make decisions about their lives? She is inappropriate, self-absorbed, narcisistic…ok, here we go.
Danielle is still upset because Jaquie and Dina did not attend the luncheon to celebrate her…I mean her DAUGHTER’s photo spread. She knew they were not coming but she still grandstands their absence to create drama and try to portray herself as a victim. Jacque sent flowers to congratulate her daughter but Danielle is not happy. She begins badgering her younger daughter with stupid questions. The little girl is not comfortable and she doesn’t want to play along. Mommy either doesn’t notice or she doesn’t give a flying frig. I am going to assume that there was no adult available for this staged scene so Bravo used her child instead. I am guessing they are following the handbook TLC uses : Victimizing Children for Profit
Danielle: Do you think I should give her a call?
Child: I don’t know! (with a look that says ‘why are you asking me this? I am 10!)
The child then suggests that mommy wants PRIVACY….meaning “let me out of here!!” Danielle refuses the request and forces her daughter to sit there while she calls Jaqueline and leaves a message. Based on the way the scenes are shown I suspect the child is forced to sit on that chair for an extended time period. Each time it flashes back to her she is sitting differently and the items on the table are changed. Is it FAIR to expect a small kid to sit there and watch her mother make a fool of herself? What does this have to do with the child? Why should she be included in any of this? Bravo- SHAME ON YOU. …and I am just getting started.
There is no answer. She leaves a message while her child chews on her braided hair. Poor, bored, child. Then Mommy starts with more questions: “Do you think she is busy? Why didn’t she answer?”….is this little kid supposed to KNOW that? Is this her child her or therapist?
In her personal interview D starts to complain “Why did she send me flowers?” (She didn’t send them to YOU moron) She catches herself “Why did you send my daughter flowers?”….is this really a question? If someone doesn’t like you then they should not be allowed to wish your child well? It’s all about YOU- right Danielle?
She finally frees her hostage and she scurries out fast before Mommy changes her mind. D calls back to leave a crazy message that makes no sense. She wants to know how they are going to “move forward” if she can’t celebrate her children with her. How many ways does Jaqueline have to say it? How clear does she have to be?
Like I said, I am angry at the entire display is asinine behavior.
Dina and Theresa get together for tea and conversation. It is planned and scripted. Clearly. They discuss the luncheon and Danielle. Again. How many times will this be revisited? Is there nothing else happening in all of New Jersey? No one is mentioning the most pressing part of the issue: Why is this crazy woman raising two children? How can we help THEM? Noooo….we are more concerned about the drama that we want kept out of our adult lives. That is the important thing. Forget the children, we have to get our hair done.
Flash to Jaqueline and Caroline having coffee together at J’s house. Guess what they are talking about? Danielle….of course….sheeeesh. Are their lives THAT small? Maybe they should have put off filming until something else interesting happened to discuss….you know…like how some shows will have the main character’s get pregnant? Except….TWO of the ladies have been pregnant and one is about to give birth. That’s right! So why is Danielle still the most interesting topic?
Caroline was all scripted and ready to go. She pointed out that Danielle never sent a card or a gift when the baby was born. It’s nice that the baby got a mention in the script. Good work Bravo.
Back at Danielle’s broken down mansion we are treated to a scene with her tormenting her children again. It seems that no adults are willing to be filmed with this vat of crazy. Poor kids. She is talking to her about Fashion week and telling her she will be wearing 8 inch heels. I think Danielle is confusing things with her stripper days. She then begins telling baby daughter to look at how beautiful her sister is and then leads them in a discussion where they are comparing themselves to each other. That is so healthy! Mothering at it’s finest.
For some reason we are now watching a very pregnant Theresa shopping in a children’s overpriced boutique. Where are these kids going that they need to be dressed in these fancy clothes? The 3-year-old is tearing hte place up. The 5-year-old is barely getting noticed. It’s allll about Gia. We are told over and over again that Gia is the next super model. I don’t snark on kids so I will shut up. Gia wants more stuff. Mom says she is not Donald Trump and tells her to that she needs to go to work….because being filmed for a reality TV show is not a job. Right Theresa? Right Bravo? Gia is not working RIGHT NOW- correct?
Gia tells mommy that she is too pretty to work. No script there…..sure.
The total is $1965.80. We needed to know that. I thought Theresa was ridiculous. Now I have proof. Thanks again Bravo. My life is complete.
Zen Jen comes to vist Dina. That is how limited this woman’s life is. What should Dina and Zen Jen talk about???? Ohhh….they need to talk about DANIELLE. The argument happened LAST YEAR and yet this is still the main topic? Zen Jen states the obvious- get her out of your life. Ummm….she is already out ZenJen….ok? I am guessing ZenJen gets paid by the hour. Good work.
Nice rehashing the only topic available Dina. CUT….time for a commercial.
At this point I just wish the show was over. I am fast forwarding my DVR and realize I am only 1/2 way through this mess and I honestly don’t want to finish watching it…but I promised a recap. Ugh.
Ok…good news. We found an adult who will film with Danielle. The realtor! If you are looking to make a huge commission on a sale then you are willing to be filmed with the whack-a-doodle. Danielle is crying about only getting “just under a million” if she were to sell now. That’s horrible! The poor thing! How could she scrape by? There is no choice but to take the house off the market. Otherwise she might have to get a JOB?
Theresa pops in to say ‘She is not too pretty to work.”
Good editing Bravo.
Dinner at Theresa’s house. Caroline is there. Joe comes home from work 3 hours late for dinner. Feeding the children ahead of time did not occur to her? No, they waited and let the whining and bouncing kids pick at their food and ruin the dinner conversation. Good call.
For no real reason Theresa suddenly says that Joe and her are “old-fashioned, but in a cute way.”….and she has to tell us that they have sex everyday. Sometimes twice. Giggle. Information I needed to know. Thanks.
Joe picks on his daughters with sarcastic comments. Theresa likes it because it gives them a thick skin. Really? Telling his daughter that she is ugly is good for her? Especially when she is on her way to be in a fashion show? When you realize she is crying you respond by making fun of her some more? Mommy tells her that he is KIDDING. Really honey, it’s FUNNY when daddy calls you an ugly duckling. And he just keeps picking. Funny stuff dad. Keep up the great parenting.
Danielle took her daughter to the “best modeling agency in the world” to teach her how to walk. Danielle keeps insisting that she was once a model. Her face is totally jacked up so it’s hard to believe that she was ever a model. Again, I think Danielle is confusing being a stripper with runway modeling.
Smaller child is bored. Too bad she is being forced to go through all this. Where is her father? My ex would have dragged me into court in a NY minute if I ever treated my kids like this and he had film to prove it.
Backstage at the runway show Gia is getting primped. She yawns. Theresa again tells her that she needs to learn to not let Daddy’s mean comments affect her because she should be used to it by now. While I appreciate the respect she has for her husband, it’s OK to say ‘Honey, Gia really needs her Daddy to be more loving and less sarcastic.”
Danielle is talking about her experiences in the stripping modeling industry. She knew a lot of unhealthy strippers models. We are supposed to guess that she is talking about anorexia and not herpes or ghonera…..so we will play along. She says she is not concerned about Christine and we flash to two tiny pieces of melon she is about to eat after announcing how hungry she is. She turns down other food. Well her “Mother” might not be worried, but I am.
One marked difference between the two modeling scenes is that Theresa is clearly happy for HER DAUGHTER while Danielle still thinks it is all about her.
Gia does look really cute. Her family is there to support her. I love that.
Runway show….watch Gia peform….watch Christine….yawn….
After the show Daddy says nice things. It’s good to know that you need to get professionally made up and perform so that Daddy will finally say something nice. Good trend Joe.
Christine looked beautiful. Danielle can’t stop talking about how the other housewives are not “Genuinely happy for me…………OR my children”….Glad she threw that in. She almost forgot about that. She is convinced that she will be traveling the world…WITH DANIELLE at her side!!! Of course! I hope her coat tails are big enough for her mother. Then Danielle says that if she had been given the same opportunities at her age then maybe her life would have turn out differently. Ummm….I thought she WAS a model? Did she forget her storyline?
Christine had to leave the stage to throw up. Her mother didn’t notice because she was too busy working the crowd so that everyone knew that this was somehow about her. I wonder where the other mother’s were? Backstage there are a handful of others who appear more motherly and concerned about Christine than the crazy freak who brought her into the world. Her first question was “What is this?” referring to the damp perspiration that appeared on her ill childs face. She is an idiot.
I am glad I am done with this recap. Tune in next week to see how many ways the housewives can talk about Danielle….yawn.
Danielle is selling her 21 room home but her ex gets most the money. She complains about him not paying her. It’s a 2 million dollar home listed for less than 1.3. awwww. Dina feels very bad for Danielle. Danielle cries to the Realtor.
Jacqueline and Caroline waiting for Teresa at lunch. The three ladies obviously enjoy each others company. giggling and just having fun. Then Teresa asks if J heard from Danielle and Jacqueline admits to speaking to her. Caroline and Teresa are pissed but J says she doesn’t have a problem. “Peaceful acquaintances” Caroline says that Danielle’s children are lacking light behind the eyes. That is cruel. J is right, that is “crossing the line” but Jac just shakes her head and tells us how she stands up for herself, even though she doesn’t stand up to her sister-in-laws (which I’m glad she doesn’t because she’s wrong about this) . Teresa brings up court documents and the kidnapping, cocaine, and loaded guns. Jacqueline says it was many many years ago. Caroline said “kidnapping” is different than shoplifting or being loose. “you hang around garbage you start to stink.”
Caroline says, “She will never win against us. Never.” What are they talking about? Win what?
Young adults throwing ham. This has something to do with the tweets I saw earlier. Ham Game. “Nothing good about the ham game, nothing fun about the ham game . . .” So, the kids are throwing ham and Caroline gets mad. Sort of. She doesn’t like the ham game.
Albie and Lauren discuss Vito and how “thinking of him holding your hand makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.” ha,
Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley comes home and brings her laundry. More about Ashley needing to grow up. Ashley explains that yes, she can get into clubs even though she’s only 18. J asks questions. Ashley evades and walks away. All mom wants to know is ARE YOU BEING SAFE and they start bickering. Brat says, “if I wanted to come here and argue with you, I’d just live here.’ Mom says, “Okay, goodbye, and take your laundry with you.”
One of Danielle’s girls just got a modeling offer. All right, what is better than THAT. She’s 13 years old. Send her to Europe! woo hoo. She will become a supermodel because she’s amazing. Danielle said that the pros are ccomparing her to Christy Brinkley . . . . yeah, right . . .
Jillian doesn look thrilled when mommy says, “you’re next. You’ll both be superstars”
Jaqueline and Dina in a baby store shopping for Teresa’s baby. Jacqueline told Dina that Ashley moved out because she didn’t like the rules. Dina asked if she’s ever just given her a “good old fashion Italian beating.” Yeah, she said that.
“I created this monster.” Yeah, Jacqueline said that. I’m having too many shocking moments tonight.
Teresa is bringing Gia to audition as a model in Fashion Week. Gia starts listing all her talents and I was looking for the cue card. She starts getting her “catwalk on” and Teresa loves it. Gia giggles. Gia does a walk and a cut to Danielle saying “Gia doesn’t have it.” Teresa says, “my baby is a star. What’s not to like? She’s beautiful.” Agent says, “I will be in touch . . .”
Danielle and Christine on the way to Christine’s photo shoot. Let’s pimp this kid out! It may be a housewife show but . . . well . . .$$$$ and whose the photographer? Bensimon! Kelly’s (RHWNY) ex husband. Christine reads lines with the affact of a 2nd grader. Yes, she’s pretty. She likes when people stare at her and tell her she’s pretty. Danielle is an over-obnoxious stage mom taking pictures of the photoshoot. Christine reads her lines that say mom is “annoying and needs to stop.” A robot might have more emotion.
Photographer wants to take Danielle’s picture too and Christine’s face looked PISSED. hmmm,
Mother daughter shoot. Danielle thinks she’s a model, again. Whatever. Note to Christine: I’m sorry your mommy put you on TV and is pushing you into modeling. RUN .
Vito comes to pick up Lauren and face Albie. More tension. Vito says, “ya wanna go talk about it ” and the men go in the kitchen. Again, it’s weird that my bro is fucking my sister . . . . ok. He didn’t say that but he’s worried about “if they break up ” that he’d lose a friend. Albie says It’ll take me awhile to adjust but he doesn’t want to SEE anything.”
“Be a gentleman . . .” backslap, buddies, have fun. Kum ba ya.
Danielle. at the modeling agency. Double kiss from a man for the little girl. Ohh, Danielle so impressed by NAMES and famous people. FIrst photo shoot, Cover. My daughter. More lines for Christine. IT’S A FUCKING TV SHOW. The DAILY is viewed by EVERYBODY (never heard of it)) and having a 5 page spread!! YEah, bravo is investing in this little girl! I’m sick to my stomach. It’s one thing when the the adults on these shows crash and burn. This girl is 13. I believe this is Danielle’s dream, not Christine’s but Christine loves the attention. Agent says she’s a great mom. “Will you have trouble going to Milan?” Nooo’ BOOK IT DANO”
Doesn’t she have another daughter? Don’t they have school? doesn’t she have a job . . .oh, sorry . . . .
Seriously, this might be my last recap. I can’t watch the kids. They are making this show about Christine and Gia. Are they housewives? Did they sign a contract? Are they getting paid for their performance on this show? yeah, sound like a freaking broken record. I’m sick of selfish parents pushing their kids in front of the camera so THEY get attention. Last week the girl was her mom’s handler/therapist and this week she’s the next supermodel of the world. I wonder how her classmates will treat her now that she’s officially the most beautiful 13-year-old that has ever existed on this earth.
Jacqueline’s house with Teresa and Caroline. More girl talk, giggling, nothing I really want to write about since I haven’t been pregnant in 12 years and I won’t ever be pregnant again. Ohhh, psycho table flip clip . . . that never gets old.
Danielle wants to have a party in her daughter’s honor and wants to invi . . . “NOT CAROLINE!” . . . . but, of course she wants to extend an invitation to Dina and Jacqueline. The girls again give their mother advice and say that maybe they shouldn’t . Danielle didn’t get this.
Danielle calls Dina to invite her to luncheon for Christine. Why is Danielle inviting ladies that aren’t friends? Then she calls Jacqueline and J says she’s happy and she supports BUT . . . it’s awkward right now. She blames it on her husband and I think that’s fine. Why would they want to hang with her. Danielle was disappointed in Jack’s response. I guess she thinks that she’s more imporant than J’s marriage and sister in law. Danielle is a selfish bitch.
Teresa gets a call saying that Gia will be in the show next week. She explains to Joe that it’s fashion week as he uses a slap chop. Hope he’s not chopping his nuts. Teresa tells Gia and the little girl SCREAMS and dances on her bed. Strut your 8 year old stuff! mommy laughs with pride. I vomit.
Danielle. How much do we need of her psycho face this week? She’s planning the luncheon for her daughter Christine because she’s on the over of a fashion magazine . . . unless you missed it the first for thousand times she mentioned it.
Kim “D” is the friend not a friend friend. She invited everybody she could and acted as if all these woman were her best freineds. Some of them she met at the grocery store. “It’s my daughter, I gave birth to her,” and she shows everybody the magazine.
Christine said, “my mom’s luncheon, wasn’t really for me . . .”
I think a certain type of woman goes on these shows and it’s harmful to everybody around them. I’m hating reality TV.
More Danielle, talking about ME. She announces that Jacqueline and Dina were invited and there are two empty seats. She announces this to the luncheon guests “I Wish them love, wrap them in beautiful light . . .” they never said they would attend. They said no. The ladies trying to talk and Danielle mentions that Kim “D” belonged to Caroline. “She decides to call one of them out saying “you’re her friend” the woman says Caroline is NOT not my friend. Our sons are friends” All the ladies clap and say they are her friends . . . yippieeeee. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. I wonder if Kim “D” is working undercover . . .
In coming attractions Gia is crying and you hear her dad say, in a horrible tone, “Crybaby.” I won’t be watching this show anymore. Sorry. My anger over the kids will make me a hater and I really don’t need to get so angry watching TV. TV was once something I enjoyed.
Danielle goes to a priest to tell him how awful the other ladies are and requests he teach her how to pray for them. It was an excuse for her to say “they looked up my past and called me names in front of my daughter.” Um, Danielle, YOU brought the book to the dinner (last season’s finale). You also could have sent your daughters out of the room, as the other ladies did, but you chose to let your very mature daughters watch you make a complete ass of yourself.
From the seasons future clips, it seems this season will be all about everybody against Danielle. I guess I should feel sorry for her for allowing Bravo to portray her as such an ignorant psychopath, but she’s over 21, signed the papers and is obviously capable of making her own decisions.
Teresa and her family members are making their yearly batch of Italian tomato sauce. It was a very nice scene except for one part. Somehow, they were discussing Jewish men and one of the young daughters said, “I don’t want to marry a Jewish man . .. they make their kids wear . . .” “OH, don’t say that . . .” ha ha, laugh it off, isn’t the kid cute.
Ok, Bravo. What was the point of that scene? So Jewish people like me will wonder what this little girl hears in her household to make her think negatively about Jewish people or why the editors decided to keep that obvious controversial line in the show. Also, knowing how much I trust reality TV I have to wonder if that line was scripted for the little girl or if this young child already has a prejudice for a certain group of people that are “different.” I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear about this subject.
What I liked about the sauce making is the few things I learned.
- You put a potato in the pot and when the potato is cooked, the sauce is done.
- The make it a family event with all the generations participating and the younger children learning. I found this to be very sweet and made me crave a little Italian in my life (or a big Italian, but I digress)
- They make enough sauce for a year. I think they said they jarred over 100 bottles. That’s really cool and probably extremely economical.
- Italians have a superstition that if a woman is “on her time” that she shouldn’t be involved in the cooking of the sauce. Somehow, if a woman has her period, she will ruin the entire batch of tomato sauce. Okay. I wonder if Italian men cook for one week a month . . . .
Jacqueline, my favorite on this show, tells her husband that she won’t close the door on Danielle. I’m not sure why but she says she might still want to text her. Whatever. Her husband has decided that he doesn’t wan the woman in his life, in J’s life or in his house. He doesn’t want the drama in his life. Gee, maybe he should have thought about that before his sisters and wife signed up for a REALITY SHOW!
Caroline’s husband has lost a great deal of weight and they go shopping for his new wardrobe. Very sweet. Caroline cries when she sees how great her man looks.
Caroline is having her yearly $!000 plate fund raiser for the Sheriff. They support their local law enforcement. Her husband instructs the boys (young men) to clean up all the dog poop before the real workers come to turn their backyard into a party paradise. Dad says, “Get Vito to help you.” Vito, it seems was Albie’s best friend for the past 5 years and now he’s dating Albie’s sister. He can’t handle it. Vito and the sister are happy in love, “he lives to make me happy” and they seem sincere and authentic. Vito shows up to clean poop in a suit. Scenes of nicely dressed men cleaning poop and scenes of dogs pooping. Riveting TV.
Danielle goes to the salon and has to mention that when she first started going there, Dina worked there. Is this a bad thing that Dina had a job? I ‘thought’ Dina and Danielle were friends but Danielle just needed to get a dig in at Dina. During her pedicure (ugly feet), Danielle was informed that Caroline is having a huge fund raiser. Danielle wonders why she wasn’t invited and is really ticked off. Maybe she should ask the Bravo scene writer why she wasn’t invited. The other shows always have people who hate each other having dinner and being social. I know that when people who hate me don’t include me in their social life, the first thing I do is feel slighted . . . eye roll . . .
Danielle, the psycho, puts her girls in the car and is going over to check out the party that she wasn’t invited to. Her daughter is more mature than she is and Danielle is showing CPS that she is mentally damaged and should not be raising daughters. Seriously, How safe is it to bring your children on your outings when you are angry and full of rage? She thinks this party is against her. She’s nuts.
Jacqueline says it sounds like a high-school lunch table when the ladies trash Danielle. Everybody was trashing her and Jacqueline and Dina were getting angry hearing their friend being gossiped about.
Danielle is repeating over and over “I don’t care that I wasn’t invited . . .” yeah, we can tell by the bulging eyes, hands grasping the steering wheel and the petrified look on your little girls’ faces that you don’t care you fucking psychopath.
Danielle wonders why they need to charge a plate if they are “thick as thieves” with the Sheriff. Danielle has the passive-aggressive sarcasm down pat and if I wasn’t disliking her so much, I’d almost be envious of her guts. ALMOST. She’s really kind of creepy.
Danielle’s girls don’t want to make a jerk of herself. They are smart girls but Danielle is saying “I couldn’t care less that I’m NOT invited . . .” Wow. Danielle listened and went home. She claims she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of showing she cares? What, don’t you think that they will see you driving and practliay foaming at the mouth because you weren’t invited to a party you can’t afford?l She went home with her daughters. Maybe one of them will be named her legal guardian and she could have mommy committed to a loony bin.
In other stories, Jacqueline’s 18 year old daughter moved in with a “friend.” and comes over with her 24 year old boyfriend and his puny dog. Jacqueline is concerned that her daughter is young and stupid, and she has a good reason for this since her daughter doesn’t even know how to open a checking account and her “diploma” is probably a GED. She says she needs “a semester off” and Jacqueline’s husband (is he her dad?) says, “a week off of WHAT?” Then they have the scripted scene of the protective father chopping vegetables with a big, sharp knife while the older boyfriend swallows deeply and fears for his testicles. Subtle Bravo.
Extremely uncomfortable and unnessess scene with Jacqueline asking her daughter and boyfriend if they are safe and do they use h control. The girl can’t write a check, you think she’d know how to . . . oh never mind. We know she will be pregnant by the end of the season (not really, just assuming).
In another story, there is this blond lady that owns a store. Danielle comes in and does her usual whine and gripe about the other ladies and the woman and Danielle shook hands and committed to their alliance of true friendship.
At Caroline’s party, that same woman and her boyfriend, who’s not a wise guy but could play one in any movie, come and sit at the table with the housewives. This woman proceeds to trash Danielle as Bravo cuts to scenes of her and Danielle declaring friendship. Kudos to the editor. This blond lady is obviously a two-faced housewife reject who wants her 15 minutes and will do what it takes to get “noticed.”
Coming attractions show more Danielle fights, Jacqueline and Dina turning against her, Caroline giving long speeches, yelling, confrontations and a gun. Yes, you can’t have a New Jersey storyline without a gun. Something had to top the table turn, right?